I found a reason
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
I found a reason
My, Abstain Journey (First week)……….
Friday December 2015 Mod 2 Motorbike test, final test of the 5 tests needed!
Friday Failed Mod 2 by one stupid mistake!!! Previously on Mod 1 test a similar thing happened where I forgot for a split second what I was doing, but luckily got away with it, so with the same weird loss of concentration for a very short one second made me think something was wrong. After the Mod 2 failure I returned home with 4 x bottles of 7% - 8% cider (the usual), I drank all that plus another bottle of 8% I had in the house. During the evening all my family had gone out so I decided to put a film on, but could not find the remote and I threw the coffee table in the air!!! Another un-characteristic event. Just before I went to bed I had a vision, the reason I nearly messed up Mod 1 and did mess up Mod 2 was partly due to being an Alcoholic 3-4 bottles of 7% - 8% cider every day minimum, and that I am not 100% confident with complex road situations in the town I did the test.
Saturday Success: I did not touch a drop of alcohol and did not tell anyone my plan to abstain forever. Symptoms, headache (most probably from last night). I now drink sugar free pop! I had to find things to do to keep me occupied, not difficult when you think about it.
Sunday Success: Same again, still got a hangover feeling headache at front of head, and weird sudden hot flush and sweating for very short periods, also feeling now and again of an irritation on my skin, almost like a small insect on my body in a couple of places, itchy. Interestingly today it’s our 18th wedding anniversary, and for my present my wife had bought me high strength decent quality cider!!! Temptation overcome. Sugar free pop not pleasant and surprisingly sweet from the fruit sugars, so now drinking flavoured sparkling water.
Monday Success: Same again, same symptoms as before remain but sweating stopped, a new symptom starts of a muscle in my upper left arm that was damaged years ago and not working started to rapidly twitch in a convulsive way, uncontrollable by me, it would stop if I touched it, but would start again. Started taking Omega-3 tablets and Vitamin B tablets. Flavoured sparkling water still in use.
Tuesday Success: Same again, only symptom remaining is a headache. Still not tempted. Still taking Super Omega-3 EPA/DHA tablets and Vitamin B tablets. Starting to feel less stressed and more relaxed when stressful situations arise! Now trying no added sugar Bitter lemon, very nice, similar feel of high strength dry cider I was used to, but with no alcohol. I also told my wife that I have not drank for 4 days when she asked if I wanted any cider from the supermarket, the look in her face was ‘seeing is believing’.
Wednesday: Success: Still got headache all day, still taking vitamins etc. still drinking bitter lemon. Evening got bored so found many enjoyable things to do.
Thursday: Success: Headache was like a heavy hangover this morning, this is the worst I have felt all week, took Aspirin. Took Nurofen in afternoon that seemed to calm the headache down, still drinking tea and water. Evening was good found things to occupy my brain, quite relaxing. Still drinking Bitter Lemon. Wife said she was proud of what I am doing even though she has been asking me for years to reduce my alcohol consumption.
Friday: Success: Headache again like a hangover, took Nurofen. Easily stressed this morning. Headache continuous, Nurofen slightly reduces it. All week my dreams have been very different to before, not horrible just different. Feeling healthier and more alert but still feel I’m hung over getting a lot of things done, feeling happy!
What I think of when I need to re-confirm why I am doing this:
1) My dreams for a long time are to pass my motorbike test and to give up alcohol, and the alcohol has contributed to failing my dream of passing my motorbike test.
2) I rarely fail any challenge, partly because I will (wrongfully) not take part unless I am very confident in winning! Therefore there must be an underlining reason I failed! Maybe my body is telling me; “You need to give up the pop before I let you get your motorbike licence dream or else you will never give up drinking and it will kill us both either by alcohol killing our body or causing you to kill us on the motorbike.”
3) My wife does not drink and does not like alcoholism at all, I have been very lucky she has tolerated me for so long.
4) My kids often say that I drink too much alcohol, most probably via school education and TV.
5) I want to live longer with as full a brain and body function that I can achieve.
6) How great it will be to pop out on the bike or in the car without thinking “have I drank yet?”
I notice how much promotion of alcohol is shown discretely on TV, for example, a series usually has a pub involved and if things get stressful they go to the pub, or “we deserve a drink for that work we done”, “I need a break, let’s go to the pub”, “A well-deserved drink”, “I’ve had enough, I’m off to the pub”, etc. They all seem to suggest drinking alcohol will solve all your problems, it doesn’t it just masks them. Even most chat shows glorify drinking with their guests.
