We're all in this together
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
We're all in this together
It’s ok to feel sad at Christmas, it’s OK to feel lonely at Christmas and it’s OK to give Christmas a complete miss if that’s what you want to do.
It’s also ok to feel excited about Christmas and, if you couldn’t give two hoots one way or the other, that’s fine too.
Whatever you do this Christmas don’t buy into any of the myths.
You know how it looks like everyone (but you) has a happy family?
That’s a myth.
You know how everyone else is eating the perfectly cooked holiday meal?
That’s a myth too.
You know how everyone else is giving the perfect present or at least something the other person likes?
That’s a myth.
I believe today’s Christmas is a post-modern world mix of religion, legend, fairytale with a huge dose of commercial spin.
To me what matters most at Christmas is what you do for other people and yourself. The best gift most of us here at SR can give ourselves and those around us is sobriety.
In the last two and a half years my life, since I’ve taken drink off the table, my health, my relationships have improved immensely.
Every so often AV tells me that I “deserve” just one drink and that voice is especially insistent at Christmas time.
That’s a myth.
I deserve the life that I’ve got now.
I wish you a sober Christmas that brings you joy and peace.
It’s also ok to feel excited about Christmas and, if you couldn’t give two hoots one way or the other, that’s fine too.
Whatever you do this Christmas don’t buy into any of the myths.
You know how it looks like everyone (but you) has a happy family?
That’s a myth.
You know how everyone else is eating the perfectly cooked holiday meal?
That’s a myth too.
You know how everyone else is giving the perfect present or at least something the other person likes?
That’s a myth.
I believe today’s Christmas is a post-modern world mix of religion, legend, fairytale with a huge dose of commercial spin.
To me what matters most at Christmas is what you do for other people and yourself. The best gift most of us here at SR can give ourselves and those around us is sobriety.
In the last two and a half years my life, since I’ve taken drink off the table, my health, my relationships have improved immensely.
Every so often AV tells me that I “deserve” just one drink and that voice is especially insistent at Christmas time.
That’s a myth.
I deserve the life that I’ve got now.
I wish you a sober Christmas that brings you joy and peace.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
To experience Christmas as I did...years ago, through the eye's of a child...that is what I so long for.
It can happen. I will MAKE it happen...again !
Love to all on this Joyous Christmas season !
Merry Christmas !
DD
It can happen. I will MAKE it happen...again !
Love to all on this Joyous Christmas season !
Merry Christmas !
DD
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Nice post marcher.
I'm trying to let go of my Christmas ideals this year. I'm not making the trip to go visit my family. I have no real plans other than an AA meeting Christmas eve.
I'm in a relationship that's been struggling and I haven't had a single call or text from my boyfriend in over a week- a story I won't get further into now. But I'm wondering if things are just over. But also wondering if he'll call on Christmas.
I know that I'm just not in a good place and Christmas is looking a little lonely. I know it's a matter of perspective and it'll be easier if I don't worry about it being Christmas and just focus on being kind to myself and taking care of myself as best as I can.
Sobriety is number one for me and I'm glad I'm at a place where I don't feel obligated to do the family thing. I'm just not up for it and don't want the temptation of being around drinkers. Even though I likely wouldn't drink, I'd probably be wishing I could and that's a bad mind space.
I'm trying to let go of my Christmas ideals this year. I'm not making the trip to go visit my family. I have no real plans other than an AA meeting Christmas eve.
I'm in a relationship that's been struggling and I haven't had a single call or text from my boyfriend in over a week- a story I won't get further into now. But I'm wondering if things are just over. But also wondering if he'll call on Christmas.
I know that I'm just not in a good place and Christmas is looking a little lonely. I know it's a matter of perspective and it'll be easier if I don't worry about it being Christmas and just focus on being kind to myself and taking care of myself as best as I can.
