I cant wait for this year to be over.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 146
I cant wait for this year to be over.
I really cant wait for 2016, it really is my last chance i feel.
I havnt been on here since around halfway through the year and its been the worst year, full of hope then setbacks then utter despair.
Was looking through some old posts and cant believe i came here 3 years ago and have been making the same mistake, im an idiot.
Im gonna try this last time to stop, and this time im not having that deluded thought in the back of my mind that after a few months i can start to ''moderate''. Its beyond a joke.
Im 30 next year, this has been going on, 12 years, 6 years quite bad, my biggest fear is waking up at 40 and it all nearly being over for me.
Hope you all had a great christmas and lets hope next year will be the best year for all of us.
I havnt been on here since around halfway through the year and its been the worst year, full of hope then setbacks then utter despair.
Was looking through some old posts and cant believe i came here 3 years ago and have been making the same mistake, im an idiot.
Im gonna try this last time to stop, and this time im not having that deluded thought in the back of my mind that after a few months i can start to ''moderate''. Its beyond a joke.
Im 30 next year, this has been going on, 12 years, 6 years quite bad, my biggest fear is waking up at 40 and it all nearly being over for me.
Hope you all had a great christmas and lets hope next year will be the best year for all of us.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
You can do this Bradley, what's your plan looking like?
I went round in circles for over a year, and realized nothing changes if nothing changes, we need to try something new, some new actions.
You can do this, but it's not going to be done through hoping, wishful thinking or willing it to happen, get a plan together and change your life once and for all!!
I amongst others want you to finally crack this Bradley!!
I went round in circles for over a year, and realized nothing changes if nothing changes, we need to try something new, some new actions.
You can do this, but it's not going to be done through hoping, wishful thinking or willing it to happen, get a plan together and change your life once and for all!!
I amongst others want you to finally crack this Bradley!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Bradley, you can do this. I didn't think I'd ever make it and when people told me to do more I somehow couldn't figure out what that was! When I finally wised up, I got as much help as I could find and had to let go of some of my cherished prejudices. Now I'm past 16 months and simply love being sober all of the time. Even on my worst days, I'm so very grateful to be sober. I did an intensive outpatient program (came close to needing inpatient rehab), AA (not my favorite thing to do but it helped), psychotherapy and a few others.
I now read and post here every single day in multiple threads. I keep my recovery front and center because I never, ever want to go back there.
I now read and post here every single day in multiple threads. I keep my recovery front and center because I never, ever want to go back there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Hey Bradley, first of all, you're not an idiot. Please get that thought out of your head. Instead, you're a person with a problem, like the rest of us. Good news is, there's a way out. Commit yourself to stopping. You can do it!
Recoverer of Self
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 297
I remember turning 30 and swearing to get my drinking under control....that was 15 yrs ago...and it feels like 15 min's ago...that's how fast it goes by...and here I am, still in the same boat (except these are the first 2 weeks since then that I've been sober).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Start 2016 a few days early Bradley.
Make a plan - think about your goals and how to get them.
I've given you links before about making plans - lemme know if you need them again
You can do this.
Make a plan - think about your goals and how to get them.
I've given you links before about making plans - lemme know if you need them again
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
I'm with Dee. Get started now and then you can wake up on New Year's Day already days in and past the worst of it. Then you will truly have a good start to a good year. It seems almost impossible at first, but if you take it one day at a time and make it through the hardest part, it starts to get better and better with each day. You can do this. I know you can!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Thanx for the replys everyone, Its been a bad day today. Im just really getting fed up. It seems like the same cycle. Don't drink for a coulpe months, , fall of the wagon, come on here and moan, fall of the wagon some more , then stop for a while and so on. I don't think I can do ot any longer.I must also say that life isn't rubbish it is a blessing , its just that at the moment it dosnt feel like it. x
I noticed that you've been here over three years but have barely over 100 posts, and most of them are when you relapse. Maybe you should start posting before you relapse so you can draw strength from the members here.
Aren't you tired of this lifestyle yet?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 146
Yes thats true , i always mostly come on here when ive relapsed or been drinking for months.
I dunno what to say to be honest, i dont know why i do that.
And yeah im very tired of this lifestyle, its horrible .
I dunno what to say to be honest, i dont know why i do that.
And yeah im very tired of this lifestyle, its horrible .
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I checked back on some of your previous threads and couldn't find anything on whether you have family or sober friends for support. The times I had any decent sober time was when I had F2F support. You might want to consider AA or some other recovery program such as SMART if they have meetings in your area. John
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by bradley26 
I dunno what to say to be honest
"Starting today I will do whatever it takes to get sober" or maybe:
"My goal for the day is to not pick up a drink NO MATTER WHAT"
or how about
"Today i will see a doctor/therpaist/go to an AA meeting/etc and figure out a plan to stop drinking"
As you said, you've been here many times before and heard this all many times. You can end the year on a positive note and make 2016 be whatever you want it to be...it all depends on your choices and your actions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
It's good to see you again, Bradley. I was getting worried! I completely understand your despair- I felt that same despair for many, many years. The shame, the awful sense of inevitability and hopelessness. As bad as it is now, it can be better. You have the power within you to make a change.
Are you ready to let go of the misery? That might sound like a dumb question! Of course I am ready to not be miserable you might think. But on some level I kept clinging to my misery, and I only stopped for good when I was ready to give up. Quitting felt akin to death as I couldn't imagine living without booze. Ultimately I decided drinking really was going to be my death.
Please hang in there, man. It can be so much better than you think right now.
Are you ready to let go of the misery? That might sound like a dumb question! Of course I am ready to not be miserable you might think. But on some level I kept clinging to my misery, and I only stopped for good when I was ready to give up. Quitting felt akin to death as I couldn't imagine living without booze. Ultimately I decided drinking really was going to be my death.
Please hang in there, man. It can be so much better than you think right now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
I entered recovery at the age of 30 and
now here I am 57 with 25yrs sobriety.
That first day sober I was in a rehab
hospital after my family placed me into
the hands of those capable and knowledgable
to teach me about my addiction and give
me a program of recovery to incorporate
in all areas of my life.
That very day back in August 1990 would
be a turning point in my life that would
give me my life back and set me on a path
of recovery to listen, learn, absorb and
apply many helpful suggestions, lessons,
of a recovery program to help me achieve
healthy, happiness and honesty.
Admitting Accepting Believing
Willingness Openmindedness Honesty
now here I am 57 with 25yrs sobriety.
That first day sober I was in a rehab
hospital after my family placed me into
the hands of those capable and knowledgable
to teach me about my addiction and give
me a program of recovery to incorporate
in all areas of my life.
That very day back in August 1990 would
be a turning point in my life that would
give me my life back and set me on a path
of recovery to listen, learn, absorb and
apply many helpful suggestions, lessons,
of a recovery program to help me achieve
healthy, happiness and honesty.
Admitting Accepting Believing
Willingness Openmindedness Honesty
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
