ashamed
 

I am ashamed to say that I drank two nights ago but I did, right back to my binging habits. It was midnight and I was alone, my wife was staying in the city. For some reason I decided to drive to 711 and buy a six pack of beer. Drank that and a bottle of wine my wife had been saving. Woke up and went to buy another six pack. Now I am hungover and feel awful, not sure what happened, I was almost a year sober. I guess a good part is I didn't enjoy any of the drinking and definitely don't enjoy how I feel right now. Back to day one. Put my plan back together and attend a meeting.

(((Big hug))) to you

We all understand how this just happens, out of the blue. Oddly, I tend to do it when I'm happy....I sabotage myself.

I'm so glad to hear you didn't enjoy the drinking. New day starts today.

"For some reason."

I would suggest that you dig into that reason. Loneliness? Hunger? Anger? Tired? There was some thought pattern that you got into before you drank. Can you sit down and journal about it so you will have a plan next time?

Can you get to a meeting Sva there's choice

I relapsed more times than I'd like to admit. But with the support of my counselor and my friends here, I didn't give up, I kept trying until I finally 'got it'. Don't give up! :)

I will try tonight but I feel pretty miserable still.

Glad you're ok and going to a meeting........ Remember what the Big Book explains - pg 43 - "The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."

Did you consider posting before you drank or calling sponsor/friend in AA?? We have to learn to pick up that 900 lb phone and call someone......


Keep working!

I did try calling my wife but her phone was off. My whole body feels like it went through the ringer.

Hi I'm so happy on your year that is a miracle everyday an alcoholic does not drink. I picked up after a year and basically put myself through hell for another 3 years. You have courage acknowledging that you are powerless over alcohol today is a new day and your growth will continue ! Thank you for posting and being honest that is real recovery ! Also the previous poster wisdom hit it on the button. There will come a time no human power will keep us away from a drink but they give us faith a higher power willl in the BB just glad your safe and honest thank you for sharing:c011:

One night I was feeling a little restless, irritable and discontented and had thoughts of drinking. I couldn't envision myself picking up the phone and calling an AA friend saying - hey, I am thinking about drinking. It seemed implausible to me - part ego, part would anyone really care?

Instead I just started texting 4-5 folks from AA. How are you? Hope your doing well!> one or two I sent a joke. An hour went by with several ongoing "conversations". I made it through the urge/thought without even bringing up the fact I might drink.

I prayed, meditated and remembered the tools in my kit. I got through it - and it passed.

Next time, you PM me or post here, friend = open 24.7

Thanks for that I will remember to do that.

Don't feel too bad, don't even think about it, just hop back on the band wagon and try your best all the time to stay on.

You were still sober for almost a year, all of those days healed your physical brain, and all that healing will not be offset by 2 days of drinking.

Hey sva I hope your doing ok. It's good that you didn't enjoy the drinking at least! Hope you get back on track again

True, the sober time will never go away. I am starting to feel better, been hanging out in bed all day so far with my two cats.

Glad you are feeling better sva. I do what fly n by did - texting people in AA non stop. I've done it several times and it does help. I also want to say, without being a jerk, calling your wife once doesn't count. My husband, who is struggling with sobriety, does that when he's having an urge. He knows that I almost never have my phone on so it's a gimme that I won't answer. Were you giving yourself permission to drink?

I hope you continue to feel better. Keep posting.

I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you're back sva :)

I agree with Bim...there's something behind this...I have faith you can find out what it is, and make the necessary tweaks to your recovery programme :)

D

Hey sva777, sorry to hear that bud. Thankful to hear you stopped and are on the mend. You got my support, 100%.

I wish this awful hangover would go away. Sobriety is so much better.

I'm glad you're back and hope that you're continuing to feel better. :hug:

Was it that your wife was gone that triggered you picking up? When my husband goes out of town, it is a massive trigger for me. Even before he leaves, it crosses my mind. However, one of the things that has helped, is ratting myself out ahead of time to others here, so I am accountable and it's worked great.

I also know SMART has a relapse prevention plan that Fini gave me a link to awhile back. It is pretty awesome too, so you might want to check it out. You can come out of this even stronger than you were. :hug:

If you can find that link it would be awesome.