Will69

Hi, posted on here recently after major blackout.
My drinking patterns were regular drinking, safe levels, may be with the occasional battle of wine or social session.
However, over period of about thirty years have had some seriously nasty blackout episodes, recently 2 or 3 per year. Reducing in number, but increasing in severity. I am 46 with a family and a job.
I haven't drunk in 4 days, it's no problem. I intend taking time out, as I have done before.
I am in no way dependant. Though after my recent 'black' and a couple of days drinking to take the edge off, I had a seriously bad hangover. I really struggle with guilt and shame.
Do I need a plan?
Any suggestions gratefully received.

On The Road

Hi Will. A Plan is most useful for attaining sobriety, not for moderating drinking. For us alcoholics, we simply can't control how much booze we consume. I suspect that since you're posting on a recovery site, you might already be thinking that you have a serious problem.

So to answer your question, yes a Plan will help you get and stay sober. When you eliminate alcohol from your life, you'll automatically limit the number of problems that you'll need to manage.

Stick around and read SR. Lots of good advice here.

Dee74

Every post I've made in the last few years to newcomers has stressed the need for a plan...so yes, I think you need a plan...otherwise you're going to find yourself in situations where you'll be blindsided - by cravings, by peer pressure, by emotions good or bad - and not know what to do.

when we don't know what to do, we tend to go to the default, and the default, at least for now in the beginning, is drinking.

so that's why you need a plan.

A plan is about finding support, and using it, as well as making the changes you need to to stay sober for good.

here's a little about what I see as a plan and a link for further details

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5314914

Welcome aboard

D

fantail

Yes, I think it's time.

"Reducing in number, but increasing in severity" is important. Blacking out more quickly and having a worse hangover is because of your physical relationship with alcohol, which you do have. It's called kindling and it makes binge drinking really dangerous as time goes on. What you're describing is binging and then tapering yourself down through withdrawal, over and over again. People without physical addictions don't have those reactions.

I'm not saying that to be pushy. I know you're not dependent in the sense of needing it go get through the day every day. But the physical reality is important to recognize, for your own safety. It's still possible to have a seizure or other dangerous withdrawal effects in a pattern like yours.

And beyond that, it sounds like you're unhappy. Not being a day-to-day drinker is a real advantage when it comes to quitting. A good plan should figure out how to capitalize on strengths like that and compensate for weaknesses (after you figure out what those are).

endlesspatience

If you don't drink the following things will stop.
1. Really bad hangovers
2. Struggling with guilt and shame connected with your alcohol consumption
3. Blackouts

You say you have a family, Will. Could you ask them to tell you honestly how they feel when you drink to black out?

When you're ready, we can tell you more about the plans we've used to recover. I personally I am choosing an AA approach but there are other alternatives.

PurpleKnight

The reality is that having "nasty" blacking out episodes "increasing in severity" is not safe no matter which way you cut it.

It sounds as though alcohol is doing you no favours and for me I needed a plan to move my life forward into a happier place, drawing a line under my drinking!!

It can be done!!

Nonsensical

That is a plan.

Is it the right plan for you? I can't really say. You seem to question it, though.

If drinking is becoming a problem then why not just do away with it for good?

Soberwolf

All good answers above

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

doggonecarl

Guess that depends on your definition of "dependent" doesn't it? You've been a member of SR since 2012, still struggling to control your drinking, still unwilling to accept sobriety as the solution. No, you would rather drink and seek a solution for your blackouts.

You are dependent on alcohol for something...what is it?

Fly N Buy

Um, a plan for what? You post states you are taking time off as you've done before. Sounds like that is your plan.......

When my consequences got bad enough I did make a choice to become willing and to go to any lengths to stop and stay stopped. I was progressing from late stage 2 into stage 3 alcoholism and regardless of what my pea brain was telling me, the physiology was loudly saying something different.

Any heart palpitations or racing BP??? These were a couple of my late term friends as well. It was only a matter of time before a heart attack or maybe respiratory failure during a blackout did me in.

Thanks for the post - it will help others certainly
Glad you're here - if you have the desire to quit for good, there's help and no one has to do it alone.

tomsteve

not having a plan doesnt read t work too good
having a plan that involves moderating,controlling or a break from drinking doesnt read to have worked for those that have tried it.

Will69

Regular palpitations, generally high bp.

Fly N Buy

Yea, figured that -it's our age. Smoker???
In short order things started to correct themselves. I actually started seeking and adhering to advice from my physician = remarkable.

Part of sobriety for me was the season in my life, so to speak. It was time to grow up. The party was over and I wanted to make my time more meaningful to those I truly hurt yet loved. Removal of alcohol has indeed changed my life.

There's a book I recently came across that many have read. It's not new, just new to me. It delves into the physiology of drinking.
Under The Influence by Milam and Ketchum

Keep posting

FreeOwl

a plan was pretty important for me... both a 'big picture' plan, and other smaller plans. Like a plan for specifically what to say when offered a drink. Specifically what to order at a restaurant INSTEAD of booze. Specifically how to make an exit from an event if I began to feel tempted or unsettled.

Big picture, I used AA as part of my plan. Exercise. Meditation. Regular readings and interactions with others in recovery....

A plan is key.

But even more important than a plan is a decision. Until I firmly made a decision to embrace sobriety and see how good my life could become by choosing to live it fully, in presence and awareness - none of my plans made any difference.

SoberinSyracuse

Hi, Will. Sounds like we're kind of on the same page. Close in age, increasing blackouts in the last few years, racing heart/high bp, history of moderation experiments and "taking breaks." Based on my personal experiences with relapse due to no plan, I'd encourage you to get a plan.

This is the year I realized I either had to quit drinking or get my affairs in order because I wouldn't live much longer.

I detoxed twice this year but relapsed each time because I didn't have a plan for how to fill the void alcohol would leave, how to retrain myself, how to manage cravings, etc.

So now I have a very thorough plan. It starts with a well-planned and prepared quit date, medical treatment, life coaching, and lots and lots of support. Wish me luck! My final quit date will be January 11!

EternalNow

A plan can be just about anything. I spent many years coming and going into sobriety and drunkedness until I went to an out-patient recovery program. I received 10 weeks of intense (5 days a week) intervention and they assigned duties for me to do on my own time, like calling a classmate, getting a sponsor, going to 12 step meetings etc. this program gave to me some building blocks I hadn't received before and my recovery this time around looks much different.

The desire to drink has been removed. I think a plan is a good idea.

EternalNow

Congratulations on your resolve, but why wait? Are you going to get medical support on the 11 th? Just wondering. it would be a hell of a hard two weeks for me.

SoberinSyracuse

Right on both counts! Yes, I'm entering a medical program on the 11th, and am preparing for it with a medically-guided taper. And yes, it is very, very hard!!!!

Will69

Really appreciate the responses, probably had similar experiences. I got the book a day or so ago, read it in about 3 hours. It resonates.

Health is a big thing, losing 10 hours to blackness and drinking incessantly and then some more wont be helping my brain or my heart. Got 3 kids and a demanding job.

Will69

I wish you well and thanks for taking the trouble to read my posts and respond! Wise words.

I am 4 days in, have been here before. Firsts cravings today after shaking off a hangover yesterday. Not given in yet.