How many times does it take?
 

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I guess right now what I'm looking for is for someone to tell me I'm not the only one. Someone to tell me they've been where I am and have been. I know there is as we are all here for a reason but I just want someone to tell me as I need to read it.

I'm not sure where to start other than to say that every time I think I've hit a new low when drinking I seem to one-up myself to an astounding and shocking low. I won't induldge the details as I prefer to bury it in my subconscious and focus on today and what I can change now. All things considered, thing's could have been much much worse and I'm completely lucky it didn't.

What scares me is how many more times do I need to compromise myself, my future, my life and now my families well-being before I GET IT? I have been down this road too many times...telling myself and anyone else I've hurt that this is it! I'm done. No more! But then here I am again, sick and anxious over the person I become when I drink. Someone I am not when sober. Things I would NEVER do when straight. How many times is being sick with worry enough??

Im married with a beautiful one and a half year old son. I want and need to be a better mother and wife. They deserve better. I'll never forget my husband stating his concern before we got married that he doesn't want a drunk for his future child's mother and here I am. It makes me sick. All I know right now is I don't have to go through this anymore. And I don't need to drag my family down with me. I can't change the past but I can change the present and future by stopping this insanity.

I'm hopping like the rest of you for support in this community as I've been down this road before but always seem fall off the wagon. It's hard when you no longer trust and believe yourself. Thanks for reading.

Welcome to SR. You are in the right place if you want to learn how to beat your addiction.

:c011:

I never fell off the wagon. I always jumped. I thought I'd never learn.

I learned. You can too. We are a hard-headed lot, but we can still learn.

You can do this! :ring

Welcome! For me, it took losing everything short of death. You can stop the Rollercoaster before it completely falls off the rails. Stick around, this place has been vital for me. :)

it takes until you are honestly ready to decide that it's over....

it takes until you decide, without reservation, to live a better, happier, richer, more present and rewarding life.

it takes until you've been beaten down enough by your own failed attempts to "prove" that you can include alcohol in your life - that you finally decide it's just not worth it.

it takes until you let go of the fantasy that life somehow requires you to pour toxic liquid into your body in order to be fun, worthy, successful or fulfilled.

it takes until you're ready to decide that if a CHILD can live life happily and joyfully without booze - then certainly you can too.

it takes until you let go of all the baloney notions that you're somehow going to 'miss out' and instead decide to give your all to learning all the very REAL things you've been MISSING OUT ON because of booze.

it takes, very simply, as many times as it takes until YOU. DECIDE. TO. CHANGE.

Because at the end of the day.... higher powers are immensely helpful. friends and support and changes in habit and therapy and meditation and AA and rehab and exercise and gratitude lists and a zillion other things are fantastic tools but NONE of them will be the answer.....

Until. You. Choose.


:grouphug:

Yes, my bottom was when I quit digging. It could have gotten worse, and conversely - I could have quit sooner.

You are where you are. God meets us wherever we are. As soon as I cried out for help, it appeared.

Go to bed sober tonight. It feels great.

Hi Jbl, welcome to the community! I can identify with the anxiety you are describing. Hangovers for me, as bad as the headache can be, the worst part has always been that anxiety you described. I know what a terrible person I am when I drink, and when I wake up with my head pounding and large gaps in my memory, I fill those gaps by assuming the worst and just feel terrible about myself. It is not a lot of fun.

Welcome Jbl

Welcome, glad you're with us! While we each have unique details to our stories, it's pretty much fill in the blank.........Our friend and moderator Dee posted this a few years back as a permanent sticky. Please read it - http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ouncement.html


When the consequences of our actions outweigh our drinking, many of us finally capitulate and reach out for help. For those with a genuine desire to quit and are willing to keep an open mind, becoming teachable - sobriety is there.

It is the alcoholic dance that makes us suffer the most - we drink, become full of guilt, shame and fear - stop / or slow down - time passes and we do it again, and again.......insidious insanity

The elevator stops at every floor - we don' t have to ride it all the way to the basement, but that is indeed where it's headed.

You aren't alone, and you certainly don't have to get and stay sober alone. There is plenty of support both here and in your community, no doubt.

Welcome, friend

You are not alone. I too have dealt with severe anxiety and depression and found out that I needed to get on meds and see a therapist before I could completely stop drinking. Once that was done, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I also have a family and while I thought I have tried many times to quit for them, it didn't stick till I realized I was quitting for myself. Best of luck. Keep reading and posting. Don't be a stranger. This place really helps.

Welcome JBL. Lots of good advice here, I'd simply add that it takes as many times as you'd like it to. You have the power and choice to make TODAY be the day that it all ends. There is no pre-destined outcome, it's 100% about the choices you make.

Certainly outside support is needed, especially in all the areas we need help with and the underlying conditions. But never forget...you get to choose when it ends.

Welcome to the Forum Jbl!! :wave: