Sherry for santa
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 48
Sherry for santa
So I'm going home for the holidays. I've been mainly sober since September. I'm so excited to go back to the uk and see my family, but they are huge drinkers and I don't want to tell them what's going on. How can I not drink? I could say I'm on medication that I shouldn't drink on...which is actually the truth. But we're talking about people that used to leave sherry out for Santa and start the day with mimosa's
/Buck's Fizz. Help!
/Buck's Fizz. Help! 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Can you go home to the UK and stay somewhere else Clarebear? That way you can determine when you are in your family home and when you leave.
As for not drinking it's so much simpler than we think "I am not drinking" works fine. Insistent people sometimes need to be told a second time, then change the topic.
I must admit I'm wondering why you want to go home if the whole thing will be non-stop drinking.
As for not drinking it's so much simpler than we think "I am not drinking" works fine. Insistent people sometimes need to be told a second time, then change the topic.
I must admit I'm wondering why you want to go home if the whole thing will be non-stop drinking.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
One of the biggest keys to getting sober for me was honesty...to myself first and those around me. If you can't be honest with your family about your drinking, you probably aren't ready to be around them and their drinking.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
If you're at all shaky in your resolve, throwing yourself into a house full of heavy drinkers for the holidays, without telling them what's going on with you and your sobriety, is pretty much saying you're going home to drink.
If you are going to go home, I think you need to be clear and upfront about the fact you aren't drinking. How much you do or don't tell about your reasons, or how permanent you say your decision is, can be on a "need to know" basis. But as it's your family, I'd try and avoid lying about it. Or worse, trying to just hope nobody notices you aren't drinking. Hopefully they won't make a big deal about it, but unless it's a very short visit, I'm sure someone is going to notice and say something. You need a plan for when they do. And one that doesn't allow for a "one small glass won't hurt" type response. Which you will get if you try the medicine approach.
If you are going to go home, I think you need to be clear and upfront about the fact you aren't drinking. How much you do or don't tell about your reasons, or how permanent you say your decision is, can be on a "need to know" basis. But as it's your family, I'd try and avoid lying about it. Or worse, trying to just hope nobody notices you aren't drinking. Hopefully they won't make a big deal about it, but unless it's a very short visit, I'm sure someone is going to notice and say something. You need a plan for when they do. And one that doesn't allow for a "one small glass won't hurt" type response. Which you will get if you try the medicine approach.
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