Day 10
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
Day 10
Day 10. Not bad eh? So far so good.
I have no else to talk to, so please bare with me whilst I ramble a little...
It's going pretty good, all things considered. The chronic insomnia seems to have passed, although the disturbing dreams haven't.
No apparent physical withdrawal symptoms, which surprises me a little, but not complaining.
This AV thing does drive me nuts at times though! One minute you're feeling great and proud of what you've accomplished... the thought of having a drink is genuinely abhorrent - 30 minutes later and you're thinking well maybe this total abstinence thing is a bit OTT and moderation would be far more sensible...
I know this is not news, that it is very atypical. Atypical or not, it's driving me nuts at times!
I am not looking forward to the coming weeks. My partner has already announced she will be out on work related socials at least 6 nights over the next 3 weeks. All focused on free booze. Part of me is jealous, part of me doesn't care. Which part of me will win on the nights she is out and I'm alone home with an off-licence literally over the road?
The crazy thing is that when I was drinking, and my partner was out for the night, I would wake up the next morning angry with myself because I hadn't made the most of some time to myself. I would look forward to listening to some music by myself, or watching a movie, or playing some xbox.
But I'd drink too much to be capable of playing video games, or being able to concentrate on even the most basic plot of a movie. Listening to music was a bit easier to achieve, but what's the point when you look at the empty cd cases the next morning and can't remember listening to half of them?
Not sure what point I'm trying to make here! My partner's first social engagement is tomorrow night. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm both excited at the prospect of doing things I couldn't acheive before, and scared that the AV will invade my thoughts and I'll succumb.
Who knows? Hopefully all will be fine and I'll be slightly embarrassed for posting this thread.
I'm a logical kind of person. I like logic. At the moment I'm not finding this process one little bit logical at all!
I have no else to talk to, so please bare with me whilst I ramble a little...
It's going pretty good, all things considered. The chronic insomnia seems to have passed, although the disturbing dreams haven't.
No apparent physical withdrawal symptoms, which surprises me a little, but not complaining.
This AV thing does drive me nuts at times though! One minute you're feeling great and proud of what you've accomplished... the thought of having a drink is genuinely abhorrent - 30 minutes later and you're thinking well maybe this total abstinence thing is a bit OTT and moderation would be far more sensible...
I know this is not news, that it is very atypical. Atypical or not, it's driving me nuts at times!
I am not looking forward to the coming weeks. My partner has already announced she will be out on work related socials at least 6 nights over the next 3 weeks. All focused on free booze. Part of me is jealous, part of me doesn't care. Which part of me will win on the nights she is out and I'm alone home with an off-licence literally over the road?
The crazy thing is that when I was drinking, and my partner was out for the night, I would wake up the next morning angry with myself because I hadn't made the most of some time to myself. I would look forward to listening to some music by myself, or watching a movie, or playing some xbox.
But I'd drink too much to be capable of playing video games, or being able to concentrate on even the most basic plot of a movie. Listening to music was a bit easier to achieve, but what's the point when you look at the empty cd cases the next morning and can't remember listening to half of them?
Not sure what point I'm trying to make here! My partner's first social engagement is tomorrow night. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm both excited at the prospect of doing things I couldn't acheive before, and scared that the AV will invade my thoughts and I'll succumb.
Who knows? Hopefully all will be fine and I'll be slightly embarrassed for posting this thread.
I'm a logical kind of person. I like logic. At the moment I'm not finding this process one little bit logical at all!
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
10 days is great! Stay strong when your partner is out. Post here before you do anything stupid if you get cravings. We've all been in a position of when "who would know" You'd know, of course, and that's who counts.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi abrax, you're right about the AV; if it doesn't get you through cravings it starts reasoning, well maybe I could moderate.
It's great that you recognise it and turn your thoughts elsewhere. Eventually it will die down.
It's great that you recognise it and turn your thoughts elsewhere. Eventually it will die down.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
No need for embarrassment, Abraxas. This is a great thread. You're reaching out for support in time to prepare for anything that might lead you astray from sobriety. Good for you 
The situation you find yourself in now has always been one of my own particular triggers or sticky situations - the partner's gone, what shall I do with my time? Lots of us hear the AV speak up loudly in a time like this.
Stay close to the forums. Have you read about Urge Surfing? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
The situation you find yourself in now has always been one of my own particular triggers or sticky situations - the partner's gone, what shall I do with my time? Lots of us hear the AV speak up loudly in a time like this.
Stay close to the forums. Have you read about Urge Surfing? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
Made it through! No problem in the end - AV didn't even make a showing which was a pleasant surprise.
Another pleasant surprise was that keeping my own (sober) company was pretty good too :-)
Not so good was I went to bed at 11:30; it's now 3:40am and still awake. Annoying but not the end of the world, I have quickly learnt that it goes with the territory and trying to fight it just makes matters worse.
Another pleasant surprise was that keeping my own (sober) company was pretty good too :-)
Not so good was I went to bed at 11:30; it's now 3:40am and still awake. Annoying but not the end of the world, I have quickly learnt that it goes with the territory and trying to fight it just makes matters worse.
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