brand new: please help if you can
 

Hi,
I found this site yesterday, and have decided that today is the day. Yesterday would have been the day, but no- I had to go and buy a whole bunch of wine. Damn. I sure wish I didn't have to stop drinking but the HUGE amounts of red wine I go through every night have left me forgetting whole evenings, hiding bottles, lying to my beloved family, and feeling weak and worthless. But it feels so relaxing to drink! At the time. What a nitwit.

I'm in my early 40s, a woman with 2 kids, 10 and 3. Yesterday I found a note in my 10 year old's diary (yeah, I know; bad invasive mama) saying that she was worried about the amount I drank. "I think she must drink a bottle of wine a day!" More like a 1.5 liter bottle, my honey.

I've always worked full-time, in the book business, but took off a couple of years when I had my youngest daughter in 2001. Now I'm finishing my BS and plan to go on to my Master's. I get As in university, did well at work, am smart (except maybe not so smart, as here I am).
I am an agnostic, firmly believing that we just don't know if there is an afterlife or a god or not, and really don't need to know, just live our human-being lives and wait and see. I have no beef with god-believing folks, but can't make that leap of faith myself. I know I need to make this life a better one; it may be all there is.
Normally I dislike groups and support-type boards, like this one, but obviously I'd better get down off my high horse. I'll be doing this "alone"; no AA for me. I've got some Valium (legally prescribed for my PMS) and am planning on using it for the first few days...
If any of you see yourself in me, and can get over my snotty attitude, constant sarcasm, and cynical views, please do reply. I have a feeling I'm going to need this forum. I am scared, and still too proud and vain to ask my friends and family for support (although my husband has tried many times now to introduce the subject, and always with love). I'm sure they'll notice if (when?) I'm successful, but I just don't want that spotlight on me right now- I feel too vunerable.
Yuk, wish I'd not got myself into this mess, I hope the crash ain't too bad but I have a feeling there is a lot of Excedrin PM in my future.
thanks for listening,
New and Nervous

Hi Roandlan,
You're not so different from the rest of us, especially when we first gave up drugs. You're just used to hugging onto something that is slowly eating away at you emotionally and physically. I think you've made a brave decision to come here with the intent of letting it all hang out so that you can be healthy again. That's what we do here.
It sounds like you've accomplished a lot in your life. None of that will help you now. You're going to have to explore new territory and learn what it is that has made your drinking progress. And then you'll have to learn a lot of behavior modification strategies to keep you from drinking irresponsibly or not at all if that's what you choose.
We hope we can help you with all of this. Everyone has different strategies so it's good not to compare your progress with everyone else's. Just getting through each day using whichever tools you develop is pretty much the way we try to do it. There's websites for Alcoholics Anonymous, Recovery Resource Center, Life Ring Secular, Moderation Management, SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety, SOS, and others which provide a lot of help.
Let us know what we can do to help.
Sandy

Hi and Welcome!
 

Hi, I'm Ken -- I am an alcoholic!

Nope, we are pretty much all the same in one way or another. I drank beer, you drank wine, someone else drank vodka. I functioned pretty well in life as well, great job, home, family, etc. Once I stopped the physical crap (dumping copious amounts of beer, alcohol, sleeping pills, etc.) into my body, I found out that alcohol is a symptom of everything else. Now I have physical sobriety (absence of booze), need to work on the others (for me, that's emotional sobriety, mental sobriety and spiritual sobriety). Please note that I said "spiritual," as opposed to religious....

For me, AA was the way to go. Lots of drunks like me who became sober (all of the above categories). It's probably not how you think. Just the other day my wife asked what I said when I got up on the podium :lol: !!! Definitely not what people think. PM any one of us in the AA forum if you have any questions, or just post down there. No rules or regulations, just a desire to not drink. Period.

Either way you go, I hope you will keep posting here. For me, I have to keep in mind that my children need me to suit up and show up every day, and I just wasn't doing that in my drinking days (which weren't that long ago, BTW).

So, use us, abuse us, just don't lose us! OK, don't abuse us -- just thought the rhyme was cool!

Keep us posted on your progress, and congrats on deciding that today's THE DAY! Great stuff!

Ken

Ok found this website, NEED it badly!!! I sooo need to tell somebody, anybody, I am an addict to cocaine in any form, esp in rock form. I am an alcoholic. Dry almost 10 years now, but the coke, now I do not ever remember my withdrawals being this bad on the bourbon. Hell who knows, memory is not so good either. I am scared to death that cold turkey with this is going to kill me. At least the withdrawals are.
At least, the fevers, the nausea, the shakes, the crying, the depression, the headaches, etc.....

WELCOME GLAD YOUR HERE.
WILLINGNESS IS THE KEY.
STAY STRONG STICK AROUND,GET WELL..........ted :wave:

Hi Cherokee,
Welcome to SR. Ted's right. You can do it. You made a doctor's help during withdrawal. Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
Sandy