why did/do you drink?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by MistySky 
Haven't figured out the answer to that question - completely anyway. I don't drink everyday. I can have a drink or two and stop. I also can binge drink. The binge drinking is the part that gets me into trouble and has gotten me into trouble which is why I am on here. Why do I binge? ... Well.... I think it's because I get in a mood, start feeling 'real good' after a few drinks and decide "sure why not have another". And, before I know it... i have had too much. I don't usually do stupid things like fight or drive or much else really. It's more of a quiet drinking episode where I will eventually take myself to bed - hoping my partner doesn't see the drunkness ... I kid myself each time thinking it went unnoticed ... it has not ... I need to make some serious changes ..... thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 234
testimony
I drank to forget.
I reached for things other than making friendships because I was always morbid inside my head.
I used because I kept secrets, mine and others.
I didn't care about me for a very long time.
I wanted to be seen and not heard.
I was surprised when I didn't disappear.
I was shocked when I decided to quit, and quit again. And again.
I was stupified when I looked up and saw that You cared.
I am grateful and a little bit hopeful that my usefulness will testify there is a place for others who feel the same.
There is a place for us to have fun without the fear.
There is life without oblivion, and it calls to each one of us.
All along there was at least one outstretched hand offering me hope, it remained there in different forms until I was ready.
So that today, we can stand beside each other, one by one,
until no one is left floundering in the dark, manic with false hope, crying on the floor, wandering in desperation, writhing in anger...
If you choose to stand up, no matter how shaky you feel, and Be Your true self, I choose to stand with you, because it was done for me; I know it's our destiny.
I'm extremely tired and worn but these words felt true at the moment. Thank you to any one that read this, and writes here. I wish you Peace in your head and Joy in your heart.
I reached for things other than making friendships because I was always morbid inside my head.
I used because I kept secrets, mine and others.
I didn't care about me for a very long time.
I wanted to be seen and not heard.
I was surprised when I didn't disappear.
I was shocked when I decided to quit, and quit again. And again.
I was stupified when I looked up and saw that You cared.
I am grateful and a little bit hopeful that my usefulness will testify there is a place for others who feel the same.
There is a place for us to have fun without the fear.
There is life without oblivion, and it calls to each one of us.
All along there was at least one outstretched hand offering me hope, it remained there in different forms until I was ready.
So that today, we can stand beside each other, one by one,
until no one is left floundering in the dark, manic with false hope, crying on the floor, wandering in desperation, writhing in anger...
If you choose to stand up, no matter how shaky you feel, and Be Your true self, I choose to stand with you, because it was done for me; I know it's our destiny.
I'm extremely tired and worn but these words felt true at the moment. Thank you to any one that read this, and writes here. I wish you Peace in your head and Joy in your heart.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by Lockyboy
For me drinking makes me feel like I was version 2.0 - witty, confident, the centre of attention that people would gravitate to, I felt in control and the 'real me'.
Without a drink I was bored and boring, struggled to make 'small talk' with those I didn't know, only being able to communicate with close family members, drinking made me a 'great dad', when my kids were younger, I was the cool dad who did 'crazy' things - here son, you're 13, but have a go at driving, lets see how fast the car can go, watch dad have a go at another driver for no perceived reason other than he's drunk and he's alpha male.
My biggest fear for giving up is the drinking me is my identity, my personality, if I don't drink I feel like a shadow of me, a fraud.
What's your excuse? ��
Without a drink I was bored and boring, struggled to make 'small talk' with those I didn't know, only being able to communicate with close family members, drinking made me a 'great dad', when my kids were younger, I was the cool dad who did 'crazy' things - here son, you're 13, but have a go at driving, lets see how fast the car can go, watch dad have a go at another driver for no perceived reason other than he's drunk and he's alpha male.
My biggest fear for giving up is the drinking me is my identity, my personality, if I don't drink I feel like a shadow of me, a fraud.
What's your excuse? ��
Oh yes, and the taste. I loved the taste.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Sobriety unlocks greatness
Hi Locky, u can totally relate to your fear. I was the life of the party and people relied on me for that....it was my identity.
I feared losing that ability/identity.
But dogonecarl is right on! Sobriety truly does unlock who you really are....and please TRUST ME:
--alcohol does NOT make you funny, your true self has a great sense of humor
--alcohol doesn't make you a driven alpha male, your true self has that courage
--alcohol does not make you cool, your true self was just "uncovered" in glimpses because you THOUGHT you needed alcohol to reveal your greatness
My story: I've found I have many more people tell me "you are so funny! Seriously you should be a comedian." And many more positive traits that have emerged now that I stopped giving alcohol the credit for something that really belongs to ME!!
Unfortunately alcoholism makes us think we can only be amazing when alcohol removes our inhibitions.
It's simply a myth that alcoholism keeps telling you.
Your great abilities and characteristics will emerge, sharpen, and take on new life the longer you are sober. I have a "hair trigger" wit and humor because my brain moves much faster now.
I've been sober 3 months but was 1.5 years before that. During the 1.5 years I still believed the myth. During the past 3 months I'm working a plan that has crushed the myth that I'm a cooler person with alcohol.
I hope this helps some. Alcoholism is a confusing, deceiving problem. You are more amazing without the poison!
I feared losing that ability/identity.
But dogonecarl is right on! Sobriety truly does unlock who you really are....and please TRUST ME:
--alcohol does NOT make you funny, your true self has a great sense of humor
--alcohol doesn't make you a driven alpha male, your true self has that courage
--alcohol does not make you cool, your true self was just "uncovered" in glimpses because you THOUGHT you needed alcohol to reveal your greatness
My story: I've found I have many more people tell me "you are so funny! Seriously you should be a comedian." And many more positive traits that have emerged now that I stopped giving alcohol the credit for something that really belongs to ME!!
Unfortunately alcoholism makes us think we can only be amazing when alcohol removes our inhibitions.
It's simply a myth that alcoholism keeps telling you.
Your great abilities and characteristics will emerge, sharpen, and take on new life the longer you are sober. I have a "hair trigger" wit and humor because my brain moves much faster now.
I've been sober 3 months but was 1.5 years before that. During the 1.5 years I still believed the myth. During the past 3 months I'm working a plan that has crushed the myth that I'm a cooler person with alcohol.
I hope this helps some. Alcoholism is a confusing, deceiving problem. You are more amazing without the poison!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
I forgot to encourage with this:
Practice practice practice
If i read my post a few years ago I'd think "ha! Thanks a lot, cause I have no idea HOW to GET from where I am to feeling better."
Practice
I had to see over and over and over that my great qualities will emerge without alcohol. I had to see it in many different situations.
Practice practice practice
If i read my post a few years ago I'd think "ha! Thanks a lot, cause I have no idea HOW to GET from where I am to feeling better."
Practice
I had to see over and over and over that my great qualities will emerge without alcohol. I had to see it in many different situations.
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