bigfle
 

Had the shittest 5 days ever having missed xmas with my 3 year daughter after falling out with my partner of 6 years when she came home from work to find me drunk.I spent 3 days on a bender in a travelodge only stopping christmas eve because the guilt of not seeing my daughter before xmas day was eating me up.

Reflecting now 3 days sober i'm racked with guilt for not being there to see her open her presents & missing what should have been a happy time with my family.I feel like such a selfish loser & a bad dad to boot.

Congrats on 3 days! I too am on my third day and had a horrible holiday as well. From reading through the different experiences others have had on here, we are not alone. I hope this can be a turning point in your life.

So, all you can do at this point is to make sure it never happens again. Are you ready to make that commitment to recovery?

Welcome to the Forum Bigfle!! :wave:

The insidious insanity continued for me until I used that guilt, shame and remorse as motivation. Remarkably - slowly, I now think of how my actions help or hurt others first (mostly).

Didn't want to continue in that painful, selfish cycle forever. No way to live......

Welcome, glad you're posting here - you're in the right place. Most of us have felt like you do at one time friend.

Pre xmas bender
 

I feel like a wounded animal at the moment & can't talk to any one close about how mashed my head is.I did start seeing a counsellor last month for binge drinking & tried to get in touch when i carried on drinking on the 2nd day for a bit of guidance but she was off on the sick.It takes me about a week normally to sort my head & rid myself of my guilt & low self esteem from a mega binge like this!!

Welcome Bigfle have you thought about meetings and writing up a plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Recovering
 

I'm going to carry on with my counselling & attend meetings( i've been offered acupuncture, don't know how that would help though)... i can go for months sober battering the gym & living a reasonable healthy life even controlling my drinking fairy well then bang, i go off the rails for 3 or 4 days & reach the point of despair... being parted from my daughter & love ones this xmas has definately been the final straw in my bingeing career, being on here and shareing this story has actually helped my through today thanks!!

Welcome bigfle

Going to the gym and sharing your story here are both good things - but maybe you need a little more to help you get out of the long term cycle you're in?

I'm not selling anything or pushing anything on you but this link is pretty good for making up a recovery plan

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

D

Good to meet you, bigfle. I did similar things when drinking. Never meant to get carried away, but always did. Here's where it can end. :) You're not alone.

Thanks

Kind words, thank you.

Thanks for the support, it's very helpful

Thankyou

Welcome to the family. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. :)

Welcome Bigfle. There is a lot of support here. I was a binge drinker as well. I am 5 weeks sober now and could not do it with out this site.

Get your plan together and check in here often. You can do this.

Sorry bout your xmas. Welcome to SR, you can do it!

Hi Bigfle, you've found a great place here for support mate.

Hi Bigfle and welcome to SR.

I used to cringe when I woke up from my bingeing! The regret, loss of memory, injuries, to name a few.

So glad I got away from all that. You can too! There is life after booze!