Fear no more Weekender Dec 4
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
MLD congratulations on the year ,
I hope the weekend thread helped you out , helped get you through those weekends when it was tough at the beginning .
CNGY good to see you .. being sober and gay i found it difficult as the social scene is focused around clubs and bars , It takes a lot of work to find and build a sober life outside of that .. Keep on
Soz if i've missed a hello to you the new person , i dont mean too but i have a poor memory for anything much posted before my own message.
I hope everyone has a plan for friday night , if you're early on then the stress will happen and the craving will come , there are no surprises with an addiction , it is boringly repetitive .. so have a plan .. reach out ..
Remember to post in the newcomers forum or the night owl thread if you need help now .
This old thread gets so big and unwieldy, this sober drunk finds it hard to read it or remember any of it , I'd hate to overlook someones cry for help and you'll probably get more exposure on the main forum . Your welcome to post here too though . everyone is welcome in the newcomers area
A glorious sober life is possible , it might not be what you expect but it will be worth it .
Lets get through the weekend together
all are welcome , lets do this ,
m
I hope the weekend thread helped you out , helped get you through those weekends when it was tough at the beginning .
CNGY good to see you .. being sober and gay i found it difficult as the social scene is focused around clubs and bars , It takes a lot of work to find and build a sober life outside of that .. Keep on
Soz if i've missed a hello to you the new person , i dont mean too but i have a poor memory for anything much posted before my own message.
I hope everyone has a plan for friday night , if you're early on then the stress will happen and the craving will come , there are no surprises with an addiction , it is boringly repetitive .. so have a plan .. reach out ..
Remember to post in the newcomers forum or the night owl thread if you need help now .
This old thread gets so big and unwieldy, this sober drunk finds it hard to read it or remember any of it , I'd hate to overlook someones cry for help and you'll probably get more exposure on the main forum . Your welcome to post here too though . everyone is welcome in the newcomers area
A glorious sober life is possible , it might not be what you expect but it will be worth it .
Lets get through the weekend together
all are welcome , lets do this ,
m
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
SP, it seems like you have been steadily working toward this split for a while. You are a very smart woman. As a divorced only child myself, I get it. Number One always, methodical planning.
I'm sure he is sensing that this is on the horizon.
I know over in Friends and Family they suggest not engaging with him at all when he's in crazy mode in order to keep the peace until the time comes. I'm not saying I would be able to do that...but it's a thought that would afford you a little more serenity maybe.
I'm sure he is sensing that this is on the horizon.
I know over in Friends and Family they suggest not engaging with him at all when he's in crazy mode in order to keep the peace until the time comes. I'm not saying I would be able to do that...but it's a thought that would afford you a little more serenity maybe.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Just got back from the conference at my son's school. It was really great. It went through his academic strengths, his interests, and a peek into what his future career goals might be. It went into high school classes he needs/wants to take in order to prepare himself for the college classes he will want to take. It was excellent information. Wish we had had that sort of thing when I was in middle school/high school. I went to college with no plan. He will have at least the beginning of one. This is the first of similar conferences to come. He's really starting to learn a lot about himself.
Now off to my haircut. A bit of pampering. I wish I could afford a facial, too. Not in the budget right now. I'll come home and do a face mask. Poor girl's facial.
Now off to my haircut. A bit of pampering. I wish I could afford a facial, too. Not in the budget right now. I'll come home and do a face mask. Poor girl's facial.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Checking in. Turned off a song on the radio that kept repeating the line "I'm gonna get loaded on a bottle of wine tonight." Stupid.
Heard that Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots was found dead in Minnesota. He was 48. Another struggler with addiction but no cause of death listed. Not many 48 year olds just die in their sleep though.
Mr. Ruby continues his struggle. His morning afters are a good reminder of all the mornings after I no longer have to go through. He called in sick today. Don't know if he'll keep his job. Surely people can call in sick and he hasn't done it much but still. I have no idea what time he got home. Didn't hear him come in. Said he was thinking of hanging himself. I've heard that before. I told him to call 911 and check himself in. Cold and heartless? I have no control over what he will or won't do.
I'm grateful to all of you. Keep fighting the good fight. Waking up without pain and dread never gets old.
