OfEpiphany

There are seriously moments in time that I could have done without, which are forever a part of my memory and past, and all of them were incidents when I was drunk.

Close calls that give me anxiety thinking about, of what "could have happened" and it all happened so quickly, in a handful of drunk years...

JD

Of course everyone has those. Even people who don't drink have them. Don't dwell on them. You can learn from them but don't beat yourself up over them. They happened. You can't change the past, but you can plan and prepare for the future. Focus on that.

JohnQPublic

Man do I hear that. I don't know what to cringe at most, what I remember or what I don't. Always while drunk. I really can hardly think of anything in the past ten years I regret doing that was not related to drinking. One of the ton of reasons I want to be sober.

beautifulpines

I know that horrible cringe feeling. But all I can do is stay on the sobriety path and be present.

tomsteve

yup, it happens, even quite a few years sober and doing what ive done to clean up the wreckage of my past.
couple things that help me:
lookin back is ok. staring isnt.
accept i did what i did and remind myself im not that man anymore.

rahrah

Ya...absolutely! I call them my 'cringers'. I've had 30 yrs of them and I can even remember the 1st when I was 15!!!! I can recall it and feel it's pain as if it just happened yesterday!
I used to force myself to stop thinking about them....but this time around in my attempt to stay sober, I have been forcing myself to recall them....hoping as a last resort my cringers will stop me from picking up....whatever it takes right now!

Fly N Buy

Cringers, isn't that a gluten free puffy corn snack??

I am greatful to have a way to not forget the past but also not sit in muck! It is imperative to not beat myself up any longer about the shadows of yester year.

We are all fallible humans. Clean up the past and move forward. We have rear view mirror in the car, but we don't use it (hopefully) driving down the road forward.

Grendhar

I don't like to think of my mistakes. One in particular involves me drinking way too much and calling people who had been nothing but nice to me every insulting name I could think of, then proceeding to dump blue body wash all over their walls.

They are still nice to me but I avoid them because I don't feel right around them anymore.

Eventually I hope I can forgive myself.

For now all I can do is get my life right so I don't create any more of these "memories".

totfit

I don't think anyone would be here except for that being part of the path here. I don't cringe so much anymore. I kind of look at it as all the experience that brought me to where I am at today. That thinking was also a process. It did not just happen, but with time. I can truly say, I would not go back and re-do things and the result of my today may have been totally different. I like the way things are today.

Garden1228

Gosh yes, but we can't change the past. Doesn't mean we forget but we can change with sobriety.

Zebra1275

Yep.

I was just thinking this morning of something that happened in the fall of 1978 when I was in college. I hadn't though about this in years, and I have no idea why it popped into my head this morning. And nobody in my life knows about it, and nobody from back then remembers or even cares.

I can smile about it now, but I would be embarrassed if anyone knew about it.

BrightHalo

I have so many regrets that at points wished I could assume another identity. I've done so many embarrassing things, called close family members rambling about humiliating stuff, hooked up with random guys not remembering anything, you name it. Some stuff I don't even want to say. And it's funny that I still struggle and think having one drink will be okay. I will never do that stuff again. But it's happened for so many years I've been too embarrassed to honestly look family members in the face even though they say they understand and it's cool...it was so humiliating.
I told my catholic parents I had made out with women etc. I've done horrendous crap and don't understand how my husband manages to forgive me. You're not alone!!!

Soberwolf

I had a lot of cringe moments that I used look back on nowadays I've forgiven myself I don't really look bk & cringe but more understand I was suffering badly through alcoholism sometimes I can laugh and just think did I really do that

It gets better bud hang on in there learn to forgive yourself in time

Delfin

Yes, most definitely. I allow myself to look at those moments and feel the disgust because it fuels my desire to stay sober. I will never do any of those things again because I will never drink again.

Delfin

instant

I think it helps to focus on what we can do today to live the best life we can.

I found over time, life has changed for the better. I now have more self respect, but still need to acknowledge I cannot undo my past

Dee74

Not any more

We can't change the past...I've come to terms with that, I've made amends, I've forgiven myself, I've moved on.

Thats not to say I don't regret thing, or that I don;t take responsibility for things that happened...but I no longer cringe.

I've worked hard to be 'here' not 'there'

D

Rio97

Yes, a few in particular really make me cringe. They are part of what I refer to as my demons. Dealing with those I think will go a long way towards peace of mind.

wehav2day

I haven't done anything cringeworthy in almost three years now. I've had some embarrassing moments sober, sobriety doesn't completely cure foot in mouth symdrome. But it sure helps!

I acknowledge the memories when the pop up, but don't give them a lot of weight. That's not who I am anymore

blueberry2015

I did. But being sober heals the past. Never look back your not going that way anymore x

Sean30

I could fill in a year or two of cringeworthy moments when drinking. I used to dread being told what i had done in blackouts. I eventually couldn't hear anymore.
What can I do now but try to be a student of my life and not a victim..
I can't change my past but I can damn sure change my future.