Hopefully back for good
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Well, it's been a good day so far. Son's main present finally arrived, so breathing a sigh of relief! Work was fine. Waiting to hear from Mr. Fireman about plans tonight, but he is stuck teaching today, and where they teach he has no phone signal, so I will not hear from him till he escapes - hopefully before I am sleeping!
Hope everyone is doing well
Hope everyone is doing well
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Originally Posted by learningagain 
Well made it to day 5.
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Day 6 here...been a good day, went for breakfast with a friend, ran a few errands. Went to son's school for his party, bummer was he was not there (I knew beforehand - ex called as son is sick - sometimes he makes sense and recognizes the fact I am a nurse and may be qualified to help), but I am head room parent and did not want to let the class down. All the kids were very sweet and asking after my son (who, unlike me, is a little social butterfly and a natural with people).
Now home, a little bored, which is dangerous territory, so about to dismantle the couches and see what they have eaten recently!
Now home, a little bored, which is dangerous territory, so about to dismantle the couches and see what they have eaten recently!
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congrats on day 6 
If boredom is one of your triggers have you considered making a recovery plan to deal with that?
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
D
If boredom is one of your triggers have you considered making a recovery plan to deal with that?
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
D
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
I know I have a few triggers:
1. Dealing with my ex. He is a nightmare, not just for me. My way of dealing with this is to firstly deal with the actual problem - so keep conversations to the point. Like this morning he started bitching and complaining about the mothers of his other kids. I said "Enough, you are talking to me, we are discussing our son, anything else is irrelevant, and if you continue I will hang up". He went silent, so I simply reiterated the issue we were supposed to be talking about and continued on. I needed to take control, and need to keep doing this. I also send all his calls to vm. I get so nervous and upset and want to reach for alcohol. So, it goes to vm. If he does not leave one, it cannot be important and if he does, it gives me a chance to center and call back and deal. This has helped (I actually stopped drinking for 4 days, went back for 3, now back on 6 days sober).
2. Loneliness. I have made up "to do" lists. I always like the feeling of crossing things off lists. So, I put silly things on them. For everything I cross off, I add something. This has helped a lot. If I want a drink I have to do 3 things on my list first. If I still really think I need a drink, then I call one of my 3 confidants. If I do not go through these steps, no drink for me. I have yet to get beyond 2 things on my list before the craving is gone.
3. I have an appointment with my NP on Monday. I made it thinking I needed an SSRI (antidepressant) as I was so all over the place a few weeks ago. Amazingly I am feeling much more centered without alcohol, so I may not need a medication, but I am keeping the appointment for blood work anyway (They are concerned I have a thyroid problem) and will let her know my issues.
4. I have opened up to Mr. Fireman finally. He was really worried a month or so ago about me. Not my drinking (as I always do that alone), but he was noticing I was all over the place emotionally. He now knows a little more...the guilt I would feel because I was drinking was a huge part of my issue - now the alcohol is gone I am feeling much better.
I have also changed up my schedule...last semester I had the following:
Mon: 7:00am-5:30pm work, 8:50-10pm class
Tues: 8am-4pm work, 4:20-9pm class
Weds: 8am-4pm clinicals
Thurs: 8am-4pm work
Friday: 8am-4pm clinicals.
I work an hour drive away, and with being a single mom, I was stretched to my limits, especially adding in the issues with my son. So, I reached out, changed my work next semester to Tues 8am-5.30pm and Friday 8am-4pm, only have class Weds 4:20-9pm and then am starting my clinical hours right after new year, so I have less to cram in. I have also asked some close friends to step in with my son - he loves them, and they him, and they are happy to have "date night" so I have time to study.
Well, that is enough for now! I could go on all night!
