wpainterw

What is the Most Important Thing?
In my view it is this: "One day at a time; one thing at a time; easy does it!" Many recovering alcoholics identify these admonitions with AA. Nothing wrong with that! But they are older than AA. The gist of this goes back thousands of years, as to the Tao Te Ching, around 500 B.C.E. for example. And to the Buddhists, Hindu thinkers, the Greeks. And, oddly enough, to the canny Scots, who are said to have developed the game of golf. One stroke at a time! Keep your eye on the ball! And those who practice meditation often refer to being "in the zone". As the Tao Te Ching says, "By doing a single thing, all things get done. By seeking to do everything, nothing gets done." So much for obsessive-compulsive behavior, the bane of alcoholics!.
So I try to get "into the zone" and hope to stay there. It does wonders for my blood pressure and reinforces my sobriety.

W.

FreeOwl

Honestly embracing - each and every day - the choice to live my life as fully and deeply as possible.

When I remain focused on that, sobriety follows.

Soberwolf

Acceptance & Action

Mountainmanbob

Not fooling myself (yet again)
for no one has deceived me more than me
I can (justify) talk myself into doing foolish things
being and staying sober helps with the making of good moral decisions
but, I must keep a constant eye on the one in the mirror.

MB

bunnezjp

I believe everyone can benefit from thinking in terms of "one day at at time". Live for now, don't worry about 5 days, or 5 years, or 5 minutes from now....unless you accidentally stopped your car on train tracks and there's a train due in 5 min.

~Bunnez

DefconOne

That's the baseline coping technique and along the final mental realization that you have no control over alcohol and abstinence is the only solution. Learn to sing in the rain!

wpainterw

That's a good metaphor. Stopping the car on the train tracks. "Don't worry! Be happy!" says the AV ("Have another drink! You can handle it. If not, you can 'begin' sobriety tomorrow! Oh! What's that light in the distance!")

W.

paddyjnr1

How you behave between meetings

LiveInPeace

Thank you for a great post. In the beginning of my recovery journey, I especially loved the slogans.

People at my most recent meeting were also talking about the gifts of living one day at a time. Just focusing on 24 hours, and how Step 10 & 11 reinforce that. It really simplifies things.

Coincidentally, I thought about looking into Buddhism right before I found a new AA group which I now consider to be my home group.

AnonWife

The most important thing to me was making the decision to stop and then working on why I lost control in the first place. Realizing I could recover and lead a normal, happy life again. This was but a blip in my life story.

McCartney

For myself, having good support such as the AA. If I go to all the meetings I can (every other day in my city) then I tend to suceed at sobriety. In these early days, if I say "oh its fine I don't need to make the effort to go out" I tend to stumble.

wpainterw

This is what I try to do all the time, meetings or no meetings. One day at a time, one thing at a time, live in the NOW.

W.

wpainterw

Another thought:
In addition to "One Step at a Time", another important insight is to focus on what's going on right now, not on the past (which cannot be changed) nor on the future (which cannot be predicted). For alcoholics wishing to get into recovery the most important thing, perhaps the only thing, is "What should I be doing right now." For a good book on this see The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Aug 19, 2004. by Eckhart Tolle. But be careful. The AV also likes "Now" and is saying stuff like "Don't worry about it now. One drink won't matter, and if you want you can call it 'one last drink' you can start your so called "sobriety" tomorrow." The answer to that AV is to "Buzz Off! Shut Up!" "Now" is also not the time to say, "Gee Wizz! How am I going to persuade my boy-girl friend into not leaving or how can I get him-her back? They're going to (or have taken) my kids away. How (when) can I get them back?" Or "I'm going to lose (or have lost) my job. How am I going to get another?" That's all for later. Not for "Now" where there's only one thing to focus on. How to avoid picking up a drink or drug. And how to keep avoiding that. And how to shut the AV in its cage and throw away the key. How to do that? Get support from other recovering alcoholics, professionals, counselors. Get lots of exercise, don't isolate, get out and do stuff which you like to do as long as it doesn't involve drinking, drugging, etc. Even try to help other recovering alcoholics (but don't use that as a way of ignoring your own situation, reinforcing denial).

W.

PurpleKnight

Love the golf analogy, "one shot at a time" as well as living in the present!!

silentrun

Hi Painter. What are you up to these days? Your post gave me a little Caddyshack moment.

Eddiebuckle

To me, honesty is the most important thing. I drank because I thought I could, despite all the evidence to the contrary. I spent my time chasing external things that might bring me happiness. Most of all, I preferred not to look too closely at my thinking or my actions, because another day of self delusion was easier to contemplate than beginning the work required to fix them.

Once I was willing to honestly look at who I was and what I was doing, I became willing to do the work to change.

SereneEdition

At different times in my recovery, different tools have been my 'most important thing.'

One thing at a time is definitely a goodie that I keep coming back to In fact I used it today!

This week the mantra 'choose discomfort over regret' has been helpful to create the space between getting an urge and acting on it.

wpainterw

That might be rephrased to read, "Choose future happiness over the hell of chemical slavery". "Discomfort", a euphemism abroad in medical circles and terrorist interrogators, is often a misleading understatement, as "regret" is an inaccurate description of the "life in death" of continuing worsening alcoholism.

W.

On The Road

Having a plan. It helped me create a new code of behavior that ensures everything I do "in the moment" is in support of my sobriety.