Rip me if you want
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
If this were me (it's not, I know), It would be the thin end of the wedge and I can't afford that, being a sober person is way too precious. Like mecanix said, I would fear "losing another 10 years somewhere".
Up to you though.
x
Up to you though.
x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Jeff,
For me Sobriety was all about separating the events from the drinking, in my mind they aren't one in the same thing, or dependant upon each other, that's one of the huge hurdles soo many newcomer threads are asking, the whys, the hows of dealing with occasions without alcohol and I find myself responding with encouragement that it can be done.
On the lead up to Xmas I've had to follow my own advice, work Xmas events, birthdays, there's going to be Xmas day itself, New Years, throughout this year there were birthdays, weddings, there was indeed even a funeral I attended, and being from Ireland there's always the drinking day of the year, St Patrick's day to contend with Sober.
There's always something, I would never have ever gotten Sober if I was waiting until the next occasion, or couldn't separate the event from the drinking.
Sobriety I think, if someone really needs to follow that path in life is indeed compatible with life, again it's something I find myself responding to threads with many times a day, it has to be, because it is possible for people to experience life, and every occasion and event without the need for alcohol.
No one is saying sit in the house for ever more, instead experiences can still be enjoyed or be just as meaningful without a glass in hand, everyone does not drink, and there are always people at events who are Sober for various reasons, and that can be reality for us without taking away from the enjoyment, the meaning or the occasion.
For me Sobriety was all about separating the events from the drinking, in my mind they aren't one in the same thing, or dependant upon each other, that's one of the huge hurdles soo many newcomer threads are asking, the whys, the hows of dealing with occasions without alcohol and I find myself responding with encouragement that it can be done.
On the lead up to Xmas I've had to follow my own advice, work Xmas events, birthdays, there's going to be Xmas day itself, New Years, throughout this year there were birthdays, weddings, there was indeed even a funeral I attended, and being from Ireland there's always the drinking day of the year, St Patrick's day to contend with Sober.
There's always something, I would never have ever gotten Sober if I was waiting until the next occasion, or couldn't separate the event from the drinking.
Sobriety I think, if someone really needs to follow that path in life is indeed compatible with life, again it's something I find myself responding to threads with many times a day, it has to be, because it is possible for people to experience life, and every occasion and event without the need for alcohol.
No one is saying sit in the house for ever more, instead experiences can still be enjoyed or be just as meaningful without a glass in hand, everyone does not drink, and there are always people at events who are Sober for various reasons, and that can be reality for us without taking away from the enjoyment, the meaning or the occasion.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
running with the liquid devil - until once more we find ourselves
Originally Posted by thomas11 
Some things eclipse "a couple drinks". Tonight was one of them.
sometimes even fools themself into thinking that
I'm probably not a real alcoholic
so we drink and drink and all seems to be just fine
until once more we find ourselves living in the pit of hell.
Been there so many times that I lost count long ago.
MB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
Yo tomjeff, we're just sharing Our exp. Me personally? cannot, for one more second entertain the thought. seems you nourished it a bit before acting. I, we have all done the same thing. Just trying to say you don't have to go there again. detoxing sux.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Jeff,
I posted on the thread where you told us how proud you were of your drinking on the hunting trip (the fact that other people drank lots and you didn't drink as much).
I said that you would almost certainly then have a few at Christmas, since that had gone so well for you. Then maybe a few more at New Years, because loads of people would be drinking a lot more than that. And it would escalate from there.
You didn't even make it to Christmas. It sounds like you didn't even last a week. With one of the worst AV excuses I've seen on here. You drank because it was "meaningful". Wow. I mean, just, wow.
I'm not judging you. As people keep saying, coming on this forum for people who want to quit drinking is completely voluntary. You chose to come here and post about your experiences with alcohol. We've all read your past posts so know what will happen to you when your drinking escalates, which it absolutely certainly will, because it's already happening. You've already lost control even if you can't see it yet (though I suspect you can or else why are you seeking to justify it to us?). And none of us wants that to happen. But it's your choice.
