Blogs


Notices

Tarzan's Three Challenges

Old 12-30-2015, 07:52 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
chrcarlson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 575
Tarzan's Three Challenges

Sorry for the title-movie I'm watching.

Tomorrow I'm going fishing with my old buddies. Blue cat and flat heads are running. These guys can put 300lbs in the boat in a few hours. Last time I caught a 17lb blue. Now the Challenge part. We always drink a lot of beer. I haven't been fishing since getting sober Dec 9. Spoke with my sponsor said it would be ok IF I don't want to relive old times or an excuse to drink. I just want to enjoy some great fishing. Both guys are very cool with me not drinking and I do have an exit plan and some phone numbers to call if it gets hairy.

Sober 22 days. I really don't think I want to drink and still fear a sip of beer like death. I gotta be around it eventually. Still a challenge-it should however be easier than a sword fight which takes place on a wide-mesh net stretched over cauldrons of boiling oil.
chrcarlson is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to chrcarlson For This Useful Post:
C23 (12-31-2015), Mel12 (12-31-2015), Venecia (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 08:00 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,800
Originally Posted by chrcarlson View Post
I gotta be around it eventually.
At some point, most of us wind up around it.

This early in sobriety, though, I'd skip out on the fishing expedition. Wait until you've built some sober muscles. You don't need to create tests for yourself, the effects of which can last longer than the fishing trip itself.

The fish will still be there later.
Venecia is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Venecia For This Useful Post:
chrcarlson (12-30-2015), Dee74 (12-30-2015), Delfin (12-30-2015), Fly N Buy (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 08:13 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 185,632
Blog Entries: 1
In early recovery,I decided to road test my sobriety - cos that's what men do, right?

I hug out with my bestest drinking and smoking buddy...

I didn't cave - but I was like a cat on a hot tin roof and miserable with it...I got out of there by the skin of my teeth.

There will be times, down the track where you can go where you want with wherever you want...but that time is not now.

Staying sober is hard enough day to day...there's absolutely no need to 'test' either your resolve or your sobriety - that's just the AV getting at you with male pride.

It wants you there in that environment, with no escape and next to no plan of how to deal with the situation...and then it will gently and very reasonably suggest you start again when you get back home...

My advice is stay home - it may tick you off, but you'll be glad Monday.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
C23 (12-31-2015), chrcarlson (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 08:27 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
One Day At A Time
 
Dharma33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Congrats on 22 days!! Keep up the great work!

I'm going with the assumption that your friends will be taking beer on the boat- and so I'm with Venecia and Dee on this...maybe passing on this trip would be a good idea.

In reading Dee's example, I can relate. Early on I put myself in too many situations where I historically would have been drinking. It was less than fun....miserable even. I didn't drink but my time was the absolute opposite of enjoyable.

Yes, you will have to be around it eventually- but personally I believe it can be much later than sooner.
Dharma33 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dharma33 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 08:48 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
chrcarlson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 575
Thanks for your replies. Dee-sage council. I do know how tricky that damn AV thing is. It's very subtle and reasonable at times. Fear of drinking is the reason I haven't been hanging out with those guys.
chrcarlson is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to chrcarlson For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 09:10 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 158
Skip the trip this early in sobriety. There will be plenty of fish when you are ready to be around booze or can find a sober group to go with.
walktheline1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to walktheline1 For This Useful Post:
C23 (12-31-2015), chrcarlson (12-30-2015), Dee74 (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 10:37 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 323
Hey buddy,
I love fishing and over the Xmas break I had to turn down several similar offers with old buddies who smash the beers while out on the boat. Instead I spent 3 days exploring the countryside inlets fishing solo. It was fantastic and I felt truly at peace, wetting the line and catching some big dusky flatheads solo. It was a good alternative for me.
Maybe it's too early to be in a risky situation like that, but you can still enjoy a fish alone or why not invite a new bud from aa?
Good luck
Sean30 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sean30 For This Useful Post:
chrcarlson (12-31-2015), Dee74 (12-30-2015)
Old 12-30-2015, 10:54 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
endlesspatience's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,132
I reckon 22 days is too soon to be in a heavy drinking situation. My big change is socialising with people in coffee shops rather than bars because that way booze is not an issue and you get to see your friends. Admittedly, it's a bit hard to imagine a fishing expedition run on coffee.
endlesspatience is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to endlesspatience For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-30-2015)
Old 12-31-2015, 01:25 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,855
We gotta separate the drinking from the activity, if I wanted to drink I'd go to the pub or a liquor store, whereas if I'm going fishing, to an ice hockey game, to the theatre or the cinema, that's the primary focus of the activity.

It's also important to have people that understand and respect your decision to be Sober, and it sounds like you do.

The issue is simply being around drinking and drinking activities, the temptation of it all, and with 3 weeks of Sobriety it's still early days, there will be many more fishing trips to go on in the future, and the priority here is to protect your Sobriety at all costs!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-31-2015)
Old 12-31-2015, 04:12 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Almost 700 years sober
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,832
Blog Entries: 4
Way to soon to go to anything like that on day 22 I'd be hanging bk building sober muscles for a later date

Is this the last fishing trip ever ? of course not don't let the FOMO rule the decision on this

Wishing you the best in sobriety

SW
Soberwolf is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-31-2015)
Old 12-31-2015, 07:56 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
chrcarlson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 575
I drove to the north side of the lake, they called and said to go to the south. Got a little lost. they called me 3 time-every 10 minutes. I got angry about getting lost and their calls didn't help. Got just about to the park and they called me again. Told them I'd had enough and was going home. Probably shouldn't have gotten that angry. Probably shouldn't have said I go in the first place. A little angry at all the phone calls and getting lost a bit. Maybe some of it had to do with not being able to drink. It was interesting, maybe I learned a little.

2 hours to 23 days sober. This afternoon was a slog.

Happy New Year
Chris
chrcarlson is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to chrcarlson For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-31-2015), Sean30 (12-31-2015), Venecia (12-31-2015)
Old 12-31-2015, 08:23 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 185,632
Blog Entries: 1
I think you'll look back at this as a learning experience - congrats on 23 days man

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
chrcarlson (12-31-2015)
Old 12-31-2015, 08:35 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
chrcarlson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 575
I think I'm a bit more emotional now. I think multiple phones calls and getting lost normally get me upset. But, I think I was way too upset way too fast today. Normally I would have calmed down a bit and going fishing. I did not plan or want to drink. I have been around others drinking since getting sober, not a real problem. Perhaps it is as you said in your earlier post. alcohol is damn tricky business.

I do appreciate your insight .
chrcarlson is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to chrcarlson For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-31-2015), Venecia (12-31-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:22 PM.