I.D.N.A.D Today
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Hi Emily, thanks for checking up on me - appreciate that.
Feeling good today thanks, first time in a good few days to be honest - first meeting tonight, a bit into the unknown and possibly out of my comfort zone but somewhere I need to go to and learn how to make this work for the long term, there's no doubt in my mind that I want this and want all the tools to help me in the future.
How's you by the way - going well with things ? Guess the test is coming for you but fully believe you can do it with your husband and get this first weekend out of the way without anything. I had a quick look at your thread yesterday, hadn't been in there since I joined as found this place most useful. Did you start with the SMART course online ? I was going to go to a meeting on Tuesday but felt exhausted and knew I had tonight's which is an 8 week course that I have been allocated to. There is a SMART meeting on Sat lunchtime also so to keep a couple of nights in the week free I'm thinking that would be a better option - interested to hear how you found it.
Feeling good today thanks, first time in a good few days to be honest - first meeting tonight, a bit into the unknown and possibly out of my comfort zone but somewhere I need to go to and learn how to make this work for the long term, there's no doubt in my mind that I want this and want all the tools to help me in the future.
How's you by the way - going well with things ? Guess the test is coming for you but fully believe you can do it with your husband and get this first weekend out of the way without anything. I had a quick look at your thread yesterday, hadn't been in there since I joined as found this place most useful. Did you start with the SMART course online ? I was going to go to a meeting on Tuesday but felt exhausted and knew I had tonight's which is an 8 week course that I have been allocated to. There is a SMART meeting on Sat lunchtime also so to keep a couple of nights in the week free I'm thinking that would be a better option - interested to hear how you found it.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by RedAndy 
Hi Emily, thanks for checking up on me - appreciate that.
Feeling good today thanks, first time in a good few days to be honest - first meeting tonight, a bit into the unknown and possibly out of my comfort zone but somewhere I need to go to and learn how to make this work for the long term, there's no doubt in my mind that I want this and want all the tools to help me in the future.
How's you by the way - going well with things ? Guess the test is coming for you but fully believe you can do it with your husband and get this first weekend out of the way without anything. I had a quick look at your thread yesterday, hadn't been in there since I joined as found this place most useful. Did you start with the SMART course online ? I was going to go to a meeting on Tuesday but felt exhausted and knew I had tonight's which is an 8 week course that I have been allocated to. There is a SMART meeting on Sat lunchtime also so to keep a couple of nights in the week free I'm thinking that would be a better option - interested to hear how you found it.
Feeling good today thanks, first time in a good few days to be honest - first meeting tonight, a bit into the unknown and possibly out of my comfort zone but somewhere I need to go to and learn how to make this work for the long term, there's no doubt in my mind that I want this and want all the tools to help me in the future.
How's you by the way - going well with things ? Guess the test is coming for you but fully believe you can do it with your husband and get this first weekend out of the way without anything. I had a quick look at your thread yesterday, hadn't been in there since I joined as found this place most useful. Did you start with the SMART course online ? I was going to go to a meeting on Tuesday but felt exhausted and knew I had tonight's which is an 8 week course that I have been allocated to. There is a SMART meeting on Sat lunchtime also so to keep a couple of nights in the week free I'm thinking that would be a better option - interested to hear how you found it.
Glad to hear you're still going strong. Like you I too haven't managed to attend any meetings quite yet (online or in person). I've had such a busy week that I just haven't had time. To be honest I'm finding this site incentive enough at present. This is the first time in forever that I can remember staying sober this long without being forced (we went on holiday earlier this year but it was to a Muslim country where those sorts of things are not readily available)... I may still try and attend an online meeting over the weekend for added support but that will be it for now. I'm finding the NAC we're taking is working absolute wonders also... Cannot recommend it enough for ANY addiction that has a psychological pull.
Tomorrow and Sunday, me and the hubby are getting a tree and putting up decorations (as well as giving the apartment a good sort out) so that should keep us busy.
Keep going Andy, we're doing great
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 924
How was your meeting Andy?
Is it Stereophonics tonight ? If so I hope you get to enjoy it.
