why did/do you drink?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 14
why did/do you drink?
For me drinking makes me feel like I was version 2.0 - witty, confident, the centre of attention that people would gravitate to, I felt in control and the 'real me'.
Without a drink I was bored and boring, struggled to make 'small talk' with those I didn't know, only being able to communicate with close family members, drinking made me a 'great dad', when my kids were younger, I was the cool dad who did 'crazy' things - here son, you're 13, but have a go at driving, lets see how fast the car can go, watch dad have a go at another driver for no perceived reason other than he's drunk and he's alpha male.
My biggest fear for giving up is the drinking me is my identity, my personality, if I don't drink I feel like a shadow of me, a fraud.
What's your excuse? 😊
Without a drink I was bored and boring, struggled to make 'small talk' with those I didn't know, only being able to communicate with close family members, drinking made me a 'great dad', when my kids were younger, I was the cool dad who did 'crazy' things - here son, you're 13, but have a go at driving, lets see how fast the car can go, watch dad have a go at another driver for no perceived reason other than he's drunk and he's alpha male.
My biggest fear for giving up is the drinking me is my identity, my personality, if I don't drink I feel like a shadow of me, a fraud.
What's your excuse? 😊
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For me drinking was my identity because that was all I seemed to do, social events revolved around alcohol, friendships were based on alcohol, take away alcohol and life was boring, not because I had become boring but because my life was already boring.
Alcohol was a great escape from reality in the beginning, but then as things escalated drinking became drinking without any excuse as the reality of addiction kicked in.
No matter the reason though I think it's possible to build a new life away from alcohol, new hobbies, new routines, new interests, new things to be excited about, our lifestyle can be adapted to one without alcohol!!
Alcohol was a great escape from reality in the beginning, but then as things escalated drinking became drinking without any excuse as the reality of addiction kicked in.
No matter the reason though I think it's possible to build a new life away from alcohol, new hobbies, new routines, new interests, new things to be excited about, our lifestyle can be adapted to one without alcohol!!
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
I do not think I will ever fully understand why I have a chronic urge to self-medicate. I will drink if I win the lottery. I will drink if I lose the lottery. I will drink if I do not play the lottery at all.
In short, my reason to drink is one giant tautology. When anything under the sun serves as a reason to drink, the "why do I drink" question becomes meaningless.
Worse, when anything under the sun serves as a reason, one drinks far too much! So I definitely know the answer to "why I do NOT drink. "
In short, my reason to drink is one giant tautology. When anything under the sun serves as a reason to drink, the "why do I drink" question becomes meaningless.
Worse, when anything under the sun serves as a reason, one drinks far too much! So I definitely know the answer to "why I do NOT drink. "
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Lockyboy 
For me drinking makes me feel like I was version 2.0 - witty, confident, the centre of attention that people would gravitate to, I felt in control and the 'real me'.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Lockyboy
My biggest fear for giving up is the drinking me is my identity, my personality, if I don't drink I feel like a shadow of me, a fraud.
What's your excuse? ��
Driving our kids drunk is but one painful memory I had to deal with. In sobriety I learn to forgive myself and others. I clean up my wreckage, make amends for the harms I've caused and learn how to live life!!!
I am glad you're here with, it's natural to ask why. We all did, but some who've been around a few 24 hours forget that, perhaps.
Keep coming back, and keep posting. I can't wait to hear more about your story and your plan for sobriety, friend@
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 57
For me, drinking removes fear.
Unfortunately, I have to pay the courage back with a huge amount of interest. Booze fuels the fear, so the only options are to get sober and learn how to manage my fear or live in a perpetual state of numbness and isolation.
Unfortunately, I have to pay the courage back with a huge amount of interest. Booze fuels the fear, so the only options are to get sober and learn how to manage my fear or live in a perpetual state of numbness and isolation.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I drank because it was fun, and then
I drank because nothing was fun unless I was drinking, and then
I drank because I was unhappy if I wasn't drinking, and then
I drank because I was miserable unless I was drinking, and then
I drank because it made me less miserable, and then
I was miserable all the time, and then
I stopped drinking and things got much better.
I drank because nothing was fun unless I was drinking, and then
I drank because I was unhappy if I wasn't drinking, and then
I drank because I was miserable unless I was drinking, and then
I drank because it made me less miserable, and then
I was miserable all the time, and then
I stopped drinking and things got much better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Initially drinking took away my fears and anxiety. It was like a magic potion that made my whole body and mind relax. It made conversations flow freely and naturally. My self consciousness melted away. I could dance and sing and joke and write witty emails. It even made me motivated to do things around the house like clean.
