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Old 12-02-2015, 11:42 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Stevie. I wasn't saying I'm not like others. I was just saying that we all probably look for things that point to why our problem with alcohol is different or not as bad as others. Yet the root of our problem is all the same.
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Old 12-02-2015, 01:56 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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OK, but it is not about the style or manner or pattern of our drinking habits , its not even about the 'quantity '' it is about what '' alcohol did to us '' We are powerless over alcohol and our lives were unmanageable , if we can accept that 100% then we are ready to move on . Do you have any different plan to help you stay sober? , good thing is you seem to have a very understanding wife that looks as if she will support you , that is a'' big big bonus'' . Take care .

regards .

Stevie .
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:09 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere View Post
I appreciate everyone's feedback. I think what this all boils down to is the common notion that we can somehow moderate. It makes no sense because we have no trackrecord of it, and fall into not moderating real quickly. I didn't drink for 15 months, drank while on vacation and came back and was drinking virtually everyday again.
I think we cling to the things that someone seem to distinguish ourselves as different and therefore, able to control it- for me that is the fact I didn't get hammered. Well, great. I never got hammered much, but I would walk through fire if I had to in order to get my 3-4 drinks every night.
My point is, I'm not the same as everyone who has a drinking problem- and I am no different either.
Thanks everyone for getting me off the wrong track and you all have helped push my resolve to get/ stay in the right place- away from drinking altogether.

I'm glad to hear you say that.... and I hope you're able to really commit to that choice.

I went back and read your first post, from when you joined here. Your story includes a lot of the common-theme elements of the many many thousands and millions of downhill-spiraling alcohol abusers who found themselves one day suddenly so far gone they almost couldnt' recognize themselves. "How the hell did I wind up HERE??".

I remember being where you describe. I remember thinking it'd never get worse. I remember feeling like I was different from all the others who'd gone before me and learned the hard way.

These days I have to kind of chuckle at myself.... because now that I've gone and learned the hard way I can look back and see the folly of it that I was totally blind to at the time.
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:21 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi I drank, I thought, moderately for years. Then over the side I fell. Now I tread carefully each day. My hope is to be present for my grandkids. Their parents have forgiven me, but sadly bear the scars from their drunk mom. Please stop before inflicting more pain.
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:21 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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And the really scary thing about what FreeOwl just wrote is that there are no flashing neon lights saying, "Danger. Warning. Treacherous rocks, one step away." One day I just woke up and had to have a drink, and that continued all day every day more or less against my will because at that invisible line, I crossed over into alcohol dependence and there was no going back to fun drinking.
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:35 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Some massively valuable advice here.

Basically the AV lies. Always.

For drinkers like me, playing with moderation is a lot like russian roulette....it's not if, but when.

D
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:40 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I have a friend who husband stopped drinking for 2 years and has started the slippery slope since last year, they spent several months apart recently as he felt it was "too hard" to cope with family life but his life didn't get better without them and they are now looking to repair their marriage.
He lives in denial that his drinking causes problems for himself and his family.
My friend clearly is not ready to give up on their marriage that she has spent 14 years of life entangled with him.
When their children were asked about daddy coming home to live with them again they all said they didn't want it to happen. yet the 'sleepovers' became more often and he is living at home,
drinking a few beers of an evening after a hard days work and pointed out to his wife the one night in the week he didn't have a drink was to prove a point to her!!

It's pure denial and that's a bad place as far as I'm concerned.
My father and my mother still live with the denial of my fathers problems with alcohol, I am wholly relieved I don't have to spend Christmas with them this year.
My husband stopped drinking over 3 years ago and I just over 2 years back.

It's a cycle and it will continue unless we become the ones to say NO and live the NEVER.

Good luck on your journey

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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