Hello. I think I need help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 5
Hello. I think I need help.
Hello
This is the first time that I have ever spoken about this but I think I need some help.
Last week I went out to dinner with a friend, upon becoming very drunk I decided that it would be a good idea to crash a party, that I was not invited to.
At that party I reigned havoc inventing stories and spreading malicious rumors without any remorse for how it might hurt or affect others.
I drank and drank and then I went home passed out and just woke up with a deep feeling of complete shame. I brushed it over and went on with my life.
Today I found out the true consequence of my actions. I hurt people and created rifts with my lies. I fear that I will never be able to recover from this. The problem is that when I drink, I lie, and invent stories which I simply cannot control. Those who do not know me take me seriously and I found out that my actions have real consequences.
The problem is I don't know where or how to start looking for help. I called the people I had spoken to and apologies for my actions, but I don't want this situation to happen again.
My father was a sever alcoholic and because of this my childhood was hard. My biggest fear is that I am becoming like him.
This is the first time that I have ever spoken about this but I think I need some help.
Last week I went out to dinner with a friend, upon becoming very drunk I decided that it would be a good idea to crash a party, that I was not invited to.
At that party I reigned havoc inventing stories and spreading malicious rumors without any remorse for how it might hurt or affect others.
I drank and drank and then I went home passed out and just woke up with a deep feeling of complete shame. I brushed it over and went on with my life.
Today I found out the true consequence of my actions. I hurt people and created rifts with my lies. I fear that I will never be able to recover from this. The problem is that when I drink, I lie, and invent stories which I simply cannot control. Those who do not know me take me seriously and I found out that my actions have real consequences.
The problem is I don't know where or how to start looking for help. I called the people I had spoken to and apologies for my actions, but I don't want this situation to happen again.
My father was a sever alcoholic and because of this my childhood was hard. My biggest fear is that I am becoming like him.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
If you are worried about becoming an alcoholic, and your drinking is causing you trouble, the solution would be to quit drinking. Coming here is a great first step.
If you are worried about becoming an alcoholic, and your drinking is causing you trouble, the solution would be to quit drinking. Coming here is a great first step.
If you get sober, none of this will ever happen again. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, Imstbt; very glad you found us.
Active alcoholism can turn us into people we don't recognize; you never have to repeat your recent experience.
Giving up alcohol and finding recovery can be life-changing and an amazingly rewarding experience.
We are here for you.
Active alcoholism can turn us into people we don't recognize; you never have to repeat your recent experience.
Giving up alcohol and finding recovery can be life-changing and an amazingly rewarding experience.
We are here for you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
Originally Posted by Imstbtbpvom 
I never thought I had a problem until today, but how do you say no when everyone is egging you on?
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Originally Posted by Imstbtbpvom
I never thought I had a problem until today, but how do you say no when everyone is egging you on?
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hello.
Shame and guilt are common for those of us with drinking problems. It can be hard to look at ourselves when we see how compromising our values has become a habit whenever alcohol seems to get involved. I've done a lot of things I'm terribly not proud of in my life. Time after time I would just redraw the line of things "I swear I would never do." Thankfully, I have found a way that not only helps me stay away from alcohol, but to learn to both heal damage that I've done and work on myself to ensure I do not break my values (as much as one can!)
For me it came at a point where I said "I need to do something, and I can't do it alone." I've found Alcoholics Anonymous, DBT(herapy) and the good people at SR helpful for me. As they say, sometimes you need "any port in a storm." Definitely encourage you to keep seeking help. We've all been there, different stories but we've converged here in kind.
Best wishes to you.
Shame and guilt are common for those of us with drinking problems. It can be hard to look at ourselves when we see how compromising our values has become a habit whenever alcohol seems to get involved. I've done a lot of things I'm terribly not proud of in my life. Time after time I would just redraw the line of things "I swear I would never do." Thankfully, I have found a way that not only helps me stay away from alcohol, but to learn to both heal damage that I've done and work on myself to ensure I do not break my values (as much as one can!)
For me it came at a point where I said "I need to do something, and I can't do it alone." I've found Alcoholics Anonymous, DBT(herapy) and the good people at SR helpful for me. As they say, sometimes you need "any port in a storm." Definitely encourage you to keep seeking help. We've all been there, different stories but we've converged here in kind.
Best wishes to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 189
Welcome to SR, Imstbtbpvom. I think you have come to the right place. Most of us, if not all, completely empathize with your situation. As others have said, alcohol shows us a person we don't know and don't want to be. I have had to deal with a lot of shame for actions I have committed while drunk. The longer you stay sober, the easier it gets. I'm only on day nine, and just being here with the SR group, talking about my feelings, reading other posts, and staying off the booze, are the exact steps we need to take to be healthy, both physically and mentally. You can recover from this. Stay strong and stay sober and you will never have to repeat what happened the other night.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
People who egg you on, when they know that it'll make you behave badly aren't with you because they're good friends and want the best for you. You can do without friends like that.
People pleasing is a bit of a common problem amongst us alcoholics - it's not good for us at all.
People pleasing is a bit of a common problem amongst us alcoholics - it's not good for us at all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
You must be my doppelganger...about 10 years ago. My alcoholism got worse from the point you are at now and I started drinking alone only....because I was afraid of what I would do or what would happen. Nice huh? For me there was only one way not to keep making mistakes and that was to stop drinking. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I lied in my blackouts too.
If I hurt someone it was nearly impossible to convince them I was lying or I didn't mean what I said.
I started drinking alone as well to avoid other people see me like that.
Xo
If I hurt someone it was nearly impossible to convince them I was lying or I didn't mean what I said.
I started drinking alone as well to avoid other people see me like that.
Xo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Last xmas I was trying to quit drinking and my boyfriend at the time knew it, but he brought over wine anyway....
Long story short, I got wasted, we got into an argument and I made him leave, he kept banging on my door, being crazy so I called the police, he got a free ride home in a police car on xmas eve.
That was the last time he brought me wine and encouraged me to drink.......
Long story short, I got wasted, we got into an argument and I made him leave, he kept banging on my door, being crazy so I called the police, he got a free ride home in a police car on xmas eve.
That was the last time he brought me wine and encouraged me to drink.......
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Yeah that is what alcohol does- it inhibits your decision making abilities. It sucks that you had to go through this, but it might be a wake up call that now is the time to change or you could quite possibly have this happen again. Whats your plan to get sober? Most of us cant "just stop" without some kind of help...
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