Sobriety is number one for me and I'm glad I'm at a place where I don't feel obligated to do the family thing. I'm just not up for it and don't want the temptation of being around drinkers. Even though I likely wouldn't drink, I'd probably be wishing I could and that's a bad mind space.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Beautiful post, marcher! And absolutely true.
I still fall into place he "I have to make this perfect" trap. It seems to be waning though this year.
I've been in my home state less than 40 hours, and already been offered beer, moonshine, wine and had to buy wine for a relative. Well I didn't have to, I chose to. Because it makes her happy and she's an 84 year old normie. That bottle will probably last her a week.
A bottle of wine never lasted me more than a day.
Drinking is off the table for me too. Even if I have to "break cover" and come out as an alcoholic, I'm not going to drink. No desire, it's not who I am anymore.
Holidays are so much better sober.
I still fall into place he "I have to make this perfect" trap. It seems to be waning though this year.
I've been in my home state less than 40 hours, and already been offered beer, moonshine, wine and had to buy wine for a relative. Well I didn't have to, I chose to. Because it makes her happy and she's an 84 year old normie. That bottle will probably last her a week.
A bottle of wine never lasted me more than a day.
Drinking is off the table for me too. Even if I have to "break cover" and come out as an alcoholic, I'm not going to drink. No desire, it's not who I am anymore.
Holidays are so much better sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
It's a very nice post Marcher
My family isn't perfect but I'm going to do the best I can to enjoy their company. I'm actually looking forward to doing it all sober. My bf doesn't have a drivers liscense so even before I quit drinking I was going to have to be the driver. Now I don't have to resent it though! lol
The only tricky time will be Christmas day at my mother in- laws, there will be a lot of drinking there and it's up the street so I don't have the excuse of having to drive. I bet no one will even notice if I'm drinking pop and that it's all in my head anyway!
I sincerely hope everyone else enjoys their holidays no matter where you are in your life
My family isn't perfect but I'm going to do the best I can to enjoy their company. I'm actually looking forward to doing it all sober. My bf doesn't have a drivers liscense so even before I quit drinking I was going to have to be the driver. Now I don't have to resent it though! lol
The only tricky time will be Christmas day at my mother in- laws, there will be a lot of drinking there and it's up the street so I don't have the excuse of having to drive. I bet no one will even notice if I'm drinking pop and that it's all in my head anyway!
I sincerely hope everyone else enjoys their holidays no matter where you are in your life
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Happy Christmas Marcher. Thank you for a thoughtful post. My holiday expectations have changed and I'm accepting I'll not have a greeting card picture perfect day. But it'll be OK and I'm grateful for that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Thank you for the wonderful post Marcher.
We're well into Christmas Day here in the States (East Coast) and I'm sober! I anticipate so much leading up to the actual day but I'm working on slowing down and enjoying it all. I have come so close to picking up this season, and especially this morning I was thinking "if I can just make it to this afternoon I can have a glass." BUT I came here to read and I am now relaxing with a diet coke instead.
I don't want to rob myself or my family of any "normal" memories. They don't have to be perfect but they will be sober ones!
I hope you and Mr. Marcher had a wonderful holiday!
We're well into Christmas Day here in the States (East Coast) and I'm sober! I anticipate so much leading up to the actual day but I'm working on slowing down and enjoying it all. I have come so close to picking up this season, and especially this morning I was thinking "if I can just make it to this afternoon I can have a glass." BUT I came here to read and I am now relaxing with a diet coke instead.
I don't want to rob myself or my family of any "normal" memories. They don't have to be perfect but they will be sober ones!
I hope you and Mr. Marcher had a wonderful holiday!
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Great post, Marcher!
I am enjoying my first sober Christmas in many years and I am taking the time to savour each moment. Sobriety - best gift ever!!!!
Merry Christmas to all, whatever it means to each of us
I am enjoying my first sober Christmas in many years and I am taking the time to savour each moment. Sobriety - best gift ever!!!!
Merry Christmas to all, whatever it means to each of us
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