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Insanity...A Lesson Learned

Old 11-29-2015, 10:05 AM
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Insanity...A Lesson Learned

I'd been sober for a month when I met her in October 2013. She had alot of hangups like I had, but we became friends anyhow. A co-worker of the hubby, I made no assumptions of any former relationship between her and hubby before I met her (found out later there was). Months went by and although I sensed a little violent tendency in her by the way she talked, I ignored it. The hubby and I hadn't had a "friend" around in a while so she became the one who "hung out" with us on weekends. Needless to say I started drinking again. This relationship became toxic, as she wanted to be treated as an equal to myself and I wanted to hide my insecurities about the whole situation. One night after a nice dinner she became angry, saying I hid her jacket and took her money, high off of pills and vodka, and tried to choke me. I warned the hubby not to leave us two alone but he ignored the signs and went to bed beforehand. Hubby got up and put her out. I ignored her calls for a week but then intoxication got the best of me and I'd call her again. She'd apologize, tell me how much she loved me, and we'd be back hanging out again. A month or two of good behavior and then another violent spurt would happen. We'd repeat the same thing over and over for almost a year, each time getting worse. July 2, 2014 she came over after a bad day and I consoled her as usual. I felt uneasy as hubby was not home at the time and I knew she was unstable. She started crying saying she was depressed, and that she wished she was married like I was and I told her she would be one day. She flipped and asked about her money again (that was her pattern, ask about her money and then flip out) and I told her that she knew I didn't touch her money. She pushed me on the floor in my kitchen and commenced to punching me in the face. I was so drunk I couldn't fight back. I got up and walked a mile barefooted, looking for someone who could help, right eye swollen shut and lip bleeding. Hubby came home to see her on the floor, all lights on inside, door wide open at 2am, crying over what she did and he went out after me. I cried my heart out when I saw him. I went to the ER the next day, still highly drunk and had a CAT scan done. The doctor advised me on alcohol abuse. I drank my heaviest during my recovery to lessen the pain. I went as long as I could and called her a month later. She cried, I cried, we met up and talked and tried again.We tried hanging out like normal but every time her voice would raise I'd get a flashback of that night. It took alot of willpower but I left her alone for good since February 2015 and haven't talked to her since. My days of hanging out with women that way were officially over, but my drinking continued until Nov 6, 2015. I'm still working on forgiving her, but I know that she was misused in alot of ways by me and hubby as well. I'm still working on not blaming hubby for what happened to me that night.
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Old 11-29-2015, 10:36 AM
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CurlyGirl, I'm sorry that happened to you. Glad to hear that you're trying to work through it! Thank you for sharing.
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Old 11-29-2015, 10:38 AM
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What's crazy is that none of that would have happened had I been sober. Being so deep in alcoholism and lacking self love, I accepted abuse and mistreatment. Looking at this story I am grateful once again for sobriety.
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Old 11-29-2015, 12:37 PM
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Old 11-29-2015, 12:41 PM
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That's heavy stuff....keep sober and strong and u can ward it off again.... good luck x
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