Heard that Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots was found dead in Minnesota. He was 48. Another struggler with addiction but no cause of death listed. Not many 48 year olds just die in their sleep though.
Mr. Ruby continues his struggle. His morning afters are a good reminder of all the mornings after I no longer have to go through. He called in sick today. Don't know if he'll keep his job. Surely people can call in sick and he hasn't done it much but still. I have no idea what time he got home. Didn't hear him come in. Said he was thinking of hanging himself. I've heard that before. I told him to call 911 and check himself in. Cold and heartless? I have no control over what he will or won't do.
I'm grateful to all of you. Keep fighting the good fight. Waking up without pain and dread never gets old.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I had an ex who threatened suicide a couple times.
You want to hear cold? The second time I said, "Go for it." I was over it by then. He did it just for a reaction/attention. I don't understand how that kind of threat is supposed to make someone love them more. Or even what the purpose is. I guess maybe their pain seems too great. (?)
You want to hear cold? The second time I said, "Go for it." I was over it by then. He did it just for a reaction/attention. I don't understand how that kind of threat is supposed to make someone love them more. Or even what the purpose is. I guess maybe their pain seems too great. (?)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Lit the fireplace last nite and had candles burning when she arrived home. Watched the last 2 episodes of Apocalypse WWII as she soaked. Then for whatever reason we started to watch Friends season 1. I said it was a popular show and it should get better - we're hoping that it does after the third episode... it seems there are a lot of characters vying for plot 'attention' . It must be a tough job for the writers to keep them all happy. I'd take Courtney Cox over Jennifer Aniston any day Back then at least haha.
Congrats on a YEAR SOBER MLD.
SP, try to stay even keeled. As I mentioned before, only you really know the situation. Do what is in your best interest - emotionally and spiritually.
My mantra has always been, 'I'd rather be happy living in a trailer than be miserable living in a mansion.' I lived the millionaire lifestyle for almost 4 years and I wasn't happy. Money cannot buy happiness.
Back then at least haha.Congrats on a YEAR SOBER MLD.
SP, try to stay even keeled. As I mentioned before, only you really know the situation. Do what is in your best interest - emotionally and spiritually.
My mantra has always been, 'I'd rather be happy living in a trailer than be miserable living in a mansion.' I lived the millionaire lifestyle for almost 4 years and I wasn't happy. Money cannot buy happiness.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Marty, you're one of the big kids now!
Potamus, I was just thinking that since you have a pretty good perspective on your situation, that in itself affords you the luxury of doing, or not doing, things at YOUR pace. You have the ability to plan and see things objectively and that's a good thing especially when it comes to matters of the heart where so much emotion is involved. In other words, You won't be forced to make a rash decision.
(((Ruby))) you have to be somewhat detached when living with an active user. I hope he gets some help soon for everyone's sake. . Feeling suicidal day after day was what finally drove me to quit. It's a miserable way to live.
Scott Weiland was a real talent. Such a waste. Love Stone Temple Pilots.
Gotta decide on insurance today. Been dreading making the decision but I'll feel better once it's settled.
Potamus, I was just thinking that since you have a pretty good perspective on your situation, that in itself affords you the luxury of doing, or not doing, things at YOUR pace. You have the ability to plan and see things objectively and that's a good thing especially when it comes to matters of the heart where so much emotion is involved. In other words, You won't be forced to make a rash decision.
(((Ruby))) you have to be somewhat detached when living with an active user. I hope he gets some help soon for everyone's sake. . Feeling suicidal day after day was what finally drove me to quit. It's a miserable way to live.
Scott Weiland was a real talent. Such a waste. Love Stone Temple Pilots.
Gotta decide on insurance today. Been dreading making the decision but I'll feel better once it's settled.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Welcome to the weekender everyone.
CNGY and others, I'm going to 'say' something and please take this to heart
If you think you are going to drink or are close to a drink -
POST BEFORE YOU DRINK - NOT AFTER
It's much more comforting to talk someone out of drinking than to be begging them to dump it out after they started drinking. It upsets the riders when someone posts after they already started drinking.
