I need help
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Hey Toby, You sound a lot like me. I went to AA Dec 9 for the first time but I was really desperate to quit. I've quit many many times on my own-for a few days.
The first step is admitting you are powerless over alcohol. I've done that and it sounds like you are pretty close. I have found it makes a world of difference for me. It's much easier this time and every day is a new record for me.
Second step is the Higher power thing, I'm still working on that. Really anything can be your higher power, the group, SR, your super ego...ect. I was told not to sweat it just keep an open mind and keep coming back.
I usually drink in the evens so got at night works very well for me.
If you don't like the first group go to several others or go at different time. All will have different people so will be different.
I feel for you my friend but if I can do after 30 years of hard drinking anyone can.
Advice: find someone at the meeting you like/respect and after the meeting say "I'm Toby how are you?" Most AA'er are very friendly and none are judgmental about alcohol abuse. .
The first step is admitting you are powerless over alcohol. I've done that and it sounds like you are pretty close. I have found it makes a world of difference for me. It's much easier this time and every day is a new record for me.
Second step is the Higher power thing, I'm still working on that. Really anything can be your higher power, the group, SR, your super ego...ect. I was told not to sweat it just keep an open mind and keep coming back.
I usually drink in the evens so got at night works very well for me.
If you don't like the first group go to several others or go at different time. All will have different people so will be different.
I feel for you my friend but if I can do after 30 years of hard drinking anyone can.
Advice: find someone at the meeting you like/respect and after the meeting say "I'm Toby how are you?" Most AA'er are very friendly and none are judgmental about alcohol abuse. .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
So I made it to an AA meting sober and returned home without stopping to buy a bottle of vodka. There has been many times in the past that I have attended a meeting drunk or certainly with drink in me. Or I have immediately left and stopped at the nearest point that sells alcohol. I intend to go to as many meetings as possible over the coming days but must not beat myself up if I fail to attend or if I take a drink. I am so glad I have found this site. Instead of heading for the alcohol this morning, I made coffee and logged in. Thank you all.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
Hi Toby, pleased you made it to the meeting.
When I stopped drinking I told myself that I don't drink whatever. Then came the hard part of living without it , hence the sober recovery.
It gets so much easier though and when you have the tools to hand with the experience from AA and this site, when cravings come you know how to deal with them and not give in to them.
When I stopped drinking I told myself that I don't drink whatever. Then came the hard part of living without it , hence the sober recovery.
It gets so much easier though and when you have the tools to hand with the experience from AA and this site, when cravings come you know how to deal with them and not give in to them.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Morning Toby, good to meet you.
Glad to hear you got thro the day without a drink mate, definitely a great place to stay close to this - loads of support and great advise.
Rather than take that first drink post here and think of other things you could do instead.
What other plans have you got for today mate ?
Glad to hear you got thro the day without a drink mate, definitely a great place to stay close to this - loads of support and great advise.
Rather than take that first drink post here and think of other things you could do instead.
What other plans have you got for today mate ?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Glad you got to a meeting and have managed to stop drinking. If there is still alcohol in the house, is it possible to tip it or give it away? Or at least have someone hide it away out of your reach?
I went to a lovely AA meeting Xmas night - my partner still drinks a lot and had had a skinful and was driving me mad shouting and swearing at the TV set, so it was a relief to be able to help out some others by giving them lifts to the next town, and it was a lovely surprise to see my AA 'sister' (best friend and we share a sponsor) there as she thought it wouldn't be possible to get away. A couple at AA had invited anyone who'd be spending Christmas alone to their home for dinner and then driven them to the meeting to round off the day as well - which warmed my heart. Others had opted to spend the day helping with Xmas dinners hosted by charities. Others had attended Xmas dinners hosted by charities. By the time I got back my OH had got to Albert Steptoe mode and was just emitting the occasional 'mneeughhh' and muttering to himself, so I could ignore him much easier lol. Thank God for AA at Christmas! (and the rest of the year as well.)
PS I know very few 'religious' folk in the rooms of AA that I go to. The whole HP thing is pretty adaptable to our personal beliefs. For some it is nature; or love; or the great unknown - if you listen out for the similarities rather than the differences there's a lot of relief to be had in those meetings and through the steps.
