sorrysoul

Hello all,

I've been posting here and there for a little while, but always go back to using. I was finally caught without a license in my husbands car.. He had an anti depressant in there and I had pot and a little piece of suboxone so I got charged with all that spent the weekend in jail. Long-ish story short now I have to report to a drug court type thing, calling in every day and get counseling. I signed up today for that.. Finally after being so scared to do anything. I hope it helps because I still just want to use, and have a couple times not knowing when I could be tested.. It's scary I never wanna go back there you think that would be enough so why do I keep thinking about it am I that stupid?
Sorry for all that just feeling down about everything. I feel really depressed I can't do anything but it should be a good thing right? Shouldn't be so conflicting.
Thanks for listening/reading just had to get it off my chest...

beautifulpines

I understand about conflict. Thank you for sharing.

Inchworm

I really hope that you use these new opportunities to help you in your sobriety journey, sorry.

least

I hope the counseling helps and I hope this will be your motivation to get clean for good.

Dee74

I'm really sorry that happened sorrysoul, but I hope you can use this as a turning point.

I think most people feel a little conflict for a while - feed your good side

D

Ghostlight1

Wishing you the best and good vibes sent your way.
Don't be to hard on yourself. We're all here for you.

Soberwolf

Let this be a TurningPoint

doggonecarl

From your previous posts it seems you've been resistant to doing the things you can do to get clean. You have to want to get clean, and you have to do the things that support that goal. And if you can't do it alone--you get help.

Let this be the start of that help.

Ruby2

I certainly didn't really want to quit when I did but knew that I had to. I understand the conflict you're feeling. Use this as the foundation to start your recovery. Counseling and accountability helped me. I came to enjoy it. You may enjoy it too.

Anna

I hope you decide that you want to live a sober life. Make use of the services offered to you and let this be a turning point in your life.