First post on SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by lovetolisten 
You can certainly get past Day 4 but you need to make a plan to deal with
cravings and triggers and to fill your former drinking time.
You may need to see your Doctor to get some help with withdrawals
cravings and triggers and to fill your former drinking time.
You may need to see your Doctor to get some help with withdrawals
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
Every day, go through your entire day with the thought, "I will not drink today". No matter what, I will not drink today.
Go into sobriety with the words, "I will never have a drink of alcohol ever again". If you go into sobriety with even the thought that you will someday be able to drink again, you will probably fail.
Go into sobriety with the words, "I will never have a drink of alcohol ever again". If you go into sobriety with even the thought that you will someday be able to drink again, you will probably fail.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: UT
Posts: 22
Welcome to the family Lovetolisten. I've been drinking for years, but it steadily got worse. I was up to drinking everyday, binging on the weekends and starting Mondays off feeling like crud. I finally said enough and so far it's been 7 days for me. The first 3-4 days were tough, but I visit this site 2-3 times a day, if for nothing else but to inspire me to keep going. Good luck, you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,343
Originally Posted by lovetolisten
Do others find a link between active addiction and decision making? It's not even about making bad decisions (besides the drinking one), I can't make a decision about anything - not complicated or simple - because it seems like I feel so different about things each day
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Welcome lovetolisten! I am no expert on sobriety either, being in early days (Day 3) of another attempt to go clean. First one did not quite make it past a week.
But like you I realised I was slipping rapidly away from the "functioning" part of "functioning alcoholic". I kept at it for 15 years ... going from binge drinker at social functions to weekend drinker to daily drinker. Controls (very similar to yours) would come and go and come and go.
I have damaged my career most certainly but never overtly enough that there was a wake up call. Only suspicions that people knew (I'm sure they did), promotions I missed, plum assignments I never got etc.
But the fall that I won't be able to ignore (and the shame that comes with it) will be inevitable. The longer I go on, the more I will have to lose. Not to speak of the damage I have done to my health.
Oh - to be your age again and to have your realisation that you seriously have a problem with alcohol and that you must stop. It's actually a good thing.
Hang around these forums to get ideas. Consider seeing a doctor and being completely open with him or her.
People here are lovely and supportive and understanding. Share and be open to their support!
But like you I realised I was slipping rapidly away from the "functioning" part of "functioning alcoholic". I kept at it for 15 years ... going from binge drinker at social functions to weekend drinker to daily drinker. Controls (very similar to yours) would come and go and come and go.
I have damaged my career most certainly but never overtly enough that there was a wake up call. Only suspicions that people knew (I'm sure they did), promotions I missed, plum assignments I never got etc.
But the fall that I won't be able to ignore (and the shame that comes with it) will be inevitable. The longer I go on, the more I will have to lose. Not to speak of the damage I have done to my health.
Oh - to be your age again
and to have your realisation that you seriously have a problem with alcohol and that you must stop. It's actually a good thing.Hang around these forums to get ideas. Consider seeing a doctor and being completely open with him or her.
People here are lovely and supportive and understanding. Share and be open to their support!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
And just to be clear - I'm not suggesting you wait till you're older and have more to lose - when I think about the life I've thrown away it fills me with a deep shameful regret that I have to not think about to ensure I can still carry on. Please don't wait any longer now you're had your realisation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Thank you - I know 100% that it is just going to get worse, and I do want to quit while I am still somewhat ahead. I had 6 months of sobriety when I was 26 and feel like I have wasted years by not sticking with it. On Day 4 - have not made it to Day 5 for about a year, so this is a big week for me. Feeling pretty good. Mourning that I am never going to be that girl who consistently has 2-3 drinks and stays fully in control. That experiment has failed and will continue to fail. I probably spent hours giving myself a pep talk about how I wouldn't drink last Friday. I planned it out and had a resolve, which then I decided meant I could have 2 or 3. Eight drinks later, still drunk at 8 a.m. the next day, with another injury from falling, and puking my guts out. If that isn't alcoholism, I don't know what is.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Glenhaven WA
Posts: 8
I'd say if you usually feel like drinking after an AA meeting, maybe you should avoid them. I also feel the pull when I attend them, I am 50 days sober today and I haven't been to a single meeting. I have read just about every word on this site though, it is a powerful source!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 165
hey lovetolisten - I am on Day 4 (similar to you) and I have a similar story to you in terms of drinking progression. You could be me so you are definitely not alone and it is great that you have found this site. If you ever want to chat further, I'd be keen
Keep it up
Keep it up
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Originally Posted by lovetolisten
Thank you - I know 100% that it is just going to get worse, and I do want to quit while I am still somewhat ahead. I had 6 months of sobriety when I was 26 and feel like I have wasted years by not sticking with it. On Day 4 - have not made it to Day 5 for about a year, so this is a big week for me. Feeling pretty good. Mourning that I am never going to be that girl who consistently has 2-3 drinks and stays fully in control. That experiment has failed and will continue to fail. I probably spent hours giving myself a pep talk about how I wouldn't drink last Friday. I planned it out and had a resolve, which then I decided meant I could have 2 or 3. Eight drinks later, still drunk at 8 a.m. the next day, with another injury from falling, and puking my guts out. If that isn't alcoholism, I don't know what is.
you have done quite a bit of self-reflection and you should be very proud of yourself for seeking help. I am struck by your comment that you know it will only get worse from here. I challenge that with it will only get worse from here if you DO drink. By remaining sober, you are walking the path to a better life.If you haven't already, I would highly recommend joining the December Class. It can helpful to have the support from others who are in the same stage as you. It is also a great place to turn when you have cravings.
You sound absolutely dedicated to staying sober and I wish you all the best!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
For many years I also considered myself a "functioning alcoholic". Actually that gave me comfort, it allowed me to acknowledge my drinking problem but to ask that as long as I am functioning whats the problem? Non functioning would be a problem, but sure everyone drinks. This allowed me to continue drinking and ignoring the slide.
Actually, I think now there is only alcoholic or not alcoholic. And if you have a problem controlling your drinking then you are an alcoholic. For me, that leaves little space for the AV to hide. Hard to talk yourself around it. It demands action.
You are struggling to control you drinking there fore you are an alcoholic by this simple black and white view of the world. So, that means stop drinking or continue your slide towards a very dark place indeed.
Drinking messes you up in many ways mentally. You know all about anxiety and depression I am sure....well, decision making belongs comfortable in there. How can you make consistently good decisions if your head is all over the place? Your drinking kind of seems where mine was 10 years ago or so, it would be a really great time to quit. But you are going to go all the way and 100% or the AV will keep nabbing you.......
Actually, I think now there is only alcoholic or not alcoholic. And if you have a problem controlling your drinking then you are an alcoholic. For me, that leaves little space for the AV to hide. Hard to talk yourself around it. It demands action.
You are struggling to control you drinking there fore you are an alcoholic by this simple black and white view of the world. So, that means stop drinking or continue your slide towards a very dark place indeed.
Drinking messes you up in many ways mentally. You know all about anxiety and depression I am sure....well, decision making belongs comfortable in there. How can you make consistently good decisions if your head is all over the place? Your drinking kind of seems where mine was 10 years ago or so, it would be a really great time to quit. But you are going to go all the way and 100% or the AV will keep nabbing you.......
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