My promise to myself is to have a sober weekend, no drink, no spliffs and no pills.
There's a reggae band playing locally to me which I may go to watch. Reggae is very much my thing although I've had to shelve the dub whilst my brain rewires.....far too many memories of drunk and stoned nights sitting at my kitchen table for that to work for me at this moment in time.
Also looking forward to my team, West Ham, handing out a sound footballing lesson to some two-bit pub side from oop north of course!
Take care of yourself and your family and have a great weekend!
Is it Stereophonics tonight ? If so I hope you get to enjoy it.
My promise to myself is to have a sober weekend, no drink, no spliffs and no pills.
There's a reggae band playing locally to me which I may go to watch. Reggae is very much my thing although I've had to shelve the dub whilst my brain rewires.....far too many memories of drunk and stoned nights sitting at my kitchen table for that to work for me at this moment in time.
Also looking forward to my team, West Ham, handing out a sound footballing lesson to some two-bit pub side from oop north of course!
Take care of yourself and your family and have a great weekend!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Cheers Emily / Tufty - copy and paste of what I left on the Class of November site re the meeting etc this morning:-
Feeling a bit strange again as I did last night - first meeting / class for abstinence to which only myself turned up along with the counsellor taking the session, after feeling down in the dumps for a good few days and really low on Wednesday evening I felt much better yesterday - by the time I got in there and started chatting I went into absolute overdrive - just became a chat really and me telling him where I'm at but not sure I really took anything from it other than needing to learn relaxation techniques - felt strange how high I went - 24 hrs earlier I would have struggled to muster two words the way I felt and feel like I went from floor to ceiling within 24 hrs. Thing is when I came out of there I felt the swagger and cockiness return walking tall where I've been slumped for the last few weeks, by the time I'd driven home I was absolutely on pins with my whole body buzzing and my head feeling very peculiar indeed.
Got home and the wife could see I was on edge and not how I have been and told her how it had gone and how I felt and that I'd probably left the poor guy's head absolutely spinning - mother in law round for the weekend said my quick hello but still feeling really not right at all - ended up lay on the bed trying to calm down heart pounding and a couple of pains in my chest and then a bath and my evening meal (not at the same time !!) - prob why sleep wasn't the greatest but now woke this morning with first thoughts of do I need to be doing this - what am I getting from it - mass craving for a beer and thinking about the drugs / what I'm missing out on with all this.
I know the answers of what I'll be missing out on if I gave in and it is not an option but for the first time doubting myself and feel on edge again now straight away - definitely feeling rather mixed up to say the least.
Feeling a bit strange again as I did last night - first meeting / class for abstinence to which only myself turned up along with the counsellor taking the session, after feeling down in the dumps for a good few days and really low on Wednesday evening I felt much better yesterday - by the time I got in there and started chatting I went into absolute overdrive - just became a chat really and me telling him where I'm at but not sure I really took anything from it other than needing to learn relaxation techniques - felt strange how high I went - 24 hrs earlier I would have struggled to muster two words the way I felt and feel like I went from floor to ceiling within 24 hrs. Thing is when I came out of there I felt the swagger and cockiness return walking tall where I've been slumped for the last few weeks, by the time I'd driven home I was absolutely on pins with my whole body buzzing and my head feeling very peculiar indeed.
Got home and the wife could see I was on edge and not how I have been and told her how it had gone and how I felt and that I'd probably left the poor guy's head absolutely spinning - mother in law round for the weekend said my quick hello but still feeling really not right at all - ended up lay on the bed trying to calm down heart pounding and a couple of pains in my chest and then a bath and my evening meal (not at the same time !!) - prob why sleep wasn't the greatest but now woke this morning with first thoughts of do I need to be doing this - what am I getting from it - mass craving for a beer and thinking about the drugs / what I'm missing out on with all this.
I know the answers of what I'll be missing out on if I gave in and it is not an option but for the first time doubting myself and feel on edge again now straight away - definitely feeling rather mixed up to say the least.
