I am nervous and scared.
 

I am starting to worry about our vacation, and our return. I do not want destroy all of the progress I have made since last May. I worry about a slip, leading to two slips, leading to just keeping on drinking because I want to stay lubed up and dread the process of returning to being sober (primarily mild withdrawals etc...) I know how it is, I've done it.

I also have an appointment with my Dr. on January 11th and we are going to begin the tapering process. I am scared of that as well. I made the mistake of doing some research on google. That was probably a mistake. I know there will be periods of discomfort, but I want it to be minimal and go quickly. Although I have no idea what to expect as I've never done it before. So I admit, I'm kind of scared and am feeling fearful to a degree.

Make a solid plan to follow while your on vacation and there will be nothing to worry about. You have the ability to get on SR pretty much whenever you want via a phone, and you also have the ability to leave any situation that might be overwhelming. Make sure your wife is aware of your apprehension so you can coordinate a way to leave if you need to.

Regarding the taper, don't worry about that until January 11th - there's nothing you can do about it until then anyway.

you can fire up the AA meeting finder for meetings at your destination. you're going to SoCal right? there should only be a gazillion or so to choose from.

limit your time with other drinkers. make SURE your bring your own beverages. when possible eat first. have OTHER things planned and DO them.

you don't HAVE to drink. if you have made your mind up you will NOT drink under any circumstance whatsoever and you restate that commitment to yourself daily, you should be fine. tell your wife you do not plan to drink AT ALL. not to make HER responsible, but to help you be accountable.

as i recall you are not staying WITH the family, but have your own abode. keep that a safe place.

check in with SR each morning. and each night. go to bed sober. you aren't there a month right? just a few days?

Nervous and scared to be in triggering situations might not be such a bad thing, Jeff. In a way, those emotions sound better than nonchalance and over-confidence.

You are going into a situation where in the past you have experienced days and days of drinking, especially with your alcoholic brother-in-law.

You need a solid plan in place before entering that triggering situation.

Do you have a set of responses ready to your BIL's invitations (most likely repeated and repeated invitations?) to have a drink or get loaded with him. Maybe, do some mental role-playing in advance so that you are comfortable with your responses.

Do you have a plan for activities which only you and your wife can enjoy so that you are not constantly around the triggering people and places?

Are you staying in a hotel so that you have a place to which to escape if necessary?

Do you have SR set as one of your favorites on your phone or other portable device so that you can quickly log-in to talk?

Do you have a list that you can keep handy in your pocket which sets forth the reasons you do not want to drink?

Keep your mental game sharp, Jeff; spend time when you wake up (and often during the day) reminding yourself of the importance of sobriety; remind yourself of the joys and benefits you have enjoyed in sobriety; remind yourself of the things you don't want to lose.

Have a great and sober holiday.

Safe travels, Jeff.

There is lots of good advice here, Thomas.

Stay the course and stick to your plan.

wtg Thomas.... stay in the day... I have learned to not believe everything I think... and to breath when I'm flustered... you can do it !
:c011:

Good luck Jeff completely agree with Scott's advice

Like the others have said Jeff, make a plan and stick to it. You're a very strong person and have it in you to do this. Remember how much better you will be, and how much better you will feel by not drinking.

You can make this happen Jeff.

Like Soberleigh said, being nervous and scared sounds like a good thing to me. It means that deep down you're serious about not drinking at all on this trip. Which is fantastic to hear.

The advice you've had so far has all been good. It does sound like your BIL is the big risk. But remember, there is no reason whatsoever why you have to drink with him, no matter how much he wants that. Don't head off to a bar with him planning to stick to sodas. Don't let yourself end up alone with him late at night with a bottle of whiskey (or whatever) on the table and hope your willpower holds out. His alcohol problem is his alcohol problem. The best way you can help him right now is to show him that you're strong, you're not drinking, you've changed how you live, and hopefully you can be an inspiration that maybe he could do it too. He can't make you drink. That's your choice. And you've made the choice to be sober.

Thank you everyone, I am bringing a tablet and will have access. I also have a "sanctuary space" that I can escape to and avoid any madness. I remember the condition I was in the last time I was out there, it was the worst. I will be checking in here regularly as it is my primary support system. I need to be mentally sharp and stay strong. My willpower will be tested every day. The good thing is that the house has no liquor in it. Maybe a beer or two that are over a year old. My BIL...different story. He makes a trip to get beer every day.

Lots of good counsel here, Jeff.

Whenever I got scared I cut to the bottom line - if I don't take that drink, I won't have that problem, and all my fears will not come to pass.

Regarding the taper, that's next month, man. Worrying about that too much now could be counter productive.

and...let your BIL organise someone else to get his beer.

D

You can do this Jeff!! :)