sorrysoul

I don't even know where to begin, I am so depressed right now. I recently tried quitting dope but just keep going back for more. I'll be determined to quit one minute and the next I can't stop thinking about it and what I can do to get it. I hardly ever even get high anymore. I haven't been on in a few weeks as I went back to using, if I can even call it that where I didn't go more than a day. I want to quit so bad but at the same time I don't. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no will power what so ever. My husband recently got into some legal trouble so he has been staying at the dealers house, who also hspprns to be good friends of his so I have been visiting there and they are all always doing it along with other people staying there and it makes it that much harder but it's the only way I can see him. Sorry rambling like I usually do.. Just so depressed right now and need to vent. I don't know what to do I just want it to end. Thanks for listening/reading if you made it this far.

strategery

It's good to see you back.

Have you thought about what steps you need to take to get sober, such as narcotics anonymous, outpatient or inpatient rehab?

sorrysoul

Thought about it yes, haven't actually done anything.
Considered going to an NA meeting but scared to take that step and go.
Can't be any worse than living like this though.

sorrysoul

Thought about it yes, haven't actually done anything.
Considered going to an NA meeting but scared to take that step and go.
Can't be any worse than living like this though.

Coldfusion

At NA you will find people who understand your problems, and a program to get your life back together.

ScottFromWI

I think you just answered your own question. It won't end of you don't do anything about it. Quitting is hard work, but like anything in life worth having it is time well spent.

What exactly scares you about going to NA? Write it out if it helps you.

PurpleKnight

Willpower didn't get me far either, the problem was my addiction would eventually grind me down, my own mind wanted to drink and in isolation with nothing to counter all the great and wonderful reasons why drinking was a good idea, that's what I would return to time after time.

Support and a plan was what made all the difference, something to keep me focused on the task at hand, and something to give me a second opinion on what my addicted my mind was trying to convince me of.

You can do this, but some action, something new, no matter how small is the way forward!!

Soberwolf

My sisters go NA, CA & AA it saves thier lives everyday bud

Nonsensical

That's called addiction. I know, I was ate up with it.

Next time you can't stop thinking about it get out a piece of paper and pen and write down the 5 worst things will happen to you if you don't get some pot. I found this to be a very calming exercise. Helps get the mind out of it's anxious state and more focused on real thinking.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Chrissy58

Thanks for sharing that is great advice.

sorrysoul

Thanks everyone for your support,

NA just scares me because I'm already anti people to begin with.. And then I'll have to ya know, admit I'm a loser in real life. To someone other than me.

Ugh I dunno, but complaining isn't getting me anywhere. At least it hasn't yet ha.

I have looked up where the local NA meetings are.. I think I will just suck it up and go... Come to think of it one is tomorrow yikes.. But payday is coming! So much confliction in my brain. Depressing.

least

Be brave, and go to the meeting.

ubntubnt

Absolutely you should go. everyone feels nervous before their first AA or NA meeting but really there is no need to be. What you will find is a room full people struggling with the same issues you are. And half that room will have been sober a long time and will full of useful advice and support for you.
You have so many negative thoughts in your head right now that just the act of getting up and doing something proactive and positive will help. Trust me I think there is a 75% chance that you will be happy you attended and another 24% chance that you will say it is one of the best decisions you ever made. They are pretty good odds.

TheRake

dope as in H?

sorrysoul

Yeah dope as in H, sorry.

TheRake

No it's what I thought you meant but then someone said 'pot'

are you mainling or smoking?

SoberLife90

Just like you said "Suck it up and go". Could be the best decision you ever make.

Dee74

Whatever you decide, do something..thinking about what you should do isn't a recovery plan, though a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that it is - including me, several times.

Do something - take some steps, make some changes

you really can change your life, regardless of what your drug of choice is/was

D