Anyone turned there life around after middle aged sobriety?
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: London
Posts: 170
Anyone turned there life around after middle aged sobriety?
I have wasted a huge chunk of my life, by basically being wasted more or less every day since being a teenager.
I have dropped most of my addictions and am in the process of becoming free from all my demons, the last few years i drank and drugged indoors so my criminal convictions are all clear, which will help should I look for better work.
when I stopped drinking over two years ago I sort of lost something, my confidence dropped aswell. My brain also still feels misty but im stil taking painkillers.
Once that last habit is kicked I really want to do something with my life, maybe go back to school, restart hobbies, make some money
I lost all my friends when I stopped going out and have little contact with the small amount of family I have, its just me,my girlfriend and my dogs
nothing holding me here or back, but im not sure what to do or how to gk about it, id like to see or a link to any success stories, even outside of uk, I need inspiration and ideas, thanks for reading.
I have dropped most of my addictions and am in the process of becoming free from all my demons, the last few years i drank and drugged indoors so my criminal convictions are all clear, which will help should I look for better work.
when I stopped drinking over two years ago I sort of lost something, my confidence dropped aswell. My brain also still feels misty but im stil taking painkillers.
Once that last habit is kicked I really want to do something with my life, maybe go back to school, restart hobbies, make some money
I lost all my friends when I stopped going out and have little contact with the small amount of family I have, its just me,my girlfriend and my dogs
nothing holding me here or back, but im not sure what to do or how to gk about it, id like to see or a link to any success stories, even outside of uk, I need inspiration and ideas, thanks for reading.
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Here you go friend tbh stick around youl start seeing it regularly first hand
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Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
(links to help build a plan & other useful links)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
What's middle aged?
I got sober at 36, having spent most of my life in Minneapolis and Chicago, USA. I am now 40 years old, and I've done something I always wanted to do: move abroad. I've been living in Central America for close to 2 years now. I rented a house in the mountains, bought a truck, and these days I often spend my weekends driving down to the Pacific or up the Caribbean on weekends. I travel outside of this country every 3 months to renew my Visa, that means long weekends in Mexico, Costa Rica, etc. I'm flying down to the Panama border for xMas and will be spending some time on a group of tiny islands. My job is 100% virtual so as long as I have good WiFi and a quiet workspace, I can work and make money.
I hope to maybe open up a small B&B or travel cafe someday down in this part of the world. In short, my life is much different and quite turned around in sobriety.
As good as that all sounds, life is not perfect. But I like it. And no matter what, remember that you have to bring YOURSELF with you, wherever you go. Make peace with yourself, accept yourself, and be kind to yourself. You can do whatever you want, man. Taking action is important. Sitting around thinking about it can be fun. But if you really want change, you've got to take action and grab that inspiration. Run with it. You'll have doubts along the way, but don't be afraid. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Good luck!
I got sober at 36, having spent most of my life in Minneapolis and Chicago, USA. I am now 40 years old, and I've done something I always wanted to do: move abroad. I've been living in Central America for close to 2 years now. I rented a house in the mountains, bought a truck, and these days I often spend my weekends driving down to the Pacific or up the Caribbean on weekends. I travel outside of this country every 3 months to renew my Visa, that means long weekends in Mexico, Costa Rica, etc. I'm flying down to the Panama border for xMas and will be spending some time on a group of tiny islands. My job is 100% virtual so as long as I have good WiFi and a quiet workspace, I can work and make money.
I hope to maybe open up a small B&B or travel cafe someday down in this part of the world. In short, my life is much different and quite turned around in sobriety.
As good as that all sounds, life is not perfect. But I like it. And no matter what, remember that you have to bring YOURSELF with you, wherever you go. Make peace with yourself, accept yourself, and be kind to yourself. You can do whatever you want, man. Taking action is important. Sitting around thinking about it can be fun. But if you really want change, you've got to take action and grab that inspiration. Run with it. You'll have doubts along the way, but don't be afraid. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Good luck!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
when I stopped drinking over two years ago I sort of lost something, my confidence dropped aswell
I'm only a few weeks in but can definitely relate to this - stopped drinking previously and felt nothing but elation and well being - this time I've sunk down so far and feeling myself wanting away from people with the exception of my wife and daughter - distancing myself from all of those I enjoyed the drink and drugs with I guess, problem being the lads in the office are all good mates who have been out with for many years too and I'm struggling to communicate with them at present - just sat here in the corner saying nothing.
I'm only a few weeks in but can definitely relate to this - stopped drinking previously and felt nothing but elation and well being - this time I've sunk down so far and feeling myself wanting away from people with the exception of my wife and daughter - distancing myself from all of those I enjoyed the drink and drugs with I guess, problem being the lads in the office are all good mates who have been out with for many years too and I'm struggling to communicate with them at present - just sat here in the corner saying nothing.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
What's middle aged?
