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Old 11-30-2015, 05:07 AM
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Advice / help

Has anyone got any tips on how to manage social anxiety and also depression?

At the moment I'm most anxious at work and with my daughter.

Those following my posts will know I've had problems most of this year.

Part of the problem is me not understanding how to address anxiety when it occurs. This then leads me to criticising myself and continues the depression.

I would appreciate input from anyone who can relate to this. I am taking medication but I'm no longer prepared to "wait for it to kick in". I understand that a lot of it lies with me
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Old 11-30-2015, 05:59 AM
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Hi Stewy,

Sorry to hear of your situation, I'm sure things will get better soon.
One thing I do know about depression is that things are never as bad as they appear.

I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with social anxiety but the Black Dog has been a faithful companion to me for more years than I care to remember, often accompanied by my own thoughts and fears about the future.

Over time I've managed my depression by taking a few precautionary measures and a cocktail of natural supplements.

Here's a few things that have helped me (I've tried prescription meds on several occasions and I just can't get on with them), some or all of the points will be familiar to you if you've ever googled depression.....that's because they work.

HTP5 has worked miracles for me. My general anxiety is now next to zero and I don't fret about the future. This supplement alone has changed my life.
I also take fish oils, turmeric and a vits and mins supplement.
I've given up booze.
I eat lots of dark green veg. If I'm down and I add cavolo nero to my diet, I feel my mood lift instantly. Don't underestimate the importance of vegetables to mental well being.
Exercise.
I practise (sorry, that a massive exaggeration, I TRY and practise) mindfulness. Google it, it's a hot topic at the moment but it works for sure. Practise, practise, practise it.
I try and focus on the positives in my life, not the negatives. I look at what is going right for me and what isn't.
I've given up listening to the news - it's just depressing.
I try and be productive. If I'm "doing" I'm not "thinking", and I really, really need to think less, is that the same for you?
"Doing" things "mindfully" is the holy grail.


I've learned to be kind to myself, this is very hard for me but I try and give myself love. So for you this might be "acceptance". Accept that your social anxiety is a natural extension of your personality. Learn to embrace it as part of you and not beat yourself up about it. As you've said, for you (and for me), the beatings you are giving yourself are what leads to the depression.


There's more you can do I'm sure but this is what has worked for me.

To put it in perspective, I'm now pretty ok with my life at the moment but historically I've tried to comit suicide once, I was almost sectioned on a different occasion and I've planned suicide on a regular basis over the years.

Good luck to you, do one thing at a time and see what works.
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Old 11-30-2015, 06:07 AM
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I've also regulated my caffeine intake. Two cups of coffee in the morning and that's it. I used to drink gallons of the stuff.
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Old 11-30-2015, 06:08 AM
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Stewy, have you tried mindful meditation? I started about 3 months ago and it is helping. When I catch my mind running away with how awful everything is I can usually bring myself back to the rational thought that it's really not all that bad.
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Old 11-30-2015, 06:31 AM
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Stewy if I'm honest every time I go out my stress levels rise and sometimes i suffer dizziness heart palpitations & sweat my gosh do I sweat I think my therapist calls it nervous sweating were working through it but goals based on me going out dont solve that problem so a couple of things I suggest that I do are

Reading, meditating & breathing exercises - this hasn't solved the problem but it helps esp the reading up on this ie read Lucinda Barrett's panic to power

I'm having more success with this low dose celexa than I did with either setraline or venlafaxine I felt the same recently and wanted off meds a few times as I didn't think it was working but I kept being brutally honest with my Dr and telling her everything

she asked me to hang in there she says its normally a month for meds to bed in so its not that long I get your frustrated but honestly hang in there

Stopping meds can be highly dangerous I don't have the only cousin I ever looked up to because of stopping his meds & getting made redundant

He had it all Stewy or so I thought so one thing I deeply congratulate you on is coming here and talking about it
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Old 11-30-2015, 06:42 AM
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Do you see a therapist Stewy? There's several methods that you could try, although not each one works for every person. CBT therapy is one, Mindfulness and Meditation is another popular one. Talk therapy itself can be helpful as well.