1. Dealing with my ex. He is a nightmare, not just for me. My way of dealing with this is to firstly deal with the actual problem - so keep conversations to the point. Like this morning he started bitching and complaining about the mothers of his other kids. I said "Enough, you are talking to me, we are discussing our son, anything else is irrelevant, and if you continue I will hang up". He went silent, so I simply reiterated the issue we were supposed to be talking about and continued on. I needed to take control, and need to keep doing this. I also send all his calls to vm. I get so nervous and upset and want to reach for alcohol. So, it goes to vm. If he does not leave one, it cannot be important and if he does, it gives me a chance to center and call back and deal. This has helped (I actually stopped drinking for 4 days, went back for 3, now back on 6 days sober).
2. Loneliness. I have made up "to do" lists. I always like the feeling of crossing things off lists. So, I put silly things on them. For everything I cross off, I add something. This has helped a lot. If I want a drink I have to do 3 things on my list first. If I still really think I need a drink, then I call one of my 3 confidants. If I do not go through these steps, no drink for me. I have yet to get beyond 2 things on my list before the craving is gone.
3. I have an appointment with my NP on Monday. I made it thinking I needed an SSRI (antidepressant) as I was so all over the place a few weeks ago. Amazingly I am feeling much more centered without alcohol, so I may not need a medication, but I am keeping the appointment for blood work anyway (They are concerned I have a thyroid problem) and will let her know my issues.
4. I have opened up to Mr. Fireman finally. He was really worried a month or so ago about me. Not my drinking (as I always do that alone), but he was noticing I was all over the place emotionally. He now knows a little more...the guilt I would feel because I was drinking was a huge part of my issue - now the alcohol is gone I am feeling much better.
I have also changed up my schedule...last semester I had the following:
Mon: 7:00am-5:30pm work, 8:50-10pm class
Tues: 8am-4pm work, 4:20-9pm class
Weds: 8am-4pm clinicals
Thurs: 8am-4pm work
Friday: 8am-4pm clinicals.
I work an hour drive away, and with being a single mom, I was stretched to my limits, especially adding in the issues with my son. So, I reached out, changed my work next semester to Tues 8am-5.30pm and Friday 8am-4pm, only have class Weds 4:20-9pm and then am starting my clinical hours right after new year, so I have less to cram in. I have also asked some close friends to step in with my son - he loves them, and they him, and they are happy to have "date night" so I have time to study.
Well, that is enough for now! I could go on all night!
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Join Date: Jun 2015
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Day 7 for me. Feeling better than I have in a long, long time. More grounded. More in control of my emotions. Noticed this morning bowels are back on track, and my chronic hemmorhoid has disappeared! Yay! Skin tone also looks more even. Slept like the dead last night and woke feeling refreshed.
About to go tackle the grocery shopping. Do not need much as only me and son this year. With his tooth issue (snapped his front tooth off at the root) he is not allowed to "bite" food, just chew, so going to see what kind of dinner we will have - his request is chicken nuggets! Might crock pot something.
About to go tackle the grocery shopping. Do not need much as only me and son this year. With his tooth issue (snapped his front tooth off at the root) he is not allowed to "bite" food, just chew, so going to see what kind of dinner we will have - his request is chicken nuggets! Might crock pot something.
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Keep it up learning again! 
I just read your thread so you may have already pilled your cat, but have a couple of tips. First are Pill pockets, most cats love them, you can break the pill in half depending on size of pill and hopefully they will gobble them as a treat. Makes the pill smooth for easy swallowing too. The other thing I do is dissolve the pill in a syringe with water and then squirt in cats mouth (Not all pills dissolve or should, but have done that with a dewormer).
If you are pilling directly in cats mouth (isn't that great to get an easy piller?) it's a good idea to follow up with a little water in a syringe. The pill can get stuck in kitty's throat causing irritation. Learned that the hard way doing medical for a large kitty rescue!
Great job on sobriety! Nice benefit with better skin right? Happy Holidays!
I just read your thread so you may have already pilled your cat, but have a couple of tips. First are Pill pockets, most cats love them, you can break the pill in half depending on size of pill and hopefully they will gobble them as a treat. Makes the pill smooth for easy swallowing too. The other thing I do is dissolve the pill in a syringe with water and then squirt in cats mouth (Not all pills dissolve or should, but have done that with a dewormer).