I got sober at 36, having spent most of my life in Minneapolis and Chicago, USA. I am now 40 years old, and I've done something I always wanted to do: move abroad. I've been living in Central America for close to 2 years now. I rented a house in the mountains, bought a truck, and these days I often spend my weekends driving down to the Pacific or up the Caribbean on weekends. I travel outside of this country every 3 months to renew my Visa, that means long weekends in Mexico, Costa Rica, etc. I'm flying down to the Panama border for xMas and will be spending some time on a group of tiny islands. My job is 100% virtual so as long as I have good WiFi and a quiet workspace, I can work and make money.
I hope to maybe open up a small B&B or travel cafe someday down in this part of the world. In short, my life is much different and quite turned around in sobriety.
You can do whatever you want, man. Taking action is important. Sitting around thinking about it can be fun. But if you really want change, you've got to take action and grab that inspiration. Run with it. You'll have doubts along the way, but don't be afraid. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Good luck!
I got sober at 36, having spent most of my life in Minneapolis and Chicago, USA. I am now 40 years old, and I've done something I always wanted to do: move abroad. I've been living in Central America for close to 2 years now. I rented a house in the mountains, bought a truck, and these days I often spend my weekends driving down to the Pacific or up the Caribbean on weekends. I travel outside of this country every 3 months to renew my Visa, that means long weekends in Mexico, Costa Rica, etc. I'm flying down to the Panama border for xMas and will be spending some time on a group of tiny islands. My job is 100% virtual so as long as I have good WiFi and a quiet workspace, I can work and make money.
I hope to maybe open up a small B&B or travel cafe someday down in this part of the world. In short, my life is much different and quite turned around in sobriety.
You can do whatever you want, man. Taking action is important. Sitting around thinking about it can be fun. But if you really want change, you've got to take action and grab that inspiration. Run with it. You'll have doubts along the way, but don't be afraid. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Good luck!
The final quote though has always been my mantra and reasoning as to being out of control - only here once and going to do whatever I want. I guess I now need to put that into practice for all the right reasons.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Originally Posted by IWalkTheLine
id like to see or a link to any success stories, even outside of uk, I need inspiration and ideas, thanks for reading.
I personally drank for 2 decades plus and lost a lot during that time. I quit in my 40's and the change has been nothing short of a miracle. I'm healtier, happier, more peaceful.
Granted, there is no magic pill or formula to instantly change things. It requires hard work and for many some kind of formal program. Have you ever tried meeting based recovery or rehab/therapy?
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
I am one of those folks who hates -- hates! -- disclosing her age here. But I definitely, sigh, am middle-aged. (I can vaguely remember the pre-breakup Beatles.)
And I definitely, yay!, turned my life around in middle age. I've been sober 2.25 years. You can do this.
And I definitely, yay!, turned my life around in middle age. I've been sober 2.25 years. You can do this.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by RedAndy
The final quote though has always been my mantra and reasoning as to being out of control - only here once and going to do whatever I want.
Eventually, those escapades became life-threatening. My quality of life had diminished severely. Every drink I took was literally stealing part of the precious time I have left on this earth.
I'd danced with the devil long enough. I know the steps by heart. It was time for a new path. That's when the scales tipped, and "you only live once" became a strong motto for my sobriety.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Originally Posted by bigsombrero
I agree that "you only live once" can be a dangerous motto! It certainly was a catalyst for many of my drunken escapades.
Eventually, those escapades became life-threatening. My quality of life had diminished severely. Every drink I took was literally stealing part of the precious time I have left on this earth.
I'd danced with the devil long enough. I know the steps by heart. It was time for a new path. That's when the scales tipped, and "you only live once" became a strong motto for my sobriety.
Eventually, those escapades became life-threatening. My quality of life had diminished severely. Every drink I took was literally stealing part of the precious time I have left on this earth.
I'd danced with the devil long enough. I know the steps by heart. It was time for a new path. That's when the scales tipped, and "you only live once" became a strong motto for my sobriety.
Absolutely spot on - I've certainly done enough to last me a lifetime and some more. I'm heading down that new path and not looking back.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
Lots of good leads for inspiration already. Something caught my eye:
> when I stopped drinking over two years ago I sort of lost something, my confidence dropped aswell.
hmmm. Are you doing something that you love doing everyday?
After 20 years of drinking I didn't have any other loves besides alcohol, or so I thought. But they were there, I just needed to discover them again. It felt kind like discovering an old well loved stuffed animal in my parents attic that was long forgotten.
Once I figured out what I loved doing, being sober became a whole new ball game.
Congrats on quitting drinking. What's your plan for stopping the last addiction?
> when I stopped drinking over two years ago I sort of lost something, my confidence dropped aswell.
hmmm. Are you doing something that you love doing everyday?