So the question now is, what do you want from us? You're certainly not the first person on here to decide they can moderate after being sober for a while. Usually they disappear, then come back a few months, or years, later after reaching a new rock bottom. You're one of the few to give us a drink by drink account of your descent back into Hell, which may be useful for some to see, though during these early stages it might be triggering for some (for anyone who does feel that way, just read his early posts for a quick fast forward to the ending).
Personally, I just feel sad. Sad that someone with so much potential is so determined to throw his life away like this. I'm not prepared to give up hope that somehow you can snap out of it, and stop before it's too late, but you're not giving us much hope for that right now. It looks like you've made your mind up that you're going to be that mythical "former alcoholic who is now happily moderating his drinking" guy. The guy nobody has ever actually met, but a friend of a friend's cousin's sister knows him. In the mean time, I'm going to go watch Titanic again. I figure if I watch it often enough, at some point the ship is bound to miss that damn iceberg.
I posted on the thread where you told us how proud you were of your drinking on the hunting trip (the fact that other people drank lots and you didn't drink as much).
I said that you would almost certainly then have a few at Christmas, since that had gone so well for you. Then maybe a few more at New Years, because loads of people would be drinking a lot more than that. And it would escalate from there.
You didn't even make it to Christmas. It sounds like you didn't even last a week. With one of the worst AV excuses I've seen on here. You drank because it was "meaningful". Wow. I mean, just, wow.
I'm not judging you. As people keep saying, coming on this forum for people who want to quit drinking is completely voluntary. You chose to come here and post about your experiences with alcohol. We've all read your past posts so know what will happen to you when your drinking escalates, which it absolutely certainly will, because it's already happening. You've already lost control even if you can't see it yet (though I suspect you can or else why are you seeking to justify it to us?). And none of us wants that to happen. But it's your choice.
So the question now is, what do you want from us? You're certainly not the first person on here to decide they can moderate after being sober for a while. Usually they disappear, then come back a few months, or years, later after reaching a new rock bottom. You're one of the few to give us a drink by drink account of your descent back into Hell, which may be useful for some to see, though during these early stages it might be triggering for some (for anyone who does feel that way, just read his early posts for a quick fast forward to the ending).
Personally, I just feel sad. Sad that someone with so much potential is so determined to throw his life away like this. I'm not prepared to give up hope that somehow you can snap out of it, and stop before it's too late, but you're not giving us much hope for that right now. It looks like you've made your mind up that you're going to be that mythical "former alcoholic who is now happily moderating his drinking" guy. The guy nobody has ever actually met, but a friend of a friend's cousin's sister knows him. In the mean time, I'm going to go watch Titanic again. I figure if I watch it often enough, at some point the ship is bound to miss that damn iceberg.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
There are a million excuses to drink. Just no good ones. Drink, don't drink you are an adult and the choice is and always will be yours.
For myself and the vast majority of those here, drinking is not an option
For myself and the vast majority of those here, drinking is not an option
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
I would be fine with a couple drinks at a party. It may even work 2-3 times. But then at some point I think I need a drink before I go out or I need to keep drinking when I get home. Please be careful playing with fire.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by mecanix
My experience was that these unmissable social occasions got more frequent over time and my consumption went up .
Eventually i made the step to i'll just have one with dinner and started at home again ,
a month later it was two very large glasses ,
a few weeks later why not finnish off that bottle seems daft to leave half a glass in the bottom ,
then i bought three bottles for the week and ended up drinking them in one night ..
then another 10 years went by somewhere .
My experience and understanding is if you leave the door open just a crack , it is still open ..
I closed the door , i'm never opening it again .
Bestwishes, m
Eventually i made the step to i'll just have one with dinner and started at home again ,
a month later it was two very large glasses ,
a few weeks later why not finnish off that bottle seems daft to leave half a glass in the bottom ,
then i bought three bottles for the week and ended up drinking them in one night ..
then another 10 years went by somewhere .
My experience and understanding is if you leave the door open just a crack , it is still open ..
I closed the door , i'm never opening it again .
Bestwishes, m
I had a few weeks or months sober then had a couple of drinks at a special occasion. I was proud as I just had a few, wasn't stupid and could obviously handle it. So I did it again, I was ok right? happened a few times until inevitably it became more frequent and back to square one.