Some say that 1 in 3 of us are alcoholics even though most will perform their job of work fine and not be seen as an alcoholic and then it becomes acceptable, just like I was.
How much money will I save? I spent at least £5 a day minimum and had to work out daily when and where to buy it, looks bad if I had loads of bottles/cans in the house or shed! So I bought daily, this also prevented me carrying on drinking, if I had 8 cans I would drink 6 or 8.
365 days a year = Minimum £1,825.00 Very nice!!! Realistically more like £2,000.00
What I am worried about:
1) How will I cope under high stressful situations or boredom? Drink or not drink?
2) How will I cope at Xmas and New Year & social meetings? Drink or not drink?
3) Will I ever pass my motorbike test? Only if I stop drinking for ever.
thanks SR
Friday December 2015 Mod 2 Motorbike test, final test of the 5 tests needed!
Friday Failed Mod 2 by one stupid mistake!!! Previously on Mod 1 test a similar thing happened where I forgot for a split second what I was doing, but luckily got away with it, so with the same weird loss of concentration for a very short one second made me think something was wrong. After the Mod 2 failure I returned home with 4 x bottles of 7% - 8% cider (the usual), I drank all that plus another bottle of 8% I had in the house. During the evening all my family had gone out so I decided to put a film on, but could not find the remote and I threw the coffee table in the air!!! Another un-characteristic event. Just before I went to bed I had a vision, the reason I nearly messed up Mod 1 and did mess up Mod 2 was partly due to being an Alcoholic 3-4 bottles of 7% - 8% cider every day minimum, and that I am not 100% confident with complex road situations in the town I did the test.
Saturday Success: I did not touch a drop of alcohol and did not tell anyone my plan to abstain forever. Symptoms, headache (most probably from last night). I now drink sugar free pop! I had to find things to do to keep me occupied, not difficult when you think about it.
Sunday Success: Same again, still got a hangover feeling headache at front of head, and weird sudden hot flush and sweating for very short periods, also feeling now and again of an irritation on my skin, almost like a small insect on my body in a couple of places, itchy. Interestingly today it’s our 18th wedding anniversary, and for my present my wife had bought me high strength decent quality cider!!! Temptation overcome. Sugar free pop not pleasant and surprisingly sweet from the fruit sugars, so now drinking flavoured sparkling water.
Monday Success: Same again, same symptoms as before remain but sweating stopped, a new symptom starts of a muscle in my upper left arm that was damaged years ago and not working started to rapidly twitch in a convulsive way, uncontrollable by me, it would stop if I touched it, but would start again. Started taking Omega-3 tablets and Vitamin B tablets. Flavoured sparkling water still in use.
Tuesday Success: Same again, only symptom remaining is a headache. Still not tempted. Still taking Super Omega-3 EPA/DHA tablets and Vitamin B tablets. Starting to feel less stressed and more relaxed when stressful situations arise! Now trying no added sugar Bitter lemon, very nice, similar feel of high strength dry cider I was used to, but with no alcohol. I also told my wife that I have not drank for 4 days when she asked if I wanted any cider from the supermarket, the look in her face was ‘seeing is believing’.
Wednesday: Success: Still got headache all day, still taking vitamins etc. still drinking bitter lemon. Evening got bored so found many enjoyable things to do.
Thursday: Success: Headache was like a heavy hangover this morning, this is the worst I have felt all week, took Aspirin. Took Nurofen in afternoon that seemed to calm the headache down, still drinking tea and water. Evening was good found things to occupy my brain, quite relaxing. Still drinking Bitter Lemon. Wife said she was proud of what I am doing even though she has been asking me for years to reduce my alcohol consumption.
Friday: Success: Headache again like a hangover, took Nurofen. Easily stressed this morning. Headache continuous, Nurofen slightly reduces it. All week my dreams have been very different to before, not horrible just different. Feeling healthier and more alert but still feel I’m hung over getting a lot of things done, feeling happy!
What I think of when I need to re-confirm why I am doing this:
1) My dreams for a long time are to pass my motorbike test and to give up alcohol, and the alcohol has contributed to failing my dream of passing my motorbike test.
2) I rarely fail any challenge, partly because I will (wrongfully) not take part unless I am very confident in winning! Therefore there must be an underlining reason I failed! Maybe my body is telling me; “You need to give up the pop before I let you get your motorbike licence dream or else you will never give up drinking and it will kill us both either by alcohol killing our body or causing you to kill us on the motorbike.”