After 20 years of drinking I didn't have any other loves besides alcohol, or so I thought. But they were there, I just needed to discover them again. It felt kind like discovering an old well loved stuffed animal in my parents attic that was long forgotten.
Once I figured out what I loved doing, being sober became a whole new ball game.
Congrats on quitting drinking. What's your plan for stopping the last addiction?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
I quit drinking when I was 40. I've been sober just over a year. Sobriety has turned my life around.
As a youngster I had a lot of dreams. I was an avid reader and was going to learn languages and travel the world. Instead a lot of the time from age 25 to 40 was largely spent in a fog of partying, alcohol hangovers, drug comedowns and declining mental, physical and emotional health. I flunked out of university after being an honours student with a perfect grade point average up to my 3rd year of a pre-medical degree. I neglected my relationship with my spouse. I stagnated at work. At my best I spent hungover days at work and trudged home for another drunken evening. At my worst I went to low places and did low things. I eventually felt dead inside and believed that I was lost to myself forever and that early death was inevitable.
What has happened in 1 year of sobriety is beyond my own comprehension. I am happy, healthy and engaged with life. My spouse and I have fallen in love all over again, and laughter, affection and smiles that were lost are a part of our relationship again. I've started to realize my childhood dreams. This year we visited Hong Kong, Thailand and Myanmar. Next year we're taking my aging parents on a road trip of Iceland. The year after we're planning to visit Vietnam & Cambodia. I am back into reading, and read on average a book a month. I study French and Mandarin Chinese. I may never be fluent, but it's fun. At work I've gone from being documented as "low growth potential" to getting two significant pay increases and given a people management role where I hired my first employee two months ago. I could keep going on, but most of all the spark of life is back. I don't feel dead inside. I make plans for the future because I expect I'll be here to realize them.
My story isn't to say it's always easy. I still deal with fears and anxieties. Sometimes sobriety doesn't seem fair. Some days after a hard day at work I want nothing more than to sink into the couch with a vodka in hand and go to la-la land. Sometimes I catch myself indulging in fantasies about drinking again in the future. But I live with the knowledge that even in my fantasies it's never just one drink. It's never just a buzz. It's never enough until the bottle is gone and there is a plan to find more.
As a youngster I had a lot of dreams. I was an avid reader and was going to learn languages and travel the world. Instead a lot of the time from age 25 to 40 was largely spent in a fog of partying, alcohol hangovers, drug comedowns and declining mental, physical and emotional health. I flunked out of university after being an honours student with a perfect grade point average up to my 3rd year of a pre-medical degree. I neglected my relationship with my spouse. I stagnated at work. At my best I spent hungover days at work and trudged home for another drunken evening. At my worst I went to low places and did low things. I eventually felt dead inside and believed that I was lost to myself forever and that early death was inevitable.
What has happened in 1 year of sobriety is beyond my own comprehension. I am happy, healthy and engaged with life. My spouse and I have fallen in love all over again, and laughter, affection and smiles that were lost are a part of our relationship again. I've started to realize my childhood dreams. This year we visited Hong Kong, Thailand and Myanmar. Next year we're taking my aging parents on a road trip of Iceland. The year after we're planning to visit Vietnam & Cambodia. I am back into reading, and read on average a book a month. I study French and Mandarin Chinese. I may never be fluent, but it's fun. At work I've gone from being documented as "low growth potential" to getting two significant pay increases and given a people management role where I hired my first employee two months ago. I could keep going on, but most of all the spark of life is back. I don't feel dead inside. I make plans for the future because I expect I'll be here to realize them.
My story isn't to say it's always easy. I still deal with fears and anxieties. Sometimes sobriety doesn't seem fair. Some days after a hard day at work I want nothing more than to sink into the couch with a vodka in hand and go to la-la land. Sometimes I catch myself indulging in fantasies about drinking again in the future. But I live with the knowledge that even in my fantasies it's never just one drink. It's never just a buzz. It's never enough until the bottle is gone and there is a plan to find more.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 18
Going back to school/ Uni should help develop your confidence and widen your circle of friends.
On a Masters course I completed a couple of years ago ( I'm middle aged BTW!!!), there were 2 students in their mid 60's who hadn't studied for years. They loved the course and were a great asset because of their life experiences ( some of which had been very challenging!)
You are NEVER too old to learn.....give it a go!
Take care
TC x
On a Masters course I completed a couple of years ago ( I'm middle aged BTW!!!), there were 2 students in their mid 60's who hadn't studied for years. They loved the course and were a great asset because of their life experiences ( some of which had been very challenging!)
You are NEVER too old to learn.....give it a go!