No one is having a go at you - just pointing out the dangerousness of your thinking. If you have a problem drinking anything is never a good idea. We can always make excuses as to why we should drink but there is never a valid reason.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by thomas11
It was social, and meaningful.
I won $50 on a coin flip yesterday. All I had to do was wager $10,000 and call 'heads'. It came up heads, so I won the $50.
Since I won that makes it a great bet, right? I am wise and proud of how I handled that bet.
We don't have to rip on you. Your AV already has you under its thumb.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
Jeff - If you're fine with having a few, why are you posting here?
There are other forums for moderation. Please only post here if you are trying to stop drinking entirely out of respect for those who are trying to stay sober.
There are other forums for moderation. Please only post here if you are trying to stop drinking entirely out of respect for those who are trying to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Why post about it?
You don't want our input, we've talked for nearly a year and spent a lot of our time trying to encourage you and you come on here and basically throw all that in our faces? You came from a very low place and had started to turn a corner. Your early threads - when you were drinking - are those of a pretty disturbed person.
Personally, I won't spend any more of my very little time left on this planet reading about your escapades.
Good luck to you. I think this is a very low thing to do. Not the drinking, but continuing to seek "support" for it considering your history here.
You don't want our input, we've talked for nearly a year and spent a lot of our time trying to encourage you and you come on here and basically throw all that in our faces? You came from a very low place and had started to turn a corner. Your early threads - when you were drinking - are those of a pretty disturbed person.
Personally, I won't spend any more of my very little time left on this planet reading about your escapades.
Good luck to you. I think this is a very low thing to do. Not the drinking, but continuing to seek "support" for it considering your history here.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Originally Posted by mecanix
My experience was that these unmissable social occasions got more frequent over time and my consumption went up .
Eventually i made the step to i'll just have one with dinner and started at home again ,
a month later it was two very large glasses ,
a few weeks later why not finnish off that bottle seems daft to leave half a glass in the bottom ,
then i bought three bottles for the week and ended up drinking them in one night ..
then another 10 years went by somewhere .
My experience and understanding is if you leave the door open just a crack , it is still open ..
I closed the door , i'm never opening it again .
Bestwishes, m
Eventually i made the step to i'll just have one with dinner and started at home again ,
a month later it was two very large glasses ,
a few weeks later why not finnish off that bottle seems daft to leave half a glass in the bottom ,
then i bought three bottles for the week and ended up drinking them in one night ..
then another 10 years went by somewhere .
My experience and understanding is if you leave the door open just a crack , it is still open ..
I closed the door , i'm never opening it again .
Bestwishes, m
It's so sneaky, I don't even see it coming.
Let that door open just a crack and next thing I know that beast is right back in and I'm on the floor wondering what the hell happened.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
So you're making this argument: For life to be meaningful, it must include social drinking.
Either that, or this is goading, as Dee said earlier.
Both are nonsense. How many social (moderate, not alcoholic) drinkers out there would make that argument? Social drinkers don't go out of their way to justify drinking. They take it or leave it. And I doubt they come onto a recovery forum and gloat about it later.
Either that, or this is goading, as Dee said earlier.
Both are nonsense. How many social (moderate, not alcoholic) drinkers out there would make that argument? Social drinkers don't go out of their way to justify drinking. They take it or leave it. And I doubt they come onto a recovery forum and gloat about it later.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Thomas, you need to decide how important alcohol is in your life . Maybe you are not an alcoholic and you can have a few. However, if you are an alcoholic you are going to very rarely be able to consume just a few drinks. Is drinking really that important to you? Honestly look at yourself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Have you read the big book at all?
Sounds like your chasing the illusion of drinking like gentleman. I wish i could and part of me knows I can. But its not worth risking the affects of alcoholism to drink like a gentleman. Whatever the hell that means is in the eye of the beholder.
Sounds like your chasing the illusion of drinking like gentleman. I wish i could and part of me knows I can. But its not worth risking the affects of alcoholism to drink like a gentleman. Whatever the hell that means is in the eye of the beholder.
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