It cured my insomnia. Every evening after work was like a special occasion. I enjoyed alcohol so much it was all I needed to sit on the porch for five hours from 6 PM till 11 PM alone. Isn't that weird? I was totally content to sit alone on the porch drink for five hours. Now I can barely sit still for 30 minutes.
Basically alcohol appeared be the greatest thing that ever happened to me at first. Like someone else said: version "me 2.0." For the first time ever I was the one at the party making jokes and people liked me. It turned me from an introvert to an extrovert.
It truly made my comfortable in my own skin.
Then it nearly ruined my life and nearly killed me.
It cured my insomnia. Every evening after work was like a special occasion. I enjoyed alcohol so much it was all I needed to sit on the porch for five hours from 6 PM till 11 PM alone. Isn't that weird? I was totally content to sit alone on the porch drink for five hours. Now I can barely sit still for 30 minutes.
Basically alcohol appeared be the greatest thing that ever happened to me at first. Like someone else said: version "me 2.0." For the first time ever I was the one at the party making jokes and people liked me. It turned me from an introvert to an extrovert.
It truly made my comfortable in my own skin.
Then it nearly ruined my life and nearly killed me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
I went through a traumatic experience at the age of 13, small town, religious family but was brought up to not talk about problems, just bury them so that is what I did although it was painful.
I discovered alcohol around the age of 17 and discovered this pain was suppressed and I felt better, by the age of 26 I had a highly successful career and two wonderful children but the drinking was non stop in the evenings and weekends.
For me I drank to suppress pain from traumatic events however I found myself in and out of detox and programs trying to get control, never telling anyone what happened until 3 years ago I went through an Intensive Treatment Program and I finally told someone and it felt good but after I was out I became busy with work and didn't do the suggested follow up (PTSD), I found myself back in Detox in April of this year, hospital first as I was told I was as close to death as they have seen, then detox.
Had a wonderful summer with a new GF, however she was out of the country in mid November of this year, I was mentally exhausted from work and the pain from these experiences started, without even playing the tape through I started again, this time I lost everything, found myself in and out of the hospital and then detox again.
It basically ruined my Christmas and my kids will not talk to me, GF is on the fence, will text and that is about it, I will never touch a drink again, I have finally learned my lesson but it took for me hitting rock bottom to get there and I am using every tool and resource available, point being alcohol will eventually take everything from us.
I had a GF a few years back who claimed the only way she felt comfortable and free was to have a drink, it became out of control, I was staying sober through all this and took her to detox for 28 days. When she came out she said I don't think you will love me sober, she was wrong however she only stayed sober for two weeks so I left and never looked back, I do stay in contact with her adult children, alcohol has taken everything from her so I am told including an amazing career at a hospital.
I believe it's this inner voice we have telling us we need to drink because of (whatever) then we go out of control, no reasoning, no cares and a desperate hard time stopping.
To me its a loaded gun in my case and I want off the roller coaster and I am off (Dec 12th) since I lost my job for being away on this binge I am totally focused on recovery and eventually recovered. When I say recovered I want to be clear in my case I can never drink again, one is too many and a 24 just isn't enough.
Wish you well on your journey, talk to others who have seen you sober, this inner voice telling us we need to have a drink is a curse and very dangerous, just my experience.
I discovered alcohol around the age of 17 and discovered this pain was suppressed and I felt better, by the age of 26 I had a highly successful career and two wonderful children but the drinking was non stop in the evenings and weekends.
For me I drank to suppress pain from traumatic events however I found myself in and out of detox and programs trying to get control, never telling anyone what happened until 3 years ago I went through an Intensive Treatment Program and I finally told someone and it felt good but after I was out I became busy with work and didn't do the suggested follow up (PTSD), I found myself back in Detox in April of this year, hospital first as I was told I was as close to death as they have seen, then detox.
Had a wonderful summer with a new GF, however she was out of the country in mid November of this year, I was mentally exhausted from work and the pain from these experiences started, without even playing the tape through I started again, this time I lost everything, found myself in and out of the hospital and then detox again.
It basically ruined my Christmas and my kids will not talk to me, GF is on the fence, will text and that is about it, I will never touch a drink again, I have finally learned my lesson but it took for me hitting rock bottom to get there and I am using every tool and resource available, point being alcohol will eventually take everything from us.
I had a GF a few years back who claimed the only way she felt comfortable and free was to have a drink, it became out of control, I was staying sober through all this and took her to detox for 28 days. When she came out she said I don't think you will love me sober, she was wrong however she only stayed sober for two weeks so I left and never looked back, I do stay in contact with her adult children, alcohol has taken everything from her so I am told including an amazing career at a hospital.
