I drank
 

So much for this being my 8th day. I got a call from an old friend Saturday night asking me to meet him at our private club. I had 2 drinks there then headed for liquor store and bought a bottle of rum. Started getting really messed up and then my friend came over. He left Sunday morning and I proceeded to finish the rum and the one beer he left. I feel so ashamed. You would think I would know better. That why I stayed away from the club those days I had racking up. Why oh why???

Back to day 1 :headbange

Welcome back Garden, sorry to hear you drank. Perhaps you need to consider a more regimented sobriety plan for next time an old friend calls, or whatever other temptation rears it's head? Because temptation will always be there..it's how we react that truly matters. You should probably consider skipping clubs/bars for a while too...there are plenty of other places you can meet people that don't serve alcohol.

I just broke up with an abusive boyfriend 1-1/2 months ago he moved out. I am in the house by myself with one of our dogs he has the other dog. Saturday I was listening to a couple videos I recorded when he was being abusive. I am not sure why I was listening to them because it just made me cry and it makes me sad. I loved him a lot but he is a heavy drinker. I started drinking right before I met him 3 years ago, then it all went downhill from there.

I know Scott. It was just plain stupidity and insecurity.

The thing that really hurts is this old friend knew me when I had 13 years sober and he also knew I was on day 6 without drinking

I find it best to avoid all trigger-locations and trigger-people for at least the first three months if sobriety.
There is no point to tempt fate when your only goal is to clean yourself up.
1 week was good.. Back to day 1, chin up and go again but this time you need a new layer of insulation.

You stumbled and fell. Now you get back up, dust yourself off and start again.

You can do this Garden. We are all in this fight and journey with you.

Thanks J. I know I can do this. I did it before. This "old friend" I guess isn't really a friend or he would never have called me!

Maybe you should resign your membership from the club?
It sounds like not a good place for you to stay sober.

What else can you do to tighten your response plan to triggering situations?
Proactive action feels better than beating yourself up over what you can't change Garden.

My plan was to not engage my drinking friends at all the first three months, and
to not go to anyplace that had alcohol.
I just went to the gym, out for lunch, coffee, etc. until sobriety was more established.

I did this during the holiday season also, and I did not let that be an excuse.
It's harder, but it is do-able if you are really ready to dig in.

You can do it Garden :grouphug:

I have thought about resigning from the club. I am not sure about that because I do have a few friends that go there that don't drink. Dues day in January 10th so I have time to think about it. Just kinda lost right now.

A few friends who are well-established in their sobriety already?
That isn't you yet--maybe resign and re-join in a year when you also
are strongly established as sober.

Putting yourself at risk to drink is asking for failure--I did it for years.
Until my actions backed my mental choice to put not drinking first,
I always had a reason or situation to have" just one" which pretty much always
backfired.

Did I miss being in my old stomping grounds? Yes
Did I miss my friends and feel lonely and that life was unfair? Yes
Did I wonder what was I going to do with all that former drinking time? Yes

But you know, I started doing fun things like playing guitar and hiking.
I went to yoga classes and met healthy, non-drinking people, and life
not only got good again, but far better than it was before.

It turned out I'd always had that choice, but never really committed to it before.

Dust yourself off and get back at it. With each slip you learn a lesson and it sounds like you learned one here. I have had my fair share of slips and each has given me a new tool in my sober journey. You can do this!

Learn from this Garden I'm glad your back

insecurity maybe but stupidityNOT.

It doesn't really matter what your friends do....what YOU do matters, right? Point being, maybe taking some time off from the club would be a good idea.

I was part of a "mug club" at a local microbrewery. It was also a restaurant that plenty of people came to for the food, and not to drink. But for me it was 100% about the drinking...so I choose to not go there anymore, even for the food. At this point in my life it's just not worth it and there are plenty of other places that I can go.

Glad you're posting.....

What you did was not stupid, but a poor decision. This can be changed. In early recovery there a lot of hard choices to make. It sounds to me like staying away from the club, at least for awhile, would be beneficial. As Scott said, you need to focus on you and this is a time to be very selfish about choices you make.

A few of my friends there are in revocery. I know that's not me. I know I can't go there for awhile. If I resign I cannot get back in it is a private club. I enjoy the women's outings and summer games and most of the ladies don't drink. I will think about it I don't have to go there to pay my dues. I can mail a check. Just don't know right now. I do know I won't be going there anytime soon, so I will ponder resigning.

Thanks all for the advice :)

It might be a good idea to take some time off from the club until you are more secure in your sobriety. You would also save a few bucks on dues which would probably be nice.

I plan on staying away from the club for a longtime. Got meeting tonight at 5:30. Just cooked chicken breast in cream of chicken soup and cooked rice and a big glass of milk. Yum yum