Alcohol ruined me for life
Just a nerd
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
Alcohol ruined me for life
Hey guys, I'm new here. I'm 26, fresh off of alcohol (today's the third day) and I'm running the gamut of emotions; on one side, I'm so thankful that I've realized I can't drink anymore, yet on the other side I'm feeling like my best days (which were never fantastic anyway) are gone.
As a brief background to this rant, I've had social anxiety since I was in first grade, didn't start dating until I was 18, and never got drunk until I was old enough to buy my own drinks (21, in the States). Since the age of 21, my late-blooming life has been a downward spiral; my anxiety and phobias have gotten progressively worse, my weight has ballooned, and a few relationships were ruined. One therapist I had been seeing a few months ago speculated that alcohol and self-medication was probably a major factor... but of course I wasn't ready to listen at the time, because she offered me all sorts of horribly canned advice from the start.
Fast-forward to now, I've realized that I haven't felt optimistic or even excited about life in the past 5 years, and I see the direct correlation between drinking and sinking deeper into the hole. It's also tough being conscious and aware of good health but not taking the steps to get there due to preoccupations with getting drunk and escaping the darkness that lives inside on a temporary basis.
This leaves me with a few questions for the good people of SR:
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
Thanks for listening to my rant. You're the best.
As a brief background to this rant, I've had social anxiety since I was in first grade, didn't start dating until I was 18, and never got drunk until I was old enough to buy my own drinks (21, in the States). Since the age of 21, my late-blooming life has been a downward spiral; my anxiety and phobias have gotten progressively worse, my weight has ballooned, and a few relationships were ruined. One therapist I had been seeing a few months ago speculated that alcohol and self-medication was probably a major factor... but of course I wasn't ready to listen at the time, because she offered me all sorts of horribly canned advice from the start.
Fast-forward to now, I've realized that I haven't felt optimistic or even excited about life in the past 5 years, and I see the direct correlation between drinking and sinking deeper into the hole. It's also tough being conscious and aware of good health but not taking the steps to get there due to preoccupations with getting drunk and escaping the darkness that lives inside on a temporary basis.
This leaves me with a few questions for the good people of SR:
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
Thanks for listening to my rant. You're the best.
Resident Awesome Guy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
First off... Welcome!
Now, i have been dealing with anxiety, depression, and bi-polar tendencies for many years now. I can tell you the drinking absolutely effected and strengthened these problems. Once i was able to get my meds in order, i was finally able to make my mind up that i was done drinking. Since then, my anxiety is under control, the depression is gone, and i can regulate my mood. Life is going to have its ups and downs no matter what. The best thing is that i am sober to deal with whatever it throws at me. Lastly, i think i am a much better person now then when i was drinking. I am a better friend, father, husband, and all around human being. I care about others instead of just being wrapped up in my own mind. I hope you stick around and keep reading and posting on SR. Good luck!
Now, i have been dealing with anxiety, depression, and bi-polar tendencies for many years now. I can tell you the drinking absolutely effected and strengthened these problems. Once i was able to get my meds in order, i was finally able to make my mind up that i was done drinking. Since then, my anxiety is under control, the depression is gone, and i can regulate my mood. Life is going to have its ups and downs no matter what. The best thing is that i am sober to deal with whatever it throws at me. Lastly, i think i am a much better person now then when i was drinking. I am a better friend, father, husband, and all around human being. I care about others instead of just being wrapped up in my own mind. I hope you stick around and keep reading and posting on SR. Good luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Welcome DeathBox 
absolutely - but it's an older me that I'd completely forgotten about - this me hadn't seen the light of day for maybe 30 years.
It's the authentic me - quieter than the party monster, and wiser than the drunken idiot, and ...it's a me I love, not one I hate
Quite often, but not everyday LOL.
Some days are a trudge - I think thats true of everyone else on the planet...but even the hard days I feel optimistic and glad to be alive.
I know that a good day invariably follows a bad day or two "_
I had anxiety issues before I even took my first drink, so yeah I had to deal with a lot of anxiety - most of us do.
It took a little work and a little time, but I worked on my anxiety - some counselling, some breathing exercises, & some simply facing and solving problems and becoming more confident in myself and my abilities.
I'm the least anxious I've ever been right now.