I personally have anxiety too, lots of good suggestions here already. I'm very, very sensitive to caffeine after quitting alcohol, I try to avoid it as much as possible. Getting enough sleep is important too, i'm more anxious on days that I don't sleep well.
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Old 11-30-2015, 07:59 AM
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Stewy, this will sound simple, but it works. I need this and use it and it works.

Belly Breath: Breath in and allow the air to fill up your tummy until it expands a bit. Then, exhale slowly through your mouth using your belly to push the air out. If you do three of those in a row, you will calm down. The thing about anxiety is that your breathing automatically becomes shallow and quick and that makes things worse. You can do this!
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Old 12-01-2015, 09:56 AM
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Thank you all for your advice which I will look to implement.

Had another rotten day anxiety wise. Someone put me on the spot in training today a colleague of mine who I play footie with obviously he has no idea of my anxiety troubles. Put a big piece of flip chart paper in front of me to present to the group. I stumbled through it.

It took me off guard and it was extremely difficult because at the moment I'm not thinking clearly, my thoughts are very foggy which is something that does frustrate me especially at work when I need to communicate coherently.

It feeds the anxiety more when this happens

Can anyone relate to this? I'm wondering if it's still start up effects from the sertraline that they may be playing a factor

Thanks

Stewy
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Old 12-01-2015, 12:53 PM
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My experience of setraline was it worked then it didn't ultimately it made me sleepy
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Old 12-01-2015, 02:55 PM
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Hey Stewy,

Considering you've been remaining Sober throughout this year with all the stress at work and everything you've expressed in your posts don't beat yourself up, give yourself some amazing credit for continually to seek support and making it through.

In some ways, reaching out has been the solution, amongst all the other suggestions posted.

For me it took time, adjusting to life without alcohol, and I'm still on that curve, change of routines, change of diet, sleep, caffeine intake, learning to relax, do things that I enjoy, learning again what I even enjoy doing.

SR is in your corner Stewy!!
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Old 12-01-2015, 08:44 PM
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I completely relate to social anxiety and anxiety in general. A friend told me, and I agree, that a lot of it comes from lack of confidence in myself.

When panicky feelings hit, tell yourself things like,"I can handle this. I'm strong and I can handle anything. I'm awesome." Be real egotistical until the nervousness goes away. Notice how people with tremendous egos don't usually have social anxiety? .

I've gotten rid of stress related chest pains by engaging in this ultra confident type of thinking for a few minutes.
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Old 12-01-2015, 09:50 PM
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Hi Stewy, thanks so much for this thread! I have anxiety and depression too, and they feed off each other in the way you described. I'm not on meds but I am in the process of learning to deal with my anxiety. When I get really anxious it feels as if my mind gets really small and I can barely do anything, it's awful.

Right now I'm seeing a therapist and am part of a meditation community (Shambhala). Both things have helped to an extent. I am also reading a book called Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and would really recommend it. I've realized that I have to relearn how to relate to myself. I'm very hard on myself, and it's quite difficult to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time. Part of that is connecting to what I am actually feeling in my body and thinking in my mind. Years of numbing with booze has made this feel awkward and unnatural for me, but it's a skill set that CAN be learned. For me the anxiety may not go away fully, but it can get better and more managable with practice. Honestly I still struggle a lot but with the support systems have definitely lightened the load a bit, and I hope this will continue to improve the more I work and practice. I hope this helps, please know you are not alone in this. Way to reach out, and keep on keepin' on!
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Old 12-01-2015, 11:23 PM
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post



HTP5 has worked miracles for me. My general anxiety is now next to zero and I don't fret about the future. This supplement alone has changed my life.
All really good advice you gave Tufty, I too like to use vitamins and natural supplements.

I do need to point out though- as I was just researching this myself as I found a bottle in my medicine drawer- HTP5 is a great supplement but can interfere with a LOT of other medications and complicate other issues. It was also explicitly stated that it should never be used in conjunction with alcohol, and most sites recommended a dry period of at least 6-12 hours before taking it.
It is definitely a supplement that one should ask their doctor about before taking as the list of interactions is huge.
That said, it does seem like a fantastic help to a lot of people, the reviews are great. I am glad it is working for you!
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Old 12-01-2015, 11:33 PM
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Wishing you a better day today
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Old 12-03-2015, 05:07 AM
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Thank you everyone for your advice and support. I really appreciate it

Stewy
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