Sean30

I sit here so frustrated with the stupitidy of my thought process. I am at day 5 sober, just clear of the shakes and with enough confidence to venture outside my place, yet I am so tempted to have another drink it's overwhelming. See I know what will happen if I do have that first drink. The madness followed by the sickness and sadness but my thoughts won't leave me alone. Have a drink!!!! It will be ok. It's just insanity and it's so frustrating. So taxing on my mental health.
Honestly I just want to feel that feeling of intoxication and not the way I feel now sober and in very early recovery.
Thanks for reading, Mabye someone out there is going through the same thing..

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Sean!!

IronPhoenix

Welcome Sean! It is a vicious cycle we put ourselves through. binge drinking followed by sadness/embarrassment/self loathing. It is a cycle that compounds over time - the time to break that cycle is now. I am new here and have a plan to break the cycle.

- counseling sessions
- AA meetings
- This forum
- Talking with friends who have quit drinking
- changing daily routines

Get a plan together and you can do this. Tons of support here!

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Sean.

We understand; most of us have been where you are now.

Stick with it; sobriety gets better and better.

sillysuzanfree

I went through the vicious cycle many times! Would also get about 5 days, start feeling better and then want to drink again...but you already know what will happen if you do...so don't...go out and get a hot choc...find a mtg anywhere to sit in on...call someone.
It does get easier!

Dee74

The support here made all the difference to me Sean - I hope it can for you too.
Post around, ask questions, see what others are doing...above all never pick up that next drink, and you'll be ok.

D

Sean30

I wrote that first post sitting at a train station waiting to go home. Literally the whole trip home was an internal battle. I prayed to god to remove this urge, to get me through today ect ect. My head was a battle between logic and well basically f*** it.
Well I got home and had a shower then went over to the supermarket with a plan to spend my last $25 on food, this forcing me into a position to not be able to even if I wanted to. There is a bottle shop next door. As I walked towards both I headed towards the bottle shop then stopped dead at the door. I then went into the supermarket quickly stuffing items into my basket. Then again I stopped. And I left the basket on the ground and walked out of the supermarket right into the bottle shop and brought grog.
I am exhausted an so dissapointed with myself. How does this happen? How can one lose the internal battle when logic prevails every time?? I don't know. I just want to be sober but as so many know. It's so hard. Sorry to dissapoint but thank you so much for your posts.

SoberLeigh

We have been where you are, Sean; we understand.

Have you considered joining an SR Class? I'll send you a link in a moment.

SoberLeigh

Here is the link to the Class of December 2015:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2015-a.html

SoberLeigh

Here are some other really great links:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ependence.html

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

MariahGayle

Don' t give up Sean....tomorrow is a new day. Start again, we are here to support you

least

Welcome to the family. It's an awful feeling, having that horrible urge to do something we know is bad for us. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

red3215

The urges won't last. And if you don't drink you'll be SO GLAD you didn't give in.