If you are pilling directly in cats mouth (isn't that great to get an easy piller?) it's a good idea to follow up with a little water in a syringe. The pill can get stuck in kitty's throat causing irritation. Learned that the hard way doing medical for a large kitty rescue!
Great job on sobriety! Nice benefit with better skin right? Happy Holidays!
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Posts: 581
Originally Posted by Sadie1
Keep it up learning again!
I just read your thread so you may have already pilled your cat, but have a couple of tips. First are Pill pockets, most cats love them, you can break the pill in half depending on size of pill and hopefully they will gobble them as a treat. Makes the pill smooth for easy swallowing too. The other thing I do is dissolve the pill in a syringe with water and then squirt in cats mouth (Not all pills dissolve or should, but have done that with a dewormer).
If you are pilling directly in cats mouth (isn't that great to get an easy piller?) it's a good idea to follow up with a little water in a syringe. The pill can get stuck in kitty's throat causing irritation. Learned that the hard way doing medical for a large kitty rescue!
Great job on sobriety! Nice benefit with better skin right? Happy Holidays!
I just read your thread so you may have already pilled your cat, but have a couple of tips. First are Pill pockets, most cats love them, you can break the pill in half depending on size of pill and hopefully they will gobble them as a treat. Makes the pill smooth for easy swallowing too. The other thing I do is dissolve the pill in a syringe with water and then squirt in cats mouth (Not all pills dissolve or should, but have done that with a dewormer).
If you are pilling directly in cats mouth (isn't that great to get an easy piller?) it's a good idea to follow up with a little water in a syringe. The pill can get stuck in kitty's throat causing irritation. Learned that the hard way doing medical for a large kitty rescue!
Great job on sobriety! Nice benefit with better skin right? Happy Holidays!
Just back from grocery shopping, was actually pretty quiet. Bathrooms and kitchen floor on the list for today
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So had my first little test earlier. No idea why, just the voice in my head saying "you can just relax and have a few drinks tonight". Completely out of nowhere. I went to my lists and did my errands and it helped. Did not come particularly close to actually drinking, it just amazes me on a day when I am really so much better from NOT drinking, these thoughts come up.
Am heading out later, and will be driving, so that helps at least, and heading to the fire station, so no drinking there at least!
Am heading out later, and will be driving, so that helps at least, and heading to the fire station, so no drinking there at least!
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So home and enjoying a herbal tea. My head has been a little foggy tonight, like it wants to have a headache, but cannot quite manage it.
The weather is miserable now, wet and windy, so nice to be home. Was really nice to see Mr. Fireman again. We have not seen each other in around 2 months I think we worked out, with scheduling issues, and my disappearing back into the bottle. We talked a lot, just enjoyed being with each other again, it was easy and relaxed. He was talking all about plans and doing things together, which is a big step forward for him.
Now, about to head to bed, hopefully this grogginess will clear, I am beyond excited to have my son back for the Christmas break, and get to enjoy time with him. Last year my parents were here, and they are both alcoholics, so I was of the "can't beat em, join em" mindset. Relieved it is just me and son and a few select friends this year.
The weather is miserable now, wet and windy, so nice to be home. Was really nice to see Mr. Fireman again. We have not seen each other in around 2 months I think we worked out, with scheduling issues, and my disappearing back into the bottle. We talked a lot, just enjoyed being with each other again, it was easy and relaxed. He was talking all about plans and doing things together, which is a big step forward for him.
Now, about to head to bed, hopefully this grogginess will clear, I am beyond excited to have my son back for the Christmas break, and get to enjoy time with him. Last year my parents were here, and they are both alcoholics, so I was of the "can't beat em, join em" mindset. Relieved it is just me and son and a few select friends this year.
