Wholesome

when a thief crept into the backyard and made off with the empties while the dog slumbered on.....

Just as well I guess. I didn't want to have to make the trip to return them. And the thief must of needed the money for them more than I do.

PurpleKnight

That's intense Zen, never nice to have something taken though!!

Dee74

Hope the rest of your break is a good one Zenchaser :

D

Anna

Merry Christmas, Zen!

Wholesome

Thanks Anna and Dee. You guys are the best! I wish both of you the very very best and I'm sincerely grateful for all the work you do here! You are both the heart and soul of this wonderful, supportive place.

The creepy part about the guy in my backyard is that my bedroom leads out the patio doors into the backyard..... so he could look in and see me sleeping! I have curtains of course but where I was keeping the empties is right in front of the door and they weren't closed all the way. And I hadn't returned them in awhile so he had to make several trips. Ewwww! He must of peeped in on me too! It makes me feel kinda gross that there was a strange man at my window while I was asleep ya know?

I barricaded the backyard all up and since I'm quitting drinking (again) hopefully he won't have a reason to come back.

I'm just getting home for dinner at my sisters place. It was a lot of fun! I did end up having 2 beers. Tough time of year to abstain.

sva777

Marry Christmas and I hope you have a good plan set up if and when you decide to quit.

Wholesome

Well it was only 2. But drinking is drinking. I only decided to try again a few days ago. I know excuses, excuses.......

I'm around my family of other alcoholics who I associate drinking with and after a few hours I finally had one before the meal was served, then one more, and then we left. In particular my mother and my aunt. Once they really got lubricated I could feel myself getting more and more triggered. Plus my sister who isn't a big drinker was pretty drunk. I just wasn't strong enough. Honestly I'd even brought weed, which I don't even smoke, just in case I got too close to drinking I thought I'd smoke that instead. But I was too scared to smoke the weed because I never smoke it and I thought it would really mess me up!

Anyways I came on here and I was honest about what happened.

If I could figure it out I wouldn't be here.

ZeldaFan

Sorry to hear you had such a hard time. It's rough being around people drinking when you are the only one not doing it - especially in early recovery. You had a couple of beers. You realize why you did it. It's actually a good learning exercise for you as you now know what triggered you and you can use it to help you get a plan together to handle similar situations in the future. I'm with family right now and most of them drink moderately. The entire drive up, I worked out my plan in my head of what I was going to say if offered something and got my head to a place where I could be strong and shut down my AV. It takes time, though. You will get there! Just do what you need to do for your sobriety as you are starting out. Be selfish and take care of yourself first. You can do this!