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Old 12-17-2015, 10:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry

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Hi everyone. Im new here and in desperate need of guidance and advice. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband was my childhood love since middle school, but we never dated until 7 years ago then married. We have 2 daughters The past 2 years have been tough- we have a lot of trouble- he has terrible anger issues and I have a terrible problem with shutting down emotionally. Fast forward to a year ago- he was arrested in front of me and toddler daughter for possession of meth.............. I stayed. He PROMISED to never touch it again .....I stayed. Over months he would stay at work around the clock, WHEN he came home it was a war zone- constant fighting......I stayed. I asked so many times and he always denied using. Finally, within the last 2 months I kicked him out 3 times because of his treatment to me ( *****, retard, evil, devil, f#%^ you, etc....) yes, these were said to me in front of my kids. Aside from the complete insanity level of his paranoia. This time, I stood my ground. His family and mine have helped me- help him in finding a rehab. He had the opportunity 3 days ago to leave but insisted he stay until Christmas so he could be with the kids that morning. I disagreed- only worried that these next 2 weeks will be so hard for him. I was proven right- he has since used at least once so far, but he promises he will leave after Christmas. He sends me messages saying " you made my life miserable and unbearable....... I am complete without you......... I don't even want to be your friend.....". I've never been so hurt. So, my question is- HOW or what is the wife side of this situation handled once he is away in rehab??????? I'm so torn. Has anyone ever been in this that can relate?
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Old 12-17-2015, 10:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Actually this is quite common around this time of year where people wait until after the new year to get into rehab, after they have ruined Christmas and New Years. The bad part is right after the new year the waiting list to get into a rehab gets drastically longer. Many rehabs have sources/programs/information for the families of addicts. I would highly recommend checking into that so you can have an understanding of what addiction is, how it effects you, and how to set boundaries.
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Old 12-17-2015, 10:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi SorroW

I'm really sorry for what brings you here - that sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in for both you and your kids.

I'm not sure what you mean thought by 'HOW or what is the wife side of this situation handled once he is away in rehab???????'

do you mean where can you find support?

This is a great place for support and understand right here. We also have dedicated family and friends forums here:

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

There are real life organisations that can help with support too, like AlAnon or NarAnon.

You are definitely not alone here

D
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Old 12-17-2015, 10:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you I will call the place to get the information.
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Old 12-17-2015, 10:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Dee74- I just meant how do I act/react with him while he is in treatment ???? I'm not even sure if we will communicate As of yesterday he tells me that he will not be coming back once he is clean, he is complete without me- but today that's not the story. I'm sooooo hurt from the awful things he says, that its hard to even talk to him much less think about how to interact with him while he ins gone. I'm so confused at hurt
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Old 12-17-2015, 10:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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It doesn't sound like you or your kids are getting much out of this relationship to be honest.

If you feel moving on is best for you & the kids, I certainly wouldn't blame you at all

D
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Old 12-18-2015, 08:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
Try your best.. eventually you'll get it
 
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^^^^^^^^^^^ 1 billion% this
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