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Day 10 here for me. Had a lovely day yesterday, it was so good to be present and bask in my son's excitement (even if he did knock the tree down!). We had a lovely relaxed day, beef stew I made, got outside with his new remote controlled vehicle and read stories at bedtime.
I did not even really think of alcohol, just enjoyed my herbal teas. Today we are meeting a friend for lunch, then I think I will take him to the beach so he can try his car there (it is an all terrain one) - hopefully it will not be lost forever in Lake Erie!
I did not even really think of alcohol, just enjoyed my herbal teas. Today we are meeting a friend for lunch, then I think I will take him to the beach so he can try his car there (it is an all terrain one) - hopefully it will not be lost forever in Lake Erie!
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So, feeling a little bummed today, cannot really put a finger on why. I think the fact my stomach is off is putting me off my game. Every time I eat, I have an urgent need to get to a bathroom within half an hour. Tummy is just not feeling good at all. I am sure as this is only day 10, this is to be expected, but it is just annoying me, as needing to stay close to home.
I know from past experience, it is these times I am weakest. I never seem to give up and drink when there is a great big obvious stressor, it is always those kind of blah days.
As I mentioned in my plan, I have my "list" for these moments, so son and I have started tackling his room - it is not too bad as we only moved here 18 months ago, but before his latest presents make their way up there, I want to donate the no longer played with items.
Just got all his sheets from his bunk beds into the washer - don't know why I bother as he never will sleep in his own bed. I have been using the clean up to encourage him to get sleeping in his own room, and already the excuses have begun! However, Mr. Fireman may start staying over in the future, and I do not want son associating him with being forced to sleep in his room, so I need to get him in there! He has done periodically, but he has always tried to sleep with me. He was sexually abused very young by an older half brother, and undergoes his dads issues, so I understand his clinging to me. I think I was also clinging to him. It will be healthy for him to have "his" space. And probably best to set the stage while he is away from school.
Ugh. I just hope this blah feeling goes soon, this is always the mood where I have given up on giving up. At least I have recognized this today. I am tempted to give son my keys to hide, as with no key I cannot drive, but I do not want to annoy him....guess I will go deal with the inevitable nightmare which is putting sheets on a bunk bed - for those of you never to experience this, it is hellish!
I know from past experience, it is these times I am weakest. I never seem to give up and drink when there is a great big obvious stressor, it is always those kind of blah days.
As I mentioned in my plan, I have my "list" for these moments, so son and I have started tackling his room - it is not too bad as we only moved here 18 months ago, but before his latest presents make their way up there, I want to donate the no longer played with items.
Just got all his sheets from his bunk beds into the washer - don't know why I bother as he never will sleep in his own bed. I have been using the clean up to encourage him to get sleeping in his own room, and already the excuses have begun! However, Mr. Fireman may start staying over in the future, and I do not want son associating him with being forced to sleep in his room, so I need to get him in there! He has done periodically, but he has always tried to sleep with me. He was sexually abused very young by an older half brother, and undergoes his dads issues, so I understand his clinging to me. I think I was also clinging to him. It will be healthy for him to have "his" space. And probably best to set the stage while he is away from school.
Ugh. I just hope this blah feeling goes soon, this is always the mood where I have given up on giving up. At least I have recognized this today. I am tempted to give son my keys to hide, as with no key I cannot drive, but I do not want to annoy him....guess I will go deal with the inevitable nightmare which is putting sheets on a bunk bed - for those of you never to experience this, it is hellish!
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Feeling a little better today, we just made cookies. I have been challenged to an air hockey tournament...weather is wet and miserable, so we will just chill out at home.
I plan on stopping smoking, hoping this is my last pack. Keep coughing and it is driving me crazy!
I plan on stopping smoking, hoping this is my last pack. Keep coughing and it is driving me crazy!
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I'm glad today is a better day for you and your writings in this journal show a tremendous sense of purpose and clarity about needs/should be done in all facets of your life.
I wish you well with your continued sobriety as well as quitting smoking.
I wish you well with your continued sobriety as well as quitting smoking.
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