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Originally Posted by Determined82
Hia Andy
Glad to hear you're still going strong. Like you I too haven't managed to attend any meetings quite yet (online or in person). I've had such a busy week that I just haven't had time. To be honest I'm finding this site incentive enough at present. This is the first time in forever that I can remember staying sober this long without being forced (we went on holiday earlier this year but it was to a Muslim country where those sorts of things are not readily available)... I may still try and attend an online meeting over the weekend for added support but that will be it for now. I'm finding the NAC we're taking is working absolute wonders also... Cannot recommend it enough for ANY addiction that has a psychological pull.
Tomorrow and Sunday, me and the hubby are getting a tree and putting up decorations (as well as giving the apartment a good sort out) so that should keep us busy.
Keep going Andy, we're doing great
Glad to hear you're still going strong. Like you I too haven't managed to attend any meetings quite yet (online or in person). I've had such a busy week that I just haven't had time. To be honest I'm finding this site incentive enough at present. This is the first time in forever that I can remember staying sober this long without being forced (we went on holiday earlier this year but it was to a Muslim country where those sorts of things are not readily available)... I may still try and attend an online meeting over the weekend for added support but that will be it for now. I'm finding the NAC we're taking is working absolute wonders also... Cannot recommend it enough for ANY addiction that has a psychological pull.
Tomorrow and Sunday, me and the hubby are getting a tree and putting up decorations (as well as giving the apartment a good sort out) so that should keep us busy.
Keep going Andy, we're doing great
Have a good weekend.
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Originally Posted by tufty13
How was your meeting Andy?
Is it Stereophonics tonight ? If so I hope you get to enjoy it.
My promise to myself is to have a sober weekend, no drink, no spliffs and no pills.
There's a reggae band playing locally to me which I may go to watch. Reggae is very much my thing although I've had to shelve the dub whilst my brain rewires.....far too many memories of drunk and stoned nights sitting at my kitchen table for that to work for me at this moment in time.
Also looking forward to my team, West Ham, handing out a sound footballing lesson to some two-bit pub side from oop north of course!
Take care of yourself and your family and have a great weekend!
Is it Stereophonics tonight ? If so I hope you get to enjoy it.
My promise to myself is to have a sober weekend, no drink, no spliffs and no pills.
There's a reggae band playing locally to me which I may go to watch. Reggae is very much my thing although I've had to shelve the dub whilst my brain rewires.....far too many memories of drunk and stoned nights sitting at my kitchen table for that to work for me at this moment in time.
Also looking forward to my team, West Ham, handing out a sound footballing lesson to some two-bit pub side from oop north of course!
Take care of yourself and your family and have a great weekend!
Good point I guess its gonna take time for the brain to rewire.
Ha ha so you're a happy Hammer then - must be this season, I'd say normally should be 3 points, you've upset us more than a few times - still shudder at Miklosko in 95 and Kenny Brown in 92 to name but a couple !! Form you've shown away from home tho is impressive to say the least - just hope its remotely entertaining but the way we're playing (effective to a point being 1 point off the top) its debatable if it will be.
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Originally Posted by RedAndy
Think I need to have a look at that NAC properly also - enjoy putting the tree up - ours went up on Monday - my daughter driving the wife daft and it was the only day this week they had time to sort before the mother in law arrived yesterday - not normally one for anything before 1st December but was glad for a bit of peace and quiet on the subject !!
Have a good weekend.
Have a good weekend.
Just read your post and so know where your at! I had huge cravings last night that almost reduced me to tears funnily enough I forgot to take my Nac and I think that played a massive part. Took it this morning and feeling great now, zero urges.
Please please look into it. Just type in Google Nac cocaine and you'll get a huge amount of info its short for - N-ACETYLCYSTEINE and you can pick it up from any reputable health shop. Holland and Barrett do it but I ordered mine online. It is fantastic and after reading your post I think it will REALLY help you. Stay strong and keep fighting those urges. You're doing great Andy!
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Cheers Emily - really didn't think I'd be as bad as this - having stopped for a few times before but think the fact this is because I've admitted there's a problem and know this is it forever as there can be no going back to the person I turn into, head was a bit mashed to say the least - wandering through town clocking every bar and pub - people drinking and plenty of the places that I've frequented on a regular basis for as long as I can remember, seeming all so out of reach - like I said....forever !!