To be clear, if you already drank for whatever reason, please let us know. Do not feel ashamed and go into hiding. Reach out for support - ALWAYS. But it's much easier when you bring it to the table before you pick up the drink. We would rather do our best to prevent you from drinking rather than trying to stop you after you started.
CNGY and others, I'm going to 'say' something and please take this to heart
If you think you are going to drink or are close to a drink -
POST BEFORE YOU DRINK - NOT AFTER
It's much more comforting to talk someone out of drinking than to be begging them to dump it out after they started drinking. It upsets the riders when someone posts after they already started drinking.
To be clear, if you already drank for whatever reason, please let us know. Do not feel ashamed and go into hiding. Reach out for support - ALWAYS. But it's much easier when you bring it to the table before you pick up the drink. We would rather do our best to prevent you from drinking rather than trying to stop you after you started.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I agree, LB.
If someone feels a need to drink, this is a good place to be. I think it's Trach who says, "Come on here and ask for permission."
I spent a lot of time here in the early days. Well, okay, I still do. There is always someone on SR who can talk about stuff. Whatever problems or issues anyone has, there is a solution.
If someone feels a need to drink, this is a good place to be. I think it's Trach who says, "Come on here and ask for permission."
I spent a lot of time here in the early days. Well, okay, I still do. There is always someone on SR who can talk about stuff. Whatever problems or issues anyone has, there is a solution.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Ruby... Mr Ruby DOC is crack no? I kicked that but man oh man that's really tough. I needed to go to extremes to get out from under that, I am not making excuses what so ever. I was just curious so I can better understand. You are amazing in your resilience and self love. I admire you so much.
K
K
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I just want to add to my last post. Dee started a thread,'The Night Owl Thread' I think. If you are struggling, post on the newcomers forum at the top. Or post on the night Owl Thread - there is always someone out there who will respond. If this thread is "quiet" use another thread for help - reach out.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...wl-thread.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...wl-thread.html
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Marty Marty Rah Rah Rah!!!
Congratulations on a year! That is a major accomplishment! I admire you and I'm so glad you're here and I got to 'meet' you. Please keep doing what you're doing and sharing the wealth! You are an inspiration!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Brain, great advice! People are always here.
Weasel, yes, crack is Mr. Ruby's DOC. He's doing better than in the past but it's always out there. He puts a lid on it for a good chunk of time then thinks he can moderate. He's been out there for a year now this time.
I told him this morning that if he loses his job he's out the first time he asks me to pay his dealer. I can make ends meet without him working but not if I'm paying for his addiction.
Weasel, yes, crack is Mr. Ruby's DOC. He's doing better than in the past but it's always out there. He puts a lid on it for a good chunk of time then thinks he can moderate. He's been out there for a year now this time.
I told him this morning that if he loses his job he's out the first time he asks me to pay his dealer. I can make ends meet without him working but not if I'm paying for his addiction.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
I'm HERE!
Hi Highwind and Goes with the Flow and Abraxas and CuteNGay and ppl I haven't met yet! Melki and MidnightBlue, hellooooo!
Venecia, you took the words out of my mouth about SereneEdition's avatar! I saved that image once, I think that bowl of blueberries is the best thing I've ever seen on SR!
Hello everyone, good to see you!
I'm headed to a job interview in a little bit. I wasn't looking for a job but it's exec chef of three locations, could be big money. I want to see how sound their operations are. If they let me look at their P&Ls I'll know quickly.
I like my job, but it's always good to network. I might recommend them a good fit if it's not me. The chef network is very family-like in that regard in my city.
I'm glad we are all here. I'm happily sober!
Hi Highwind and Goes with the Flow and Abraxas and CuteNGay and ppl I haven't met yet! Melki and MidnightBlue, hellooooo!
Venecia, you took the words out of my mouth about SereneEdition's avatar! I saved that image once, I think that bowl of blueberries is the best thing I've ever seen on SR!
Hello everyone, good to see you!
I'm headed to a job interview in a little bit. I wasn't looking for a job but it's exec chef of three locations, could be big money. I want to see how sound their operations are. If they let me look at their P&Ls I'll know quickly.
I like my job, but it's always good to network. I might recommend them a good fit if it's not me. The chef network is very family-like in that regard in my city.
I'm glad we are all here. I'm happily sober!
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