Convalescence's Recovery Journal
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Thanks Dee. 
Things are stable and busy on my end still. I'm spending most of this week moving out of my apartment and wrapping up my work obligations. I've been feeling a certain sadness about everything coming to an end, but my future is going to be bright.
Love you guys.
Things are stable and busy on my end still. I'm spending most of this week moving out of my apartment and wrapping up my work obligations. I've been feeling a certain sadness about everything coming to an end, but my future is going to be bright.
Love you guys.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Last week of work, soon to be the first week of a new adventure.
Before I moved to this town I was lost in addiction and not posting on this forum regularly. I know that there wasn't anything magical about changing locations that helped me get sober, but I've felt like it's symbolic how my life has improved so much since I've been here. Now it's time to go to a new place in life with the lessons and confidence I've learned over the past few years.
I still am vulnerable sometimes, and that's okay. There's a marked difference in who I am now and I know that's never going to be undone. I remember having thoughts about just having to 'accept I'd be addicted the rest of my life' when I was lost in despair and self-pity a few years back. These days that's such foreign to me and completely unthinkable.
I'm always thankful for the support I've gotten here and don't plan to stop documenting my journey as prepare for my new job abroad. I really do love you guys and know having a community to keep me accountable and care for me has done wonders.
All the best, guys.
Before I moved to this town I was lost in addiction and not posting on this forum regularly. I know that there wasn't anything magical about changing locations that helped me get sober, but I've felt like it's symbolic how my life has improved so much since I've been here. Now it's time to go to a new place in life with the lessons and confidence I've learned over the past few years.
I still am vulnerable sometimes, and that's okay. There's a marked difference in who I am now and I know that's never going to be undone. I remember having thoughts about just having to 'accept I'd be addicted the rest of my life' when I was lost in despair and self-pity a few years back. These days that's such foreign to me and completely unthinkable.
I'm always thankful for the support I've gotten here and don't plan to stop documenting my journey as prepare for my new job abroad. I really do love you guys and know having a community to keep me accountable and care for me has done wonders.
All the best, guys.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Thanks Dee,
Going to be doing a lot of preparation for my trip in the next few weeks. I'm just relaxing at home with my parents in the meanwhile. It's nice to have a month or so to relax before my adventures abroad.
All the best.
Going to be doing a lot of preparation for my trip in the next few weeks. I'm just relaxing at home with my parents in the meanwhile. It's nice to have a month or so to relax before my adventures abroad.
All the best.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Not having a job for a bit has felt a bit weird, but in a good way. It's nice having more free time so I can get things done at a leisurely pace.
I've been working through some feelings about my family while I've been living at home. I love my parents and am always grateful for them, but spending more time with them has helped me better understand and categorize things they do and how I'd like to do things differently in my own life and with my eventual family. I just want to make sure my kids have a strong support system so they never feel like they have to face addiction - or any problem in their life - alone.
All in all, life and God are good.
I've been working through some feelings about my family while I've been living at home. I love my parents and am always grateful for them, but spending more time with them has helped me better understand and categorize things they do and how I'd like to do things differently in my own life and with my eventual family. I just want to make sure my kids have a strong support system so they never feel like they have to face addiction - or any problem in their life - alone.
All in all, life and God are good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Heading out this week to see relatives and get my visa. I'm grateful for the opportunity - I've wanted to see my grandma for a while. She and everyone else in my family have been really supportive of my decision to work abroad.
Still taking my recovery seriously and living at peace with myself.
Still taking my recovery seriously and living at peace with myself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Back from my trip, just three weeks left before I ship off.
I had to deal with some difficult emotions seeing my grandma. She's been caring for my older brother for a while and I wasn't aware of the schisms it'd caused in the family. Long story, but it's something she took upon herself despite his abusive behavior and I feel like after all this time he's still hurting my loved ones. It's a complicated situation since he does have a mental illness/disability and yet I believe on some level he's consciously chosen to behave very cruelly towards my mom and grandma.
I don't really have the answers at this time, nor do I feel like I got any closure from the situation. I'm just trying to detach at this point. I do care about my brother and want him to be alright, but I feel like he takes advantage of my folks' unconditional love. It's out of my hands at this point and all I can do is accept I can't change it, pray for him, and support my parents emotionally in their efforts.
Despite the heavy emotions/family situation, the trip had a lot of fun moments. I got my visa without a hitch, checkout out a local museum, and got to spend some time with my aunt and uncle in the country. I'm thankful I got to say 'goodbye' to everyone before things get crazy in my life. It's the good kind of craziness though - the kind to look forward to.
Much love, all.
