Originally Posted by dwtbd

Jeff, you should quit drinking , coz you suck at being drunk, at least what I've seen from you when posting when you were drinking. Alcohol is everywhere it would be easy to go off the rails for anyone at anytime, easier still if you (anyone) drinks.
I quit because I suck at being drunk too. Hope you see your way to a better solution, you deserve it, you sound like a real good guy.
Wish you well

Originally Posted by ScottFromWI

I don't think you are being honest with yourself, even in this paragraph. You aren't interested in moderation, yet you drank twice "socially" this past weekend and also the weekend before that....and you supposedly "learned" from that experience. Go back and read your threads if it helps you see, you are purposefully and willingly drinking again. Maybe not every day or binging, but that is the next stop on the train if you don't make some serious changes.

Originally Posted by Delfin

I'm sad to read that you drank, Jeff, but I'm even sadder to see that you're minimizing this episode, as you did the last one. As Dee said, we're a community, and we don't want to see anyone heading in the wrong direction. I hope you'll think about all of the advice and concern on this thread and do the work needed to keep this from happening again.

Delfin

Originally Posted by OpenTuning

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear your hunting trip was such a complete and utter disaster for you.

"What?" I hear you say. "It wasn't a disaster, everyone around me was getting smashed, and I only drank in moderation. (Just had the two, officer). I stayed in control. I feel proud of myself. It went really well. Didn't you read my post?"

And that view is of course why it was a complete, unmitigated disaster for you. Your AV is smart. It isn't interested in winning a minor battle, it wants to win the war. And this makes its ultimate victory far, far more likely. You've now laid the groundwork for a few drinks over Christmas. Maybe 3 or 4, since having 2 was fine on the hunting trip. And New Years? You'll probably decide you can push that up to 5 or 6 since everyone else will be having loads more than that. You'll show how in control you are by not getting too drunk and waking up without a hangover. Or not much of one. That'll be something to be proud of. Etc, etc, etc, etc.

I've been trying to figure out why I care so much about your battle with alcoholism, when it so often feels like you don't particularly care. There's a few other people here I've had a similar reaction to. And I think it's because in a sense it's easy to try and help the people who know they have a problem, and are struggling to deal with it. Offering advice, encouragement, helping to pick them up when they fall down. Because you know how badly they want it, and when they finally find the right plan, you feel confident they'll be fine. And the fact is most people posting on a sobriety forum are aware they have a problem and are looking for help to deal with it.

But it's so much harder when you have someone who is as smart as you, as eloquent as you. Who is open and writes about their journey. Who so often says all the right things "I do not have interest in moderation. If I drink, I do it to get drunk. That's the kind of drinker I am" that shows they know they are an alcoholic and the only answer is sobriety. And then in literally the next sentence they can write "I had 2 drinks on 2 different nights and while it was social, if I was by myself, I would have preferred not having any, or getting drunk" showing a complete absence of a clue about their condition. How can you know moderation isn't an option for you while talking about how proud you are that you drank in moderation when you could have got hammered instead? I'm glad there isn't a brick wall next to me, because if there was I'd be banging my head against it.

There is hope for you. There's hope for everyone. And as others have said your situation has improved since those earlier posts when you didn't connect your terrible accident to your drinking, for example. And I want you to get sober as much now as I ever have.

But I'm at a complete loss, as so many others appear to be, about what it will take for you to understand, fully, deeply, completely, that drinking in moderation is not an option for you. Seriously, what will it take?

Originally Posted by ubntubnt

If you know you are an alcoholic and alcohol causes problems in your life why not stop with all the posturing and just quit for good?

Surely, if you acknowledge that you have a problem with alcohol then the posturing is a show of weakness and not strength?

Originally Posted by thomas11

and I can and won't "fight back" regarding what anyone has said

Originally Posted by Aellyce

Something else I just thought of, and I apologize if it's off, but an idea anyway. Looking at your threads and progress as a whole... I share the view of others that you have made some great strides initially and your apparent strength is inspiring. However, I just feel that more recently, you may be using these posts to build something else here... sort of an image of a man who is able to handle what most of us never could. And you keep feeding it, seemingly quite confidently. This, again, makes me think what's there on a deeper level, those missing pieces of the puzzle that you may not be seeing right now...?

Originally Posted by thomas11

Aellyce, you've touched on something that may very well be true. But it is a can of worms that has LONG been closed, and i don't want to re-open it. It was a period in my life that lasted about 5 years and was very dark. It makes my drunken posts look like child's play. I am fortunate, I am not in prison and I am still alive. I will simply leave it at that.