teatreeoil007

Ever wonder if you are sharing private info because you feel obligated?

Is it wrong or unhealthy to keep some things to yourself ; like things you are not proud of:

sleepie

Well for better or worse, I've always been a bit of an open book.
But it's totally to the individual's discretion as to what to share or not. Everyone deserves their privacy and has their boundaries.

red3215

I know what you mean. Sometimes I've felt like I should give all personal details when I'm telling a story, but I realized I don't have to, and I'm not sure where that idea came from.

You don't have to reveal anything to anyone if you don't want to. You can keep your mouth shut all the time. It's up to you. Does it help YOU to open up? That's what matters, I think.

Dee74

I think healthy boundaries are essential - and boundaries goes both ways.

If you're giving out information for no good reason that may be harmful to you or your reputation, or puts you at risk, I think you'd have a problem.

D

ScottFromWI

I think sharing anything ( public or private ) because you feel "obligated" to is probably a bad decision. I believe that honesty is key in all areas of life, but that doesn't mean sharing everything with everyone.

Soberwolf

All of the above

Elseware

What about keeping things from your counselor? Sometimes I think I scare or shock her with the depth of my feeling. There's a lot of dark stuff ( grief and screaming anger ) in me and when I sense that this disturbs her it upsets me. I feel I must protect her. This seems counter productive. This is why she gets the big bucks, isn't it? I feel I should discontinue therapy. I feel like I'm just too horrible to reveal to anyone. And then hopelessness kicks in. A vicious circle that spirals down.....

LiveInPeace

I've developed much healthier boundaries from the lack of boundaries I was given as a child. The only people I tell things to are my therapist (it took me a long time to find one I felt comfortable with) and my sponsor.

Your question makes me curious how everyone handles sharing private info at an AA meeting, especially if you're the speaker.

FormerWineGirl

LiveInPeace, Your post was very insightful. Based on the same logic, the exact opposite was true for me. Because of tight boundaries as a child, I tended to overshare as a young adult, as I was finally able to speak freely. I have since came full-circle and am much more reserved nowadays.

FreeOwl

sharing can be scary....

but if we really want to grow, evolve, heal, be helped..... then we must share with our counselors, therapists or trusted professionals.

that which we keep to ourselves we can never fully deal with.

least

The only time I am 'obligated' to share personal info is in a court of law. Other than that, it's up to me what I share with others.

Gottalife

In the context of AA, "our stories disclose in a GENERAL way".

Discretion is well advised. You never know who is listening or how they might use your personal information. The AA program most definitely does not require in depth sharing at meetings.

By our own choice we can be more open with our sponsors, and recovery requires that we must be completely open and honest with someone. But it's up to you to decide who that will be.

keeppushing

Lots of good advice here. I think though that it depends what it means:

1. Legally obligated: See Least's post.

2. Emotionally obligated: See FreeOwl's posts and https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brow...ty?language=en

3. Morally obligated: The stakeholders in your life, especially if the information can affect them, e.g. Spouse, SO, business partner, etc.

You could go on, but I just wanted to point out that obligation can mean many things.

Best of luck,

KP

FLCamper

One of the reasons I quit AA is a sponsor got upset when she found out I had a boyfriend. And when I told her I wasn't telling a room full of strangers very personal info. I think you need to know your audience before you tell too much.