Life is good. I can't recommend getting sober and staying that way highly enough DB
D
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
It's the authentic me - quieter than the party monster, and wiser than the drunken idiot, and ...it's a me I love, not one I hate
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
Some days are a trudge - I think thats true of everyone else on the planet...but even the hard days I feel optimistic and glad to be alive.
I know that a good day invariably follows a bad day or two "_
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
It took a little work and a little time, but I worked on my anxiety - some counselling, some breathing exercises, & some simply facing and solving problems and becoming more confident in myself and my abilities.
I'm the least anxious I've ever been right now.
Life is good. I can't recommend getting sober and staying that way highly enough DB
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 165
Hey, I'm on day 1 and totally get where you are coming from. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 16 (am 30 now!) and drinking has been s coping mechanism for me. I'm often seduced by the escapism factor and love the way it makes me feel on top of the world. Of course, this never lasts and the hangovers are awful and it definitely makes me more anxious and depressed - viscous cycle!
I don't believe your best days are over. You are still really young and I think if you can stay sober from now and make it work - you will experience your best days that are still to come. I'm aware that time is a ticking and i dont want to waste another second of it being drunk and sad.
Be good to chat sometime X
I don't believe your best days are over. You are still really young and I think if you can stay sober from now and make it work - you will experience your best days that are still to come. I'm aware that time is a ticking and i dont want to waste another second of it being drunk and sad.
Be good to chat sometime X
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
Welcome
I'm 27 and take meds for anxiety and depression so I can definitely relate. I'm newly sober and there's been a lot of things which suck about my drinking life. The anxiety and depression is helped short term by the booze but once I have one, I can't and don't want to stop, plus sobering up sucks as I feel even worse.
The one thing I would say is that although early sobriety is often hard, last time I was sober for a long period of time, I started feeling 100% better within 2-3 weeks. I don't know if that's how long it took for my meds to kick back in after being rendered useless by the booze, but it got better.
Message me anytime if you need to talk
X
I'm 27 and take meds for anxiety and depression so I can definitely relate. I'm newly sober and there's been a lot of things which suck about my drinking life. The anxiety and depression is helped short term by the booze but once I have one, I can't and don't want to stop, plus sobering up sucks as I feel even worse.
The one thing I would say is that although early sobriety is often hard, last time I was sober for a long period of time, I started feeling 100% better within 2-3 weeks. I don't know if that's how long it took for my meds to kick back in after being rendered useless by the booze, but it got better.
Message me anytime if you need to talk
X
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 73
The old me did come back, it was the old me before I started drinking every night, the good "old me". I am so glad he is here.
My life is amazing since I quit drinking. I can do WHATEVER I want now. I have complete control, and that is something I didn't have in 10+ years.
Anxiety is tough, you're going to have give yourself a few months of really really working on your sobriety, a lot of these issues have a way of working themselves out.
Be well my friend.
My life is amazing since I quit drinking. I can do WHATEVER I want now. I have complete control, and that is something I didn't have in 10+ years.
Anxiety is tough, you're going to have give yourself a few months of really really working on your sobriety, a lot of these issues have a way of working themselves out.
Be well my friend.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Glad you're here, welcome!
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
Old me was selfish, unteachable and had much contempt prior to investigation of new people, places and things. An evolution is indeed taking place, but at 18 months it would be naive to think that other guy is totally gone..........
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
I am"excited" about each day as I awake, yes - The opportunity of today and the simple joys it may bring. Even in hardship, clarity of thought is present and I am available for the moment for whatever life brings.
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? Not really - It was mostly fear based and a lot of that is gone. At times I suppose but I have tools to deal with these blips. If something causes me anxiety I take action today rather than pontificating how different things can be. Part of that is my season in life though and skills acquired over time.
Thanks for the thoughtful thread!
Keep coming back, friend
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
Old me was selfish, unteachable and had much contempt prior to investigation of new people, places and things. An evolution is indeed taking place, but at 18 months it would be naive to think that other guy is totally gone..........
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
I am"excited" about each day as I awake, yes - The opportunity of today and the simple joys it may bring. Even in hardship, clarity of thought is present and I am available for the moment for whatever life brings.
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? Not really - It was mostly fear based and a lot of that is gone. At times I suppose but I have tools to deal with these blips. If something causes me anxiety I take action today rather than pontificating how different things can be. Part of that is my season in life though and skills acquired over time.
Thanks for the thoughtful thread!
Keep coming back, friend
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
The old me was a scared depressed anxious mess. I got a new me instead when I got sober.