I went to a lovely AA meeting Xmas night - my partner still drinks a lot and had had a skinful and was driving me mad shouting and swearing at the TV set, so it was a relief to be able to help out some others by giving them lifts to the next town, and it was a lovely surprise to see my AA 'sister' (best friend and we share a sponsor) there as she thought it wouldn't be possible to get away. A couple at AA had invited anyone who'd be spending Christmas alone to their home for dinner and then driven them to the meeting to round off the day as well - which warmed my heart. Others had opted to spend the day helping with Xmas dinners hosted by charities. Others had attended Xmas dinners hosted by charities. By the time I got back my OH had got to Albert Steptoe mode and was just emitting the occasional 'mneeughhh' and muttering to himself, so I could ignore him much easier lol. Thank God for AA at Christmas! (and the rest of the year as well.)
PS I know very few 'religious' folk in the rooms of AA that I go to. The whole HP thing is pretty adaptable to our personal beliefs. For some it is nature; or love; or the great unknown - if you listen out for the similarities rather than the differences there's a lot of relief to be had in those meetings and through the steps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
Hi RedAndy it's good to meet you too.
Trying not to plan too much so that I don't put myself under unnecessary pressure. I plan to stay sober and plan to go to a meeting tonight. After the chaos of the last few days I need to catch up on some chores but that is about it.
Trying not to plan too much so that I don't put myself under unnecessary pressure. I plan to stay sober and plan to go to a meeting tonight. After the chaos of the last few days I need to catch up on some chores but that is about it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
Hi Beccybean.
Thanks for your post. Last night reminded me of the positives of AA and I think the penny has finally dropped that I need to keep going to meetings. In the past my unwillingness to accept that I couldn't do it alone has made it easier to stop going. I will take the advice of not worrying about the whole higher power concept and just accept the help available at the moment. Help to get through one day sober is about all I can concentrate on at the moment.
Thanks for your post. Last night reminded me of the positives of AA and I think the penny has finally dropped that I need to keep going to meetings. In the past my unwillingness to accept that I couldn't do it alone has made it easier to stop going. I will take the advice of not worrying about the whole higher power concept and just accept the help available at the moment. Help to get through one day sober is about all I can concentrate on at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Hey Toby. As you've seen already, the people here are very supportive, so keep coming back. Hope your AA meeting goes well.
If you decide AA isn't for you, come back and ask others for help. There is more than one way to skin a thing.. with skin..
If you decide AA isn't for you, come back and ask others for help. There is more than one way to skin a thing.. with skin..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by toby2159 
So I made it to an AA meting sober and returned home without stopping to buy a bottle of vodka. There has been many times in the past that I have attended a meeting drunk or certainly with drink in me. Or I have immediately left and stopped at the nearest point that sells alcohol. I intend to go to as many meetings as possible over the coming days but must not beat myself up if I fail to attend or if I take a drink. I am so glad I have found this site. Instead of heading for the alcohol this morning, I made coffee and logged in. Thank you all.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Keep going Toby. You're in the worst of it and it'll get easier day by day. Just keep it minute by minute to not drink. I found it good to go for just a 15 minute walk when the cravings got bad to take my mind off drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by toby2159
I am sitting at home with all the family asleep still and the Christmas presents waiting to be opened.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Sounds like you still have a family around. That's more than a lot of us had when we arrived here. Wishing you success with your recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
Another day sober - making 3 days. Made it to another meeting last night and left feeling positive.
During the early hours of this morning when I was chasing sleep, I logged into the forum and gained strength from posts by people suffering the same illness. It reinforced my determination to take things minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day etc.
I have a long way to go and I am going to have to deal with huge problems over the coming days, weeks and months. This forum helps me feel included and not on the fringes.
During the early hours of this morning when I was chasing sleep, I logged into the forum and gained strength from posts by people suffering the same illness. It reinforced my determination to take things minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day etc.
I have a long way to go and I am going to have to deal with huge problems over the coming days, weeks and months. This forum helps me feel included and not on the fringes.
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