Went for a bite to eat as early doors and again everywhere I looked all I kept seeing was everybodies drink knowing that can't be mine anymore - strange feelings to say the least but enjoyed the food and a chat with the wife - she said something to me that after all the sh1t I've put her through over the years that she's still here for me - that hit me hard as she started to cry - I have put her through so much with my selfish ways / drinking / drugs and just being a complete tosser at times, however she can clearly see I'm serious to sort this out and wants us to make things work - she always has and is amazing - finally realised just how lucky I am to have her by my side - taken far too long but aim to make that upto her from here on in and a massive reason why that first drink can never be an option again.
Still didn't clear the cravings tho once in the venue for the concert - plenty of beer about but just kept taking a deep breath, one thing I did notice though was just how normal people seemed enjoying a drink together and how many couples there were enjoying each other's company - I've been so wrapped up in getting as drunk as possible at any given opportunity when we've been out together that she's dreaded nights out for so long - ruined so many and caused her so much upset at those times - thing is I always thought everybody else was on the same wavelength - normally by that time of the evening we'd have been in the pub first for a couple of hours on my insistence a good few more whilst eating firing them down as quickly as possible and then plastered by the time we got there so by the time we arrived in our seats she'd have already be on tenterhooks awaiting me to cause problems as I wanted more and more to drink - not last night tho and just noticed what a good time we were having like all the other couples there - did again keep noticing everyone with a beer but just shrugged it off and got on with it and enjoyed the night, stereophonics were superb - realised that virtually everyone was actually normal and not in the state I would have been - there was one lad I noticed who looked an absolute disgrace down on the concourse - not falling all over but didn't have a clue what was going on and looked like he was worse for wear on more than just the ale - was in the process of getting ejected with one of his mates pleading his innocence and for him to be allowed to stay, made a change to be the one looking on at this instead of it actually being me in that situation - altho majority of times I'd have no recollection of getting booted out of places.
All in all a successful night that didn't end with me being a pain in the backside and a big row - drove home with my wife happy at an enjoyable evening out together - first time in a longtime !!
Did the Christmas markets this morning / lunchtime - again noticing all the beers left right and centre but not with the cravings today at all thankfully - did have a rather weird episode tho on the drive home and then once back home - mind playing with me and felt like I was going under for no apparent reason - anxious as anything / body pulsing all over and really strange thoughts that were confusing to say the least - lasted a good couple of hours whilst trying to do a couple of things and watch the football - plenty of deep breaths and really restless but then seemed to pass eventually- similar to how I felt Thursday evening - not a clue what all that is about but is playing with my head a bit.
Hope your weekend is going well.
Went for a bite to eat as early doors and again everywhere I looked all I kept seeing was everybodies drink knowing that can't be mine anymore - strange feelings to say the least but enjoyed the food and a chat with the wife - she said something to me that after all the sh1t I've put her through over the years that she's still here for me - that hit me hard as she started to cry - I have put her through so much with my selfish ways / drinking / drugs and just being a complete tosser at times, however she can clearly see I'm serious to sort this out and wants us to make things work - she always has and is amazing - finally realised just how lucky I am to have her by my side - taken far too long but aim to make that upto her from here on in and a massive reason why that first drink can never be an option again.
Still didn't clear the cravings tho once in the venue for the concert - plenty of beer about but just kept taking a deep breath, one thing I did notice though was just how normal people seemed enjoying a drink together and how many couples there were enjoying each other's company - I've been so wrapped up in getting as drunk as possible at any given opportunity when we've been out together that she's dreaded nights out for so long - ruined so many and caused her so much upset at those times - thing is I always thought everybody else was on the same wavelength - normally by that time of the evening we'd have been in the pub first for a couple of hours on my insistence a good few more whilst eating firing them down as quickly as possible and then plastered by the time we got there so by the time we arrived in our seats she'd have already be on tenterhooks awaiting me to cause problems as I wanted more and more to drink - not last night tho and just noticed what a good time we were having like all the other couples there - did again keep noticing everyone with a beer but just shrugged it off and got on with it and enjoyed the night, stereophonics were superb - realised that virtually everyone was actually normal and not in the state I would have been - there was one lad I noticed who looked an absolute disgrace down on the concourse - not falling all over but didn't have a clue what was going on and looked like he was worse for wear on more than just the ale - was in the process of getting ejected with one of his mates pleading his innocence and for him to be allowed to stay, made a change to be the one looking on at this instead of it actually being me in that situation - altho majority of times I'd have no recollection of getting booted out of places.
