thomas11

Hi Worried, even though you made a mistake, by the tone of your posts, you seem to have a pretty good handle on it. You fully understand what you did was inappropriate, you also understand it wasn't you, it was drunk you, and you are going to a meeting. Good job. I say make a professional apology, create some clear boundaries for yourself and professional life. Wish you the best.

Berrybean

You don't have to take a drink today. Or any day. The way those people at the meeting got better wasn't by 'trying not to drink'. They got better by accepting that it was the first drink that does the damage, because we are powerless over alcohol, and drinking it makes out life unmanageable.

This is some more info on Step 1 (from the 12 and 12). It's quite enlightening... http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf

The other reading material that is short but massively helpful is the book Living Sober. If they had a literature table at your meeting last night you may have seen it. You can get it from meetings or on-line from AA or from Amazon (cheap as chips and full of wisdom and tips for daily living).

Soberwolf

Meetings help

Worried75

Hear you all - no drink today

JD

Great job on day 2!

Worried75

Am getting some very dirty looks at work - feel ashamed and like a leper right now :-(

Berrybean

Well. You can't change the past, or leap to the future. Deep breaths, and summon as much grace and dignity as you can muster to get through the day, focussing on your work - keeping your side of the street as clean as you can from one moment to the next.

Not much consolation, and it won't feel like it now, but This Will Pass. They will find something or someone else to worry about after a while, as long as things stay calm and you don't go adding any fuel to the fire by reacting to it. You have apologised, and that it all you can do for now, apart from behave in a professional way from now onwards.

TheRake

Just wondering.....if it was a flirty conversation did she not play her part? how come you have instant messenger of a work mate?

But yeah, alcohol or no alcohol, best to stay clear of workplace "romances" as a rule!

Could be worse....you could have ended up in a relationship with her

Worried75

We have instant messenger for internal comms - it was flirty - as I said it was in no way harassing but was inappropriate - I looked at the message again on the sunday and she ended it by replying in a normal manner so I didn't worry about it too much. But did apologise anyway.

She has flirted with me a lot in the past but all quite light heartedly.

Anyway as I said she was very abrupt with me yesterday - which in a way was a good thing as made me realise how much damage getting drunk was doing. A couple of other female colleagues are now no longer speaking to me as well. If any of them complains is instant dismissal for me.

But c'est la vie - I will take beccybeans advice and try to keep my head down - literally - and hope it all blows over

TheRake

Alcohol aside....

It sounds like you're taking all the blame for the situation. Your mistake IMO was writing an apology by email on Sunday. You've taken all the blame and put it in writing. She sounds like, she likes the attention and the drama...

Some of the others are not talking to you? Herd mentality.

If you've flirted before and she was a willing participant....you haven't done anything "wrong". Don't let the drama queen play you. Punish her with the whip of indifference...

But best not **** where you eat.....give them no amunition.

ardy

Hi Worried you wordy beast you... ah what I would give to have my boss flirt instead of treat this 65 year old Lady as a child.. what to do in todays world.. ekkekekke.... Billie Burke would have had a great line for your effort..
kiddo don't drink at work.. and when drinking forget where you put the phone .. or computer or laptop... will keep you out of trouble. maybe.. sorry...
miss the days of as they said back when I was young tit for tat.. and all of that... maybe she is interested in you as more then just a co-worker... younger then you??? maybe sees a great gent in you for so many reasons.. sorry all have a 1940's comedy playing in my ear.. miss those days so much.. hugs kiddo relax and be a great gent and you will be all right.. promise..

dcg

It's kind of a leap to be calling her a drama queen. We don't know what he said to her exactly nor if her previous flirty behavior was her flirting with him or him misconstruing benign complimentary comments as being flirtatious.

As for putting the blame in email, well, he says there's no question that the texts contained inappropriate material, so all that ****/guilt is in the work logs anyway. Good on him to own up, I say, but now stay away and keep all discourse to necessary work directives.

Dee74

I removed some posts.
Let's stick to the OP and recovery

Dee
Moderator
SR

Dee74

I was the neighbourhood drunk - that guy people crossed the street to avoid.

If I can come back from that and rebuild my reputation, you certainly can come back from this, Worried

D

wehav2day

Worried, Whats done is done. Stay sober and behave like the standup guy you typically are, and you'll be fine.

Worried75

Really piased right now - nothing ever goes right so what's the point ?

Soberwolf

So you stay out of trouble for one what's up ?

jryan19982

What happened? We are all here to listen.

Worried75

I just got very very angry do I drank

JD

I'm safe to say that wasn't the smartest thing you did today. Why don't you stop now and see what tomorrow brings. Drinking isn't going to make your life better.