Still not sure I have a problem
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink." Or "What's the use anyhow?"
that was written over 70 years ago, so what youre experiencing isnt very unique. had it happen myself time and time again.
fear of what would happen if i didnt stop drinking outweighed the fear of sobriety for me and helped me get the courage to get into action.
The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink." Or "What's the use anyhow?"
that was written over 70 years ago, so what youre experiencing isnt very unique. had it happen myself time and time again.
fear of what would happen if i didnt stop drinking outweighed the fear of sobriety for me and helped me get the courage to get into action.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates very clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly indicates very clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 27
Thanks for the support everyone, the fact that for the first time I don't feel alone in this due to this site is making a huge impact on how I'm handling things...
Every time "those" feelings creep up, wether it's fear that I may never have another drink, or the shame the "flashbacks" bring, or completely feeling overwhelmed I get on this site and read,read,read...
I use to just stick my head in YouTube and try to numb my mind from my own thoughts but that's obviously never worked... Reading the personal experiences and advice and encouragement that this site provides inspires me to not give up... Day 3 almost done.. Went to my doctors app got a plan in place to start seeing drug and alcohol counsellor (although I nearly backed out of going to my app if I didn't have to meet my sister there I would have bailed) ....
So thanks for the support I'm still here, I still haven't had a drink and I still haven't had a absolutely major break down... But the fear of the unknown sober life is still there
Every time "those" feelings creep up, wether it's fear that I may never have another drink, or the shame the "flashbacks" bring, or completely feeling overwhelmed I get on this site and read,read,read...
I use to just stick my head in YouTube and try to numb my mind from my own thoughts but that's obviously never worked... Reading the personal experiences and advice and encouragement that this site provides inspires me to not give up... Day 3 almost done.. Went to my doctors app got a plan in place to start seeing drug and alcohol counsellor (although I nearly backed out of going to my app if I didn't have to meet my sister there I would have bailed) ....
So thanks for the support I'm still here, I still haven't had a drink and I still haven't had a absolutely major break down... But the fear of the unknown sober life is still there
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 323
Awesome!!! So glad you made it through today 
let's weather the storm. It's going to be worth it. If we can stay sober we will look back on this time in not to long with far more strength. Congrats on making it through the day
Sean
let's weather the storm. It's going to be worth it. If we can stay sober we will look back on this time in not to long with far more strength. Congrats on making it through the day Sean
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
Hello Bettalife,
I woke up in a sweat 8 days ago(last night drinking). I feel your pain. You will be successful because you are not alone.
"unknown sober life" scares me a bit too. If you are in a large city try googling "sober meet up." I'm trying to meet folks in AA to enjoy activities with. If that doesn't work I know there are lots of people that enjoy life and don't drink....I just don't know any right now.
Best wishes
I woke up in a sweat 8 days ago(last night drinking). I feel your pain. You will be successful because you are not alone.
"unknown sober life" scares me a bit too. If you are in a large city try googling "sober meet up." I'm trying to meet folks in AA to enjoy activities with. If that doesn't work I know there are lots of people that enjoy life and don't drink....I just don't know any right now.
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Bettalife 
But the fear of the unknown sober life is still there
one thing that kept me trudging and working on myself?
fear of life with alcohol still in it, which i wasnt living, just existing.
ODAAT
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,466
I know the fear of the unknown is a tough one. I felt that I would be moving into territory that was foreign to me. But, I was losing everything and I had to take the leap of faith that it would be okay. Have faith that you can do this.
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