3) My wife does not drink and does not like alcoholism at all, I have been very lucky she has tolerated me for so long.
4) My kids often say that I drink too much alcohol, most probably via school education and TV.
5) I want to live longer with as full a brain and body function that I can achieve.
6) How great it will be to pop out on the bike or in the car without thinking “have I drank yet?”
I notice how much promotion of alcohol is shown discretely on TV, for example, a series usually has a pub involved and if things get stressful they go to the pub, or “we deserve a drink for that work we done”, “I need a break, let’s go to the pub”, “A well-deserved drink”, “I’ve had enough, I’m off to the pub”, etc. They all seem to suggest drinking alcohol will solve all your problems, it doesn’t it just masks them. Even most chat shows glorify drinking with their guests.
Some say that 1 in 3 of us are alcoholics even though most will perform their job of work fine and not be seen as an alcoholic and then it becomes acceptable, just like I was.
How much money will I save? I spent at least £5 a day minimum and had to work out daily when and where to buy it, looks bad if I had loads of bottles/cans in the house or shed! So I bought daily, this also prevented me carrying on drinking, if I had 8 cans I would drink 6 or 8.
365 days a year = Minimum £1,825.00 Very nice!!! Realistically more like £2,000.00
What I am worried about:
1) How will I cope under high stressful situations or boredom? Drink or not drink?
2) How will I cope at Xmas and New Year & social meetings? Drink or not drink?
3) Will I ever pass my motorbike test? Only if I stop drinking for ever.
thanks SR
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Varadero 
I found all the things I used to worry about not drinking at - Xmas, parties, weddings etc - all were better for me (and everyone else concerned) when I was sober.
It's scary perhaps to stand out from the crowd but after a while it became like a badge of honour to me.
I can be the man I want to be - or I can drink - but not both
I found all the things I used to worry about not drinking at - Xmas, parties, weddings etc - all were better for me (and everyone else concerned) when I was sober.
It's scary perhaps to stand out from the crowd but after a while it became like a badge of honour to me.
I can be the man I want to be - or I can drink - but not both
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Congratulations on one week+ sober varadero
Stressful situations are not improved by drinking and usually it makes things worse. It sounds like you have the support of your wife and children which is great ( they wouldn't ask you to stop if they didn't care about you)
I'm sure if you stay sober you will pass your motorbike test
Stressful situations are not improved by drinking and usually it makes things worse. It sounds like you have the support of your wife and children which is great ( they wouldn't ask you to stop if they didn't care about you)
I'm sure if you stay sober you will pass your motorbike test
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
Still not had a drink ;-) 11 days in, still got the headache, but feeling positive and in control. I am due to take my motorbike test very soon and I wonder if I pass will AV kick in and I then start drinking? I know if I fail I will definitely not drink, but at £200 a test it gets expensive. I did ask my wife if someone asked her to give them £1000 and they will guarantee your husband will stop drinking forever, would you pay it? she said definitely. It will be interesting what happens if I pass or fail, will AV start messing with my head!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by JK130 
Yes, of course av will be around whether you pass or fail. You can plan for it, just like you are doing now. Well done!
Good luck with your motorbike test.
Good luck with your motorbike test.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Well done on 11 days!
One way to help make sure passing your test doesn't trigger you drinking again, is to remove passing the test as a motivation for staying sober. Failing the test helped finally motivate you to quit, but clearly there was more going on with it than that. Your wife wouldn't be saying she'd pay £1000 to guarantee you never drink again if her only worry was whether you'd pass your test or not. Your kids aren't saying you drink too much because of wanting you to pass the test. Living a healthier life, with a clearer head (once that damn headache goes!) has nothing to do with motorbikes.
So say thank you to that failed test for giving you the wake up call you needed, and now take it right out of the drinking discussion completely. You want to pass because you want to ride your motorbike. Don't give it any more significance than that.
One way to help make sure passing your test doesn't trigger you drinking again, is to remove passing the test as a motivation for staying sober. Failing the test helped finally motivate you to quit, but clearly there was more going on with it than that. Your wife wouldn't be saying she'd pay £1000 to guarantee you never drink again if her only worry was whether you'd pass your test or not. Your kids aren't saying you drink too much because of wanting you to pass the test. Living a healthier life, with a clearer head (once that damn headache goes!) has nothing to do with motorbikes.