All in all a successful night that didn't end with me being a pain in the backside and a big row - drove home with my wife happy at an enjoyable evening out together - first time in a longtime !!
Did the Christmas markets this morning / lunchtime - again noticing all the beers left right and centre but not with the cravings today at all thankfully - did have a rather weird episode tho on the drive home and then once back home - mind playing with me and felt like I was going under for no apparent reason - anxious as anything / body pulsing all over and really strange thoughts that were confusing to say the least - lasted a good couple of hours whilst trying to do a couple of things and watch the football - plenty of deep breaths and really restless but then seemed to pass eventually- similar to how I felt Thursday evening - not a clue what all that is about but is playing with my head a bit.
Hope your weekend is going well.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by RedAndy
Cheers Emily - really didn't think I'd be as bad as this - having stopped for a few times before but think the fact this is because I've admitted there's a problem and know this is it forever as there can be no going back to the person I turn into, head was a bit mashed to say the least - wandering through town clocking every bar and pub - people drinking and plenty of the places that I've frequented on a regular basis for as long as I can remember, seeming all so out of reach - like I said....forever !!
Went for a bite to eat as early doors and again everywhere I looked all I kept seeing was everybodies drink knowing that can't be mine anymore - strange feelings to say the least but enjoyed the food and a chat with the wife - she said something to me that after all the sh1t I've put her through over the years that she's still here for me - that hit me hard as she started to cry - I have put her through so much with my selfish ways / drinking / drugs and just being a complete tosser at times, however she can clearly see I'm serious to sort this out and wants us to make things work - she always has and is amazing - finally realised just how lucky I am to have her by my side - taken far too long but aim to make that upto her from here on in and a massive reason why that first drink can never be an option again.
Still didn't clear the cravings tho once in the venue for the concert - plenty of beer about but just kept taking a deep breath, one thing I did notice though was just how normal people seemed enjoying a drink together and how many couples there were enjoying each other's company - I've been so wrapped up in getting as drunk as possible at any given opportunity when we've been out together that she's dreaded nights out for so long - ruined so many and caused her so much upset at those times - thing is I always thought everybody else was on the same wavelength - normally by that time of the evening we'd have been in the pub first for a couple of hours on my insistence a good few more whilst eating firing them down as quickly as possible and then plastered by the time we got there so by the time we arrived in our seats she'd have already be on tenterhooks awaiting me to cause problems as I wanted more and more to drink - not last night tho and just noticed what a good time we were having like all the other couples there - did again keep noticing everyone with a beer but just shrugged it off and got on with it and enjoyed the night, stereophonics were superb - realised that virtually everyone was actually normal and not in the state I would have been - there was one lad I noticed who looked an absolute disgrace down on the concourse - not falling all over but didn't have a clue what was going on and looked like he was worse for wear on more than just the ale - was in the process of getting ejected with one of his mates pleading his innocence and for him to be allowed to stay, made a change to be the one looking on at this instead of it actually being me in that situation - altho majority of times I'd have no recollection of getting booted out of places.
All in all a successful night that didn't end with me being a pain in the backside and a big row - drove home with my wife happy at an enjoyable evening out together - first time in a longtime !!
Did the Christmas markets this morning / lunchtime - again noticing all the beers left right and centre but not with the cravings today at all thankfully - did have a rather weird episode tho on the drive home and then once back home - mind playing with me and felt like I was going under for no apparent reason - anxious as anything / body pulsing all over and really strange thoughts that were confusing to say the least - lasted a good couple of hours whilst trying to do a couple of things and watch the football - plenty of deep breaths and really restless but then seemed to pass eventually- similar to how I felt Thursday evening - not a clue what all that is about but is playing with my head a bit.