Take care
TC x
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Welcome ,
Im 59 and ive had it with booze. I dont feel as sharp physically or mentally as I did and have aches and pains in places I never knew existed so adding booze to this is something I no longer want to do if i'm to enjoy the later years of life .
As was said above every time I drank it took a valuable chuck of time off me .
Im 59 and ive had it with booze. I dont feel as sharp physically or mentally as I did and have aches and pains in places I never knew existed so adding booze to this is something I no longer want to do if i'm to enjoy the later years of life .
As was said above every time I drank it took a valuable chuck of time off me .
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Im not middle aged statistically I guess, but Im not 25 anymore either....
My life is so much better when Im not drinking. No I dont live on an island (JEALOUS!!!!!!), and I go to work everyday from 8-5, and I have obligations etc, but I dont fear as much anymore. I dont worry about if I am going somewhere will they serve alcohol, or can I bring in a flask or something to that extent, or should I get high before I go... So in a sense I am free.
I am more productive. I have a little side hobby that makes me some extra money that I can actually now crank out projects a lot faster than if I were drinking. If I were drinking I'd be able to do a few things but it would take forever since I would be constantly rechecking things because I forgot if I had done them or not.
I spend more time with my family. I enjoy the beauties of the outdoors more... I dunno, do you call that a success story? Maybe. But to me it is a success. Wish you the best in finding what makes you happy.
My life is so much better when Im not drinking. No I dont live on an island (JEALOUS!!!!!!), and I go to work everyday from 8-5, and I have obligations etc, but I dont fear as much anymore. I dont worry about if I am going somewhere will they serve alcohol, or can I bring in a flask or something to that extent, or should I get high before I go... So in a sense I am free.
I am more productive. I have a little side hobby that makes me some extra money that I can actually now crank out projects a lot faster than if I were drinking. If I were drinking I'd be able to do a few things but it would take forever since I would be constantly rechecking things because I forgot if I had done them or not.
I spend more time with my family. I enjoy the beauties of the outdoors more... I dunno, do you call that a success story? Maybe. But to me it is a success. Wish you the best in finding what makes you happy.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Hey mate,
Seems like plenty of people quit a little later in life. I was 37 and now 42.
Life still throws plenty of sh*t at me, but I am now able to dodge it without falling over and throwing up in my wife's shoes.
I'm not fearful or hopeless as I was. I am nicer to be around and much more reliable. I am less cynical and more positive.
Best of luck!
Max
Seems like plenty of people quit a little later in life. I was 37 and now 42.
Life still throws plenty of sh*t at me, but I am now able to dodge it without falling over and throwing up in my wife's shoes.
I'm not fearful or hopeless as I was. I am nicer to be around and much more reliable. I am less cynical and more positive.
Best of luck!
Max
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
hmm.... am I middle-aged?
Anyway, I finally got sober at 41.
In under two years I became debt free for the first time in my adult life.
In under two years, I became wildly more peaceful and happy with my life as it is.
I changed to a job that was more manageable and enjoyable.
I deepened my life and my relationship and improved my ability to be the best father I can be.
I improved my relationships with my family.
I got healthier.
I worked through a lot of things emotionally and learned to start growing again as a human being.
I haven't totally shifted my life to a "do what you love" dream come true.... but I'm doing a lot more what I love, and I'm more able to find peace and even enjoyment in what I am currently doing (career wise) more than ever before.
I have expanded interests and more time to pursue them.
I feel better about myself than ever.
I am more useful and valuable to those I love and to my community.
I have self-respect and am there for others who need me.
Is this a turnaround at midlife? I donno.....
But whatever we call it, it's been pretty fantastic to me.
Anyway, I finally got sober at 41.
In under two years I became debt free for the first time in my adult life.
In under two years, I became wildly more peaceful and happy with my life as it is.
I changed to a job that was more manageable and enjoyable.
I deepened my life and my relationship and improved my ability to be the best father I can be.
I improved my relationships with my family.
I got healthier.
I worked through a lot of things emotionally and learned to start growing again as a human being.
I haven't totally shifted my life to a "do what you love" dream come true.... but I'm doing a lot more what I love, and I'm more able to find peace and even enjoyment in what I am currently doing (career wise) more than ever before.
I have expanded interests and more time to pursue them.
I feel better about myself than ever.
I am more useful and valuable to those I love and to my community.
I have self-respect and am there for others who need me.
Is this a turnaround at midlife? I donno.....
But whatever we call it, it's been pretty fantastic to me.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
I quit at 50 and 4.5 years later, I have rebuilt my life. I know others have done similar things as well.
Yes, we can rebuild or build a life sober and have fun doing it, but first we really need to be completely free of alcohol and drugs, other than what is prescribed by a doctor.....
Yes, we can rebuild or build a life sober and have fun doing it, but first we really need to be completely free of alcohol and drugs, other than what is prescribed by a doctor.....
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