My anxiety is so much better now that I'm sober.
I am happy with my life now. I never get tired of waking up feeling good.
My anxiety is so much better now that I'm sober.
I am happy with my life now. I never get tired of waking up feeling good.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Welcome, great post generating a good discussion!
I can't really add much to the good stuff already posted, but I'd like to add my assurance that stopping drinking will have a positive effect on everything. Might take a bit of time and maybe a struggle, but so worth it.
Be well and good luck x
I can't really add much to the good stuff already posted, but I'd like to add my assurance that stopping drinking will have a positive effect on everything. Might take a bit of time and maybe a struggle, but so worth it.
Be well and good luck x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
1. No. The old me did not come back..... Thank God, because the old me was a drunk. The new me is someone I'd actually want to be friends with... Good friends, in fact.
2. YES! Even the bad days are good days , by comparison. So the good days now are pretty amazing.
3. When I was drinking I had anxiety so bad my heart felt like it was exploding out of my chest 24/7. I was paranoid and developed fears over the craziest things. These days I'm not afraid .
I highly recommend sobriety. You won't be sorry.
2. YES! Even the bad days are good days , by comparison. So the good days now are pretty amazing.
3. When I was drinking I had anxiety so bad my heart felt like it was exploding out of my chest 24/7. I was paranoid and developed fears over the craziest things. These days I'm not afraid .
I highly recommend sobriety. You won't be sorry.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
There was a lot in my "old" life that I am glad disappeared, so much chaos as a result of alcohol that has drifted into my past, Sobriety is a great foundation for building a life upon, I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone who feels alcohol is affecting their life.
It's important to remember that life still rolls on even in Sobriety, there aren't going to be eternal good days, there's still going to be curve balls, some bad days, some stressful days, it's not a solution to everything, but instead as I have mentioned it creates a great foundation to build a life, and that's the reality, we then have to go out and live our lives and be who we want to be, but trust me it's a whole lot easier without a hangover in the morning, with better health, with no more obsessing about your next drink, and more money in your pocket.
As with anxiety, there were a lot of things that I needed to sort out within myself when I got Sober, so much I'd simply wanted to drink away that hadn't been dealt with, but with a clear head progress can be made.
Sobriety for me wasn't a destination it was the opportunity to begin rebuilding my life!!
There was a lot in my "old" life that I am glad disappeared, so much chaos as a result of alcohol that has drifted into my past, Sobriety is a great foundation for building a life upon, I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone who feels alcohol is affecting their life.
It's important to remember that life still rolls on even in Sobriety, there aren't going to be eternal good days, there's still going to be curve balls, some bad days, some stressful days, it's not a solution to everything, but instead as I have mentioned it creates a great foundation to build a life, and that's the reality, we then have to go out and live our lives and be who we want to be, but trust me it's a whole lot easier without a hangover in the morning, with better health, with no more obsessing about your next drink, and more money in your pocket.
As with anxiety, there were a lot of things that I needed to sort out within myself when I got Sober, so much I'd simply wanted to drink away that hadn't been dealt with, but with a clear head progress can be made.
Sobriety for me wasn't a destination it was the opportunity to begin rebuilding my life!!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Welcome
1) A different me came back. A New and improved version who was the real me all along.
2) I don't know if excited is the right word. Serene, content, satisfied, glad to be sober and alive. Looking forward to whatever adventure the day holds.
3) Anxiety is something I still battle but it has gotten so much better. I have found my anxiety is based on my fears. When I work on my fears the anxiety is just a symptom
1) A different me came back. A New and improved version who was the real me all along.
2) I don't know if excited is the right word. Serene, content, satisfied, glad to be sober and alive. Looking forward to whatever adventure the day holds.
3) Anxiety is something I still battle but it has gotten so much better. I have found my anxiety is based on my fears. When I work on my fears the anxiety is just a symptom
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
The old me came back. I have a good life and often feel excited about life. I've had varying degrees of social anxiety all my life. Since quitting drinking my anxiety has become much more manageable, and now it seldom interferes with my regular day too day life. I hope you are able to get sober because you will be very pleasantly surprised at the rewards. If you give your all to sobriety work you not only can get your old self back but you can also get a lot more.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 94
Welcome to the forums!
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
Yes and the non-drinking me is a much more level-headed, calm and thoughtful individual, and every bit as interesting as the drinking me.