Hope your weekend is going well.
Went for a bite to eat as early doors and again everywhere I looked all I kept seeing was everybodies drink knowing that can't be mine anymore - strange feelings to say the least but enjoyed the food and a chat with the wife - she said something to me that after all the sh1t I've put her through over the years that she's still here for me - that hit me hard as she started to cry - I have put her through so much with my selfish ways / drinking / drugs and just being a complete tosser at times, however she can clearly see I'm serious to sort this out and wants us to make things work - she always has and is amazing - finally realised just how lucky I am to have her by my side - taken far too long but aim to make that upto her from here on in and a massive reason why that first drink can never be an option again.
Still didn't clear the cravings tho once in the venue for the concert - plenty of beer about but just kept taking a deep breath, one thing I did notice though was just how normal people seemed enjoying a drink together and how many couples there were enjoying each other's company - I've been so wrapped up in getting as drunk as possible at any given opportunity when we've been out together that she's dreaded nights out for so long - ruined so many and caused her so much upset at those times - thing is I always thought everybody else was on the same wavelength - normally by that time of the evening we'd have been in the pub first for a couple of hours on my insistence a good few more whilst eating firing them down as quickly as possible and then plastered by the time we got there so by the time we arrived in our seats she'd have already be on tenterhooks awaiting me to cause problems as I wanted more and more to drink - not last night tho and just noticed what a good time we were having like all the other couples there - did again keep noticing everyone with a beer but just shrugged it off and got on with it and enjoyed the night, stereophonics were superb - realised that virtually everyone was actually normal and not in the state I would have been - there was one lad I noticed who looked an absolute disgrace down on the concourse - not falling all over but didn't have a clue what was going on and looked like he was worse for wear on more than just the ale - was in the process of getting ejected with one of his mates pleading his innocence and for him to be allowed to stay, made a change to be the one looking on at this instead of it actually being me in that situation - altho majority of times I'd have no recollection of getting booted out of places.
All in all a successful night that didn't end with me being a pain in the backside and a big row - drove home with my wife happy at an enjoyable evening out together - first time in a longtime !!
Did the Christmas markets this morning / lunchtime - again noticing all the beers left right and centre but not with the cravings today at all thankfully - did have a rather weird episode tho on the drive home and then once back home - mind playing with me and felt like I was going under for no apparent reason - anxious as anything / body pulsing all over and really strange thoughts that were confusing to say the least - lasted a good couple of hours whilst trying to do a couple of things and watch the football - plenty of deep breaths and really restless but then seemed to pass eventually- similar to how I felt Thursday evening - not a clue what all that is about but is playing with my head a bit.
Hope your weekend is going well.
Glad you enjoyed the stereophonics! I imagine they'd be awesome. Well done you for avoiding the what sounded like hundreds of scenarios that would easily be conceived as triggers. That must have been hard! Isn't it great just having a normal night out! Watching someone else make a complete spectacle of themselves can be a real eye opener as to what we used to be like. Embarrassing to say the least. It's so cute that you are recognising how much your wife is there for you and what you've put her through over the years. Perhaps you could put away even half of the money you would usually spend on alcohol and drugs (if your anything like me that would have been a lot) and with the money you save you could treat you both to something really nice or perhaps a little weekend vacation somewhere romantic!
Today for us will consist of finishing of Spring cleaning this apartment, going to get a tree, decorate and then we'll be heading to our local Calvary... Looking forward to hog roast and some beef with horseradish.
Waking up these past 9 mornings with no hangover has been awesome. There is NO WAY we can go back
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No probs Emily, good to hear from you - hope you're doing well.
You know what I don't really know how I'm feeling, having some ok times and a few where the wife is telling me to calm a bit and then bang I'm down again on the floor - keep trying to convince myself I'm on top of this but just not feeling good at all, again - hardly spoken a word to people today unless forced to, just not interested in communicating with anyone, a few questions from people as to why I'm not at the Xmas party this coming weekend, one asking who's going to take centre stage if I'm not there, I just said it must be somebody else's turn and telling them at the mother in laws for her birthday but can see people looking and a couple asking if everything's ok, guess I'm not overly convincing with it.
