Day 1.. enough is enough
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: South West England
Posts: 17
Thank you all so much for your replies to my post! You are all very kind and I'm sorry you are suffering with this awful addiction too.
I didn't drink yesterday, so that is the first day complete. I usually find that, because any previous attempts to stop drinking have followed a bender which has ended badly, day one is fairly straightforward due to feeling physically and emotionally broken. It's the rest of it I need to face. I will not drink today.
I reread my original post a couple of times and some part of me thinks, wow, that's tragic, that poor person. Almost as if I'm reading about someone else's life. But it's mine, and it's all true. A small voice pipes up somewhere in the recesses of my mind, saying: "it's not really that bad, is it?" This is what frightens me. The mental battle. I know I need to stay focused on how I truly feel; how I felt yesterday, as I've felt so many times before. But it's painful. I feel so emotional. I feel tearful and bitterly sad that I've allowed this to happen. These emotions are so uncomfortable and I guess my natural response is to run away from them, to sooth myself, to find a way to feel more positive emotions as quickly as I can. But we all know where that path leads
stopping drinking seems quite easy when you consider that all that's really required is not having a drink. But the battles run so fundamentally deep below the surface.
Wishing you all a positive and sober day
I didn't drink yesterday, so that is the first day complete. I usually find that, because any previous attempts to stop drinking have followed a bender which has ended badly, day one is fairly straightforward due to feeling physically and emotionally broken. It's the rest of it I need to face. I will not drink today.
I reread my original post a couple of times and some part of me thinks, wow, that's tragic, that poor person. Almost as if I'm reading about someone else's life. But it's mine, and it's all true. A small voice pipes up somewhere in the recesses of my mind, saying: "it's not really that bad, is it?" This is what frightens me. The mental battle. I know I need to stay focused on how I truly feel; how I felt yesterday, as I've felt so many times before. But it's painful. I feel so emotional. I feel tearful and bitterly sad that I've allowed this to happen. These emotions are so uncomfortable and I guess my natural response is to run away from them, to sooth myself, to find a way to feel more positive emotions as quickly as I can. But we all know where that path leads
stopping drinking seems quite easy when you consider that all that's really required is not having a drink. But the battles run so fundamentally deep below the surface. Wishing you all a positive and sober day
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by amber1988 
Thank you all so much for your replies to my post! You are all very kind and I'm sorry you are suffering with this awful addiction too.
I didn't drink yesterday, so that is the first day complete. I usually find that, because any previous attempts to stop drinking have followed a bender which has ended badly, day one is fairly straightforward due to feeling physically and emotionally broken. It's the rest of it I need to face. I will not drink today.
I reread my original post a couple of times and some part of me thinks, wow, that's tragic, that poor person. Almost as if I'm reading about someone else's life. But it's mine, and it's all true. A small voice pipes up somewhere in the recesses of my mind, saying: "it's not really that bad, is it?" This is what frightens me. The mental battle. I know I need to stay focused on how I truly feel; how I felt yesterday, as I've felt so many times before. But it's painful. I feel so emotional. I feel tearful and bitterly sad that I've allowed this to happen. These emotions are so uncomfortable and I guess my natural response is to run away from them, to sooth myself, to find a way to feel more positive emotions as quickly as I can. But we all know where that path leads stopping drinking seems quite easy when you consider that all that's really required is not having a drink. But the battles run so fundamentally deep below the surface.
Wishing you all a positive and sober day
I didn't drink yesterday, so that is the first day complete. I usually find that, because any previous attempts to stop drinking have followed a bender which has ended badly, day one is fairly straightforward due to feeling physically and emotionally broken. It's the rest of it I need to face. I will not drink today.
I reread my original post a couple of times and some part of me thinks, wow, that's tragic, that poor person. Almost as if I'm reading about someone else's life. But it's mine, and it's all true. A small voice pipes up somewhere in the recesses of my mind, saying: "it's not really that bad, is it?" This is what frightens me. The mental battle. I know I need to stay focused on how I truly feel; how I felt yesterday, as I've felt so many times before. But it's painful. I feel so emotional. I feel tearful and bitterly sad that I've allowed this to happen. These emotions are so uncomfortable and I guess my natural response is to run away from them, to sooth myself, to find a way to feel more positive emotions as quickly as I can. But we all know where that path leads
stopping drinking seems quite easy when you consider that all that's really required is not having a drink. But the battles run so fundamentally deep below the surface. Wishing you all a positive and sober day
But one of the things I quickly did learn is that "little voice in your head" that you referred to is known as your AV. Alcoholic Voice. One of your first tasks will be to get that stubborn, dangerous, reckless, calculating, plotting, life threatening, realationship wrecking and overall good for nothing but trouble voice firmly Under control and to talk some sense into him!!!
There are so many wonderful people here who will help you do just that. Here I am at around 5 weeks sober and my AV has given up on me for the moment. I have not heard from him for a couple of days. I know he will be back with a vengeance. But I am ready for him!!!!
Lots of luck.
Last edited by Fabat50; 12-08-2015 at 11:37 AM. Reason: spelling
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Originally Posted by beautifulpines
Yes!!and don't wait until you are 60 and have tons of regrets. Live!
Welcome to a fantastic community Amber .
I knew years ago I had a serious drink problem and i'm now 59 . I wasted too many years thinking about stopping .
You sound ready to get your life back and I truly wish you well .
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Hi Amber,
Glad you're here and recognised the problem / seeking help, I'm pretty new here too but have found it a grat help and the input from others invaluable over the past couple of weeks - certainly made things a lot clearer and helped thro a number of difficult days.
As Fabat has mentioned putting something down in writing and reading back through it is most definitely helpful and puts things into perspective allowing you to reflect and grasp why you have found yourself here in the first place because you genuinely want to seek help and succeed.
I also took myself to the local authority drink and drugs counselling and it's been a good move too - ball rolling and had a couple of appointments now.
Good luck with it all but you have definitely found a great place here for all the support you need.
Glad you're here and recognised the problem / seeking help, I'm pretty new here too but have found it a grat help and the input from others invaluable over the past couple of weeks - certainly made things a lot clearer and helped thro a number of difficult days.
As Fabat has mentioned putting something down in writing and reading back through it is most definitely helpful and puts things into perspective allowing you to reflect and grasp why you have found yourself here in the first place because you genuinely want to seek help and succeed.
I also took myself to the local authority drink and drugs counselling and it's been a good move too - ball rolling and had a couple of appointments now.
Good luck with it all but you have definitely found a great place here for all the support you need.
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