I had to deal with some difficult emotions seeing my grandma. She's been caring for my older brother for a while and I wasn't aware of the schisms it'd caused in the family. Long story, but it's something she took upon herself despite his abusive behavior and I feel like after all this time he's still hurting my loved ones. It's a complicated situation since he does have a mental illness/disability and yet I believe on some level he's consciously chosen to behave very cruelly towards my mom and grandma.
I don't really have the answers at this time, nor do I feel like I got any closure from the situation. I'm just trying to detach at this point. I do care about my brother and want him to be alright, but I feel like he takes advantage of my folks' unconditional love. It's out of my hands at this point and all I can do is accept I can't change it, pray for him, and support my parents emotionally in their efforts.
Despite the heavy emotions/family situation, the trip had a lot of fun moments. I got my visa without a hitch, checkout out a local museum, and got to spend some time with my aunt and uncle in the country. I'm thankful I got to say 'goodbye' to everyone before things get crazy in my life. It's the good kind of craziness though - the kind to look forward to.
Much love, all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Thanks Dee.
One more week to go before my oversea adventures. I'm leaving early next Sunday morn for the airport, will make sure to collect and jot down my thoughts before then. Just taking care of myself and my remaining responsibilities here in the meantime.
Love you guys.
One more week to go before my oversea adventures. I'm leaving early next Sunday morn for the airport, will make sure to collect and jot down my thoughts before then. Just taking care of myself and my remaining responsibilities here in the meantime.
Love you guys.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Just wanted to write before I headed out. My flight is very early Sunday morning, so likely won't have time to journal the day as it's a 24 hour+ flight.
Spending time with my family the past month has helped me work through some emotions and strengthen my relationships w/ my parents. I love them a lot and am very thankful for the help they've been during my interim stay with them and throughout my life in general. I'm always grateful my addiction didn't progress to the point where it consumed their lives like it was consuming mine. I still get emotional thinking about the place I was nearly three years ago - addicted and going through crazy lengths to 'control' things on my own while I was broken mentally and spiritually.
Having the confidence and freedom to go abroad would have been unthinkable then. A lot changed for me in the last few years, all for the better. Excited to keep truly living and seeing what this next chapter in life has in store for me.
Love you guys always, I'm truly thankful for your support and sage advice.
Spending time with my family the past month has helped me work through some emotions and strengthen my relationships w/ my parents. I love them a lot and am very thankful for the help they've been during my interim stay with them and throughout my life in general. I'm always grateful my addiction didn't progress to the point where it consumed their lives like it was consuming mine. I still get emotional thinking about the place I was nearly three years ago - addicted and going through crazy lengths to 'control' things on my own while I was broken mentally and spiritually.
Having the confidence and freedom to go abroad would have been unthinkable then. A lot changed for me in the last few years, all for the better. Excited to keep truly living and seeing what this next chapter in life has in store for me.
Love you guys always, I'm truly thankful for your support and sage advice.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
Thanks Dee,
Sorry I haven't been on in a few weeks, the internet here is kind of spotty. Hope to have a more consistent connection once my new job begins after our training.
Will write more then, but I'm doing quite well and very glad I made the trip. It's been a huge confidence booster and I'm excited to start teaching in several weeks.
Much love.
Sorry I haven't been on in a few weeks, the internet here is kind of spotty. Hope to have a more consistent connection once my new job begins after our training.
Will write more then, but I'm doing quite well and very glad I made the trip. It's been a huge confidence booster and I'm excited to start teaching in several weeks.
Much love.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
I'm finally settled in and have stable internet. Plan to start blogging again regularly.
Things are amazing sobriety-wise and I love my new job. Taking this opportunity was the right decision and I hope to write about my feelings in the coming weeks. Heading to bed currently, big day tomorrow.
Love you guys, didn't forget about my friends here. All the best.
Things are amazing sobriety-wise and I love my new job. Taking this opportunity was the right decision and I hope to write about my feelings in the coming weeks. Heading to bed currently, big day tomorrow.
Love you guys, didn't forget about my friends here. All the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 303
My time abroad has been really chaotic, but amazingly beautiful. I'm teaching and truly love working with the kids here, they're bundles of energy and quite supportive/helpful. I'm still growing as a teacher but know I'm talented and will continue to give my all in everything I do for them.
I keep busy but haven't forgotten about my recovery family. I want to start journaling here again on a regular basis, because it's healthy for me and I do miss you guys. Things are definitely stabilizing which will let me get back into the swing of things.
Love you guys. All is well on my end, excited for what the future holds.
I keep busy but haven't forgotten about my recovery family. I want to start journaling here again on a regular basis, because it's healthy for me and I do miss you guys. Things are definitely stabilizing which will let me get back into the swing of things.
Love you guys. All is well on my end, excited for what the future holds.
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