Grendhar

To keep it brief,

I don't know how to stop drinking. I can only last 2 and and a half days. The 3rd day I'm feeling good again and romance a drink. Happens every time.

I am not happy sober, feel like something is missing. But I also drink so much that I have nearly no life.. drinking in dark apartment, fall asleep, wake up .. repeat. Also check my skin every day to see if it's yellow yet.

Not a good situation .. needs to stop. A.A only helps me on the days I've decided not to drink anyway .. when I do want to drink I just do it. I don't believe in god and feel that is a barrier to me in a.a.

Looking forward to responses,

Thanks,

Brandon

biminiblue

Hey, Welcome.

At some point you'll have to power through those feelings of discomfort and those thoughts that a drink is a good idea.

Have you read through the Secular Connections section here on the forums? AA doesn't work for everyone, but you can quit drinking regardless if you never step in an AA meeting. It's just a decision that you back up with daily action.

Secular Connection link:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Also, this link to AVRT is a good one. It's all you, my friend.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

Grendhar

Thanks Biminiblue,

I will check out your links.

RDBplus3

I don't believe in the concept I have in my mind as to what the word 'God' means ???

In AA, step 1 is about realizing and admitting to our innermost selves that we have a problem with Alcohol and how it is affecting our lives ... and realizing and admitting to our innermost selves that our lives have become unmanageable. I HAD to come to that realization because the CONSEQUENCES kept slamming my face in the asphalt of LIFE.

In step 2, I came to believe that a Power greater than myself would be required if I was to be restored to living a SANE life (be able to live Life on Life's terms without drowning myself with Alcohol). I also came to believe that the 'Higher Power' talked about in AA had (In Fact) restored numerous people that had the same Alcohol and Life Problems as me, because it was EVIDENT by listening to those people in meetings.

In SPITE of my SELF (and my concepts of INSISTING my mind had it all figured out) ... I finally made a decision to WORK the Steps, and be Open-Minded that the same Power behind the AA Program could 'possibly' do the same for me, as I saw in others in the Program. This was Step 3 ... and it side-stepped the bogeyman of the 'God' word I had trained my Self-Will-Run-Riot mind to clam shut when I heard it.

I WORKED Steps 4 thru 12. (and continue to do the daily renewing of steps 10,11,12)

MIRACLE ... after 40 years drinking, and YEARS STRUGGLING ... I am 2 years Happy, Joyous and FREE. The old concepts in my mind that SEEMED so INSISTENT were just self-fabricated cobwebs, that I had turned into shackles of my own delusion.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2

Thanos

Hi Grendhar,

Have you looked at Rational Recovery? There are some good secular tools for recovery in those books.

Anna

Hi, I'm glad you found us and I hope that you decide you want/need to stop drinking. I think it may seem hard to be happy sober, until you actually work on it, and you may find you are pleasantly surprised.

JD

Yep, that feeling of I'm ok, maybe I don't have a problem, I can have one is common. The problem is it doesn't work, does it? Look into AVRT.

totfit

You don't have any issue stopping drinking if you can quit for 2.5 days. For some reason you make the decision to start again. If it does good things for you, by all means continue. If it is doing bad or even horrible things to you, why continue starting? Try and start by simply looking at things in that perspective.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you Grendhar

tomsteve

glad youre reaching out,brandon. on the aa thing...how bout tellin us what ya did with aa. was it just go to meetings and only when you decided not to drink? have ya read the big book? work the steps?
i ask because i read quite a few times on here of people who went to aa. they just went to meetings. it didnt work. some time in the future as they were heading further down the elevator they went back to aa, learned exactly what it is about, worked the program( quite a few of em who dont believe in god,too) are sober today, and wish they would have investigated and given aa a fair chance before shoving it aside years before.

aa or not, yer going to have to decide whether you want to keep on going like you are or if you want to stop the insanity and be willing to do whatver it takes to get sober.
just not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism.

Grendhar

Tomsteve,

I never put any effort into A.A other than sitting in speaker meetings. I'm very self conscious / shy when I'm sober so I never have the courage to talk to anyone.

Dee74

no matter what support system you use, the bottom line is you have more than enough information and experience to suggest that going back to drinking is a bad idea.

The fact that you're not listening to that experience and you're not using whatever support you have on the days you really need it, suggest you need to look a little deeper, I think.

do you still feel you're self medicating?

D

Grendhar

Started out drinking because it made me feel euphoric. Nowadays it only does that for the first 20 minutes or so and doesn't happen every time. I would say it helps blank out my thoughts.

Grendhar

But the problems it is causing me isn't worth the benefit. I just haven't been able to convince myself that for more than 2 and a half days.

melki

Did you give it a try for long enough?

Doesn't sound like you are happy drinking either.

Welcome to the forum, read a lot and keep posting. Give sobriety a shot! AVRT and SR support worked for me.

Pondlady

I found the third day tough. I was feeling better and would convince myself I didn't have a problem.

Maybe you should completely change your schedule on the third day? Don't have any alcohol in the house and change things up!

melki

Yet. Alcoholism is progressive, it turns more and more dangerous exponentially with every drink. It is also very sneaky and the progression won't be obvious to you while you're in it. Only when you step away for long enough.

Dee74

I think you're selling yourself short. You can change and you can resist the lure of more drinking

joining the brand new December support thread may help

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2015-a.html

D

Grendhar

Hi Pond,

I'll try that .. plenty of stuff to do I've been neglecting lol

leviathan

I understand your feelings. The way you describe the brief and sometimes absent euphoria is just what I felt.

That was my springboard into my program based on absolute belief that picking up again just has NOTHING left for me. Once I grasped this, I could focus on the gifts sobriety handed me (every day, it seems). They outshined all those fleeting instances of guilty drinking pleasure.

Its just so hard for us to keep this lesson close at hand sometimes...

I believe sobriety will give me more joy than drinking as firmly as I believe the sun will rise tomorrow.