I believe it's this inner voice we have telling us we need to drink because of (whatever) then we go out of control, no reasoning, no cares and a desperate hard time stopping.
To me its a loaded gun in my case and I want off the roller coaster and I am off (Dec 12th) since I lost my job for being away on this binge I am totally focused on recovery and eventually recovered. When I say recovered I want to be clear in my case I can never drink again, one is too many and a 24 just isn't enough.
Wish you well on your journey, talk to others who have seen you sober, this inner voice telling us we need to have a drink is a curse and very dangerous, just my experience.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
Posts: 2
Haven't figured out the answer to that question - completely anyway. I don't drink everyday. I can have a drink or two and stop. I also can binge drink. The binge drinking is the part that gets me into trouble and has gotten me into trouble which is why I am on here. Why do I binge? ... Well.... I think it's because I get in a mood, start feeling 'real good' after a few drinks and decide "sure why not have another". And, before I know it... i have had too much. I don't usually do stupid things like fight or drive or much else really. It's more of a quiet drinking episode where I will eventually take myself to bed - hoping my partner doesn't see the drunkness ... I kid myself each time thinking it went unnoticed ... it has not ... I need to make some serious changes ..... thanks for listening.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
I drank because it made me forget things momentarily, i drank because i didnt want to face the truth, i drank because i have an addictive personality.
I no longer drink because i actually like who i am, i no longer drink because i can face up to reality, i no longer drink because i still have an addictive personality.
I no longer drink because i actually like who i am, i no longer drink because i can face up to reality, i no longer drink because i still have an addictive personality.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
I drank for the same reasons you did. To have fun, to be sociable, to not be self conscience.
I was a great dad too...when I was drunk...or so I thought anyway.
It's a progressive disease though. The benefits start going away and suddenly you find yourself fighting depression and anxiety when sober. For a while, alcohol puts them at ease. The issue is I had to drink more volume and more often to keep those feelings at bay.
Before long, I found myself drinking all day. Is have intense depression and anxiety as the alcohol wore off. One of the final straws for me was when I'd have a panic attack w/I 15min of drinking. I was already having panic attacks when I woke up or in the middle of the night. But when I would drink vodka first thing in the morning, then have a panic attack again shortly after, the game was over.
By then, I had already lost interest in everything. I divorced my wife, got fired from my job, spent all my savings, lost my house. None of those issues made me reflect on the cause of the problem. I didn't yet realize that I was drinking a depressant which was compounding depression and creating a negative outlook.
It took another couple years before the major depression and anxiety would kick in immediately after drinking.
I'm 8months sober now. At first I was not comfortable in my own skin. Now I am me and I like who I am. That goes a looong way towards being confident, which helps with social situations and how I behave and treat those who are important to me.
I was a great dad too...when I was drunk...or so I thought anyway.
It's a progressive disease though. The benefits start going away and suddenly you find yourself fighting depression and anxiety when sober. For a while, alcohol puts them at ease. The issue is I had to drink more volume and more often to keep those feelings at bay.
Before long, I found myself drinking all day. Is have intense depression and anxiety as the alcohol wore off. One of the final straws for me was when I'd have a panic attack w/I 15min of drinking. I was already having panic attacks when I woke up or in the middle of the night. But when I would drink vodka first thing in the morning, then have a panic attack again shortly after, the game was over.
By then, I had already lost interest in everything. I divorced my wife, got fired from my job, spent all my savings, lost my house. None of those issues made me reflect on the cause of the problem. I didn't yet realize that I was drinking a depressant which was compounding depression and creating a negative outlook.
It took another couple years before the major depression and anxiety would kick in immediately after drinking.
I'm 8months sober now. At first I was not comfortable in my own skin. Now I am me and I like who I am. That goes a looong way towards being confident, which helps with social situations and how I behave and treat those who are important to me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
I started drinking to have friends and fit in. Mostly because I was young and felt awkward. It gave me courage. It made it much easier to talk to and date girls. Later I would actually have two or three beers for courage and loosen me up for job interviews or other things where I was "on the spot." Then I'd drink for fun or because I was bored, depressed and didn't want to think about something. It was an excellent tool and I used it as such. The DUI's and other problems were bad luck or perhaps I just drank a little too much that time. Much later i realized I couldn't just quit at least not for very long. For decades I used alcohol to avoid life and normal feelings. It has not totally destroyed as it has some but at least a part of the last 30 tears have been wasted. I wonder what I'd be if I'd never had a drink? I have been a total tool and alcohol has treated me as such.
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