So say thank you to that failed test for giving you the wake up call you needed, and now take it right out of the drinking discussion completely. You want to pass because you want to ride your motorbike. Don't give it any more significance than that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Is your headache possibly from not being hydrated enough? I know you mentioned a lot of soda.
But I guess I had a headache at first too for a few days to a week after I stopped drinking. I did however, buy a lot of pedialyte (childs rehydration drink- much better for you than gatorade) and that helped a lot. Might want to up the intake of water. You are supposed to drink half your body weight in ounces of water a day. So if you weigh 150 lbs you are supposed to drink at least 75 oz of water a day.
But I guess I had a headache at first too for a few days to a week after I stopped drinking. I did however, buy a lot of pedialyte (childs rehydration drink- much better for you than gatorade) and that helped a lot. Might want to up the intake of water. You are supposed to drink half your body weight in ounces of water a day. So if you weigh 150 lbs you are supposed to drink at least 75 oz of water a day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
Thank you all for your gr8 support, I have started taking rehydrate fluid, but yesterday my work colleague asked if I was going to the xmas party (pub & meal), I said no, then told him I had stopped drinking and educated him a bit, I never mentioned the motorbike (dis-associated), but in the evening AV try to get me, very different to what I expected, it was if somethink was trying to upset me from within, so I went on line listened to some motivational speeches on YT, about dreams and quitting etc. all very good, then listened to some songs, felt better but still within I could feel AV's presence, good news is I never had a drink didn't even crave for a drink, how strange or very clever of AV, and no one else was in the house.
In the morning I had a terrible headache and weak hangover feeling and was a little bit grumpy. AV is very deceitful, beware!
My wife came home from Stars Wars later when I was in bed.
In the morning I had a terrible headache and weak hangover feeling and was a little bit grumpy. AV is very deceitful, beware!
My wife came home from Stars Wars later when I was in bed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
Past my motorbike test today! pouring with rain and very windy riding I hour to the test center, then 1 hour practice then just before the 1 hour test started the rain stopped and the sun came out ;-)
17 days now with zero alcohol, and I still say to the beast "I will never drink alcohol again".
Thanks for all your great advice, rehydrate helped alot, no headache today, but have one now. Interestingly my wife asked me what do I want to do regarding alcohol in the house for xmas? I said I would love to have alcohol in the house so I have something to offer our guest, I do not want you or anyone to hide while you drink. Confront thy demons!!!
I will stay in touch and hopefully give hope to others. AVRT is my method to continue.
17 days now with zero alcohol, and I still say to the beast "I will never drink alcohol again".
Thanks for all your great advice, rehydrate helped alot, no headache today, but have one now. Interestingly my wife asked me what do I want to do regarding alcohol in the house for xmas? I said I would love to have alcohol in the house so I have something to offer our guest, I do not want you or anyone to hide while you drink. Confront thy demons!!!
I will stay in touch and hopefully give hope to others. AVRT is my method to continue.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Fantastic news that you passed your test. And for 17 days sober. And for not connecting the two
One thing I'd say about your wife's question. I didn't ask my wife to take alcohol out of the house, but that was because I didn't find her glass of wine with dinner was triggering my AV, but if you find having booze around makes your own AV go out of control and you're struggling, don't be too proud to ask if your wife could remove the booze again. You don't get any extra sobriety points for how many obstacles you make yourself overcome. Take the easy approach if at all possible.
One thing I'd say about your wife's question. I didn't ask my wife to take alcohol out of the house, but that was because I didn't find her glass of wine with dinner was triggering my AV, but if you find having booze around makes your own AV go out of control and you're struggling, don't be too proud to ask if your wife could remove the booze again. You don't get any extra sobriety points for how many obstacles you make yourself overcome. Take the easy approach if at all possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 24
25 days sober, got through xmas not too badly, had 2 bottles of very good Port and red wine and a few bottles of very nice local cider for xmas, didn't drink any, quite nice to have drink in the house to offer guests for a change.
Over the weekend the AV did start to play up a bit, headaches got bad, woke up in the night had to go for a coffee and a read before I went back to bed, still drinking the bitter lemon. My Scottish uncle was surprised and said "You weren't an alcoholic", but son't alot of people think that of themselves!
Over the weekend the AV did start to play up a bit, headaches got bad, woke up in the night had to go for a coffee and a read before I went back to bed, still drinking the bitter lemon. My Scottish uncle was surprised and said "You weren't an alcoholic", but son't alot of people think that of themselves!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