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
All the time, particularly early in the morning when I wake up fresh, rested & without a hangover. What a pleasure! Yes there are down days/weeks but they seem minor now, compared with the past.
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
Trying to 'drown out' anxiety is likely one of the leading causes of drinking & other addictions. Ironically of course alcohol and other drugs provide a very temporary and false sense of relief from anxiety. It all comes roaring back and gets worse. Every sober person remembers those nights waking up at 3:00A in a cold sweat with anxiety simply coursing through your mind and body. I have personally experienced substantially reduced levels of anxiety since quitting drinking about 6 months ago; a little bit every now and then but totally manageable. For me exercise helps a lot (running, working out, biking) and it helps to have various hobbies and interests and to actively seek out friendship and work on improving family ties.
Best of luck to you and please lean on us any time for our opinions for what they are worth...
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
Yes and the non-drinking me is a much more level-headed, calm and thoughtful individual, and every bit as interesting as the drinking me.
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
All the time, particularly early in the morning when I wake up fresh, rested & without a hangover. What a pleasure! Yes there are down days/weeks but they seem minor now, compared with the past.
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
Trying to 'drown out' anxiety is likely one of the leading causes of drinking & other addictions. Ironically of course alcohol and other drugs provide a very temporary and false sense of relief from anxiety. It all comes roaring back and gets worse. Every sober person remembers those nights waking up at 3:00A in a cold sweat with anxiety simply coursing through your mind and body. I have personally experienced substantially reduced levels of anxiety since quitting drinking about 6 months ago; a little bit every now and then but totally manageable. For me exercise helps a lot (running, working out, biking) and it helps to have various hobbies and interests and to actively seek out friendship and work on improving family ties.
Best of luck to you and please lean on us any time for our opinions for what they are worth...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 42
Before I answer your questions I do have a piece of exciting news for you: You are most definitely not ruined for life, you have so many exciting things ahead of you! I am only 32, but I wish I had wised up at the age of 26 like it seems that you are. It is hard to see beyond what is happening in the moment, especially when we are still reeling from the effect alcohol has had on us, but you will be amazed at the changes you will see in your relationships with others and the way that you feel about yourself once you get a little further along in your sobriety.
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
It did, but a modified version that has been shaped by the life lessons and experiences that I have undergone over the past few years. I love the person that I have become and so do my friends, family, and coworkers. Me 2.0 is the productive member of society that I was always meant to be!
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
I really do. I can not emphasize enough how different I feel about my life since I quit drinking. I still have crummy days, I still get frustrated and angry, and I am still overwhelmed at times too, but those are all part of the human experience. The difference now is that I am actually capable of handling those feelings and can do things to improve my life, instead of being numb and letting my problems compound.
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
I do struggle with anxiety, especially the health related variety. It seems to ebb and flow throughout the year and can really be a burden at times and something I don't even notice at others. I am still learning how to deal with my anxiety; exercise has been my preferred means of taking my mind off of things. I am sure that this is something I will continue to deal with, maybe even for the rest of my life. I don't love that I have to deal with this, but I can take solace in the fact that I am actually capable of dealing with it now instead of pretending like the problem will eventually go away as I drink myself to death.
Best of luck to you moving forward.
1) Did the 'old-you' ever come back when you quit drinking?
It did, but a modified version that has been shaped by the life lessons and experiences that I have undergone over the past few years. I love the person that I have become and so do my friends, family, and coworkers. Me 2.0 is the productive member of society that I was always meant to be!
2) Do you often feel excited about life since quitting drinking?
I really do. I can not emphasize enough how different I feel about my life since I quit drinking. I still have crummy days, I still get frustrated and angry, and I am still overwhelmed at times too, but those are all part of the human experience. The difference now is that I am actually capable of handling those feelings and can do things to improve my life, instead of being numb and letting my problems compound.
3) Does anyone else have anxiety issues on here? I'd love your input!
I do struggle with anxiety, especially the health related variety. It seems to ebb and flow throughout the year and can really be a burden at times and something I don't even notice at others. I am still learning how to deal with my anxiety; exercise has been my preferred means of taking my mind off of things. I am sure that this is something I will continue to deal with, maybe even for the rest of my life. I don't love that I have to deal with this, but I can take solace in the fact that I am actually capable of dealing with it now instead of pretending like the problem will eventually go away as I drink myself to death.
Best of luck to you moving forward.
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