Keep telling myself to snap out of it but its just not happening today - arrgghh this really is doing my head in !! GP started me on Prozac last week so guess they maybe kicking in and affecting my moods as had some rather strange turns over the last few days, also questioning whether they are what I need or is it just me at present, pretty confused with it all and then yesterday went to the Chill Out session which involved mediation at the Drink & Drugs centre I'm attending and that just sent me right under - really agitated and weird.
After the 5 weeks I had where I was on top of the world thro no drinking & training etc prior to my trip to hell and back I foolishly I guess thought that stopping would bring those feelings back but in reality I'm struggling to get my head together, get thro the rest of the day and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter and better.
You know what I don't really know how I'm feeling, having some ok times and a few where the wife is telling me to calm a bit and then bang I'm down again on the floor - keep trying to convince myself I'm on top of this but just not feeling good at all, again - hardly spoken a word to people today unless forced to, just not interested in communicating with anyone, a few questions from people as to why I'm not at the Xmas party this coming weekend, one asking who's going to take centre stage if I'm not there, I just said it must be somebody else's turn and telling them at the mother in laws for her birthday but can see people looking and a couple asking if everything's ok, guess I'm not overly convincing with it.
Keep telling myself to snap out of it but its just not happening today - arrgghh this really is doing my head in !! GP started me on Prozac last week so guess they maybe kicking in and affecting my moods as had some rather strange turns over the last few days, also questioning whether they are what I need or is it just me at present, pretty confused with it all and then yesterday went to the Chill Out session which involved mediation at the Drink & Drugs centre I'm attending and that just sent me right under - really agitated and weird.
After the 5 weeks I had where I was on top of the world thro no drinking & training etc prior to my trip to hell and back I foolishly I guess thought that stopping would bring those feelings back but in reality I'm struggling to get my head together, get thro the rest of the day and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter and better.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Originally Posted by RedAndy
No probs Emily, good to hear from you - hope you're doing well.
You know what I don't really know how I'm feeling, having some ok times and a few where the wife is telling me to calm a bit and then bang I'm down again on the floor - keep trying to convince myself I'm on top of this but just not feeling good at all, again - hardly spoken a word to people today unless forced to, just not interested in communicating with anyone, a few questions from people as to why I'm not at the Xmas party this coming weekend, one asking who's going to take centre stage if I'm not there, I just said it must be somebody else's turn and telling them at the mother in laws for her birthday but can see people looking and a couple asking if everything's ok, guess I'm not overly convincing with it.
Keep telling myself to snap out of it but its just not happening today - arrgghh this really is doing my head in !! GP started me on Prozac last week so guess they maybe kicking in and affecting my moods as had some rather strange turns over the last few days, also questioning whether they are what I need or is it just me at present, pretty confused with it all and then yesterday went to the Chill Out session which involved mediation at the Drink & Drugs centre I'm attending and that just sent me right under - really agitated and weird.
After the 5 weeks I had where I was on top of the world thro no drinking & training etc prior to my trip to hell and back I foolishly I guess thought that stopping would bring those feelings back but in reality I'm struggling to get my head together, get thro the rest of the day and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter and better.
You know what I don't really know how I'm feeling, having some ok times and a few where the wife is telling me to calm a bit and then bang I'm down again on the floor - keep trying to convince myself I'm on top of this but just not feeling good at all, again - hardly spoken a word to people today unless forced to, just not interested in communicating with anyone, a few questions from people as to why I'm not at the Xmas party this coming weekend, one asking who's going to take centre stage if I'm not there, I just said it must be somebody else's turn and telling them at the mother in laws for her birthday but can see people looking and a couple asking if everything's ok, guess I'm not overly convincing with it.
Keep telling myself to snap out of it but its just not happening today - arrgghh this really is doing my head in !! GP started me on Prozac last week so guess they maybe kicking in and affecting my moods as had some rather strange turns over the last few days, also questioning whether they are what I need or is it just me at present, pretty confused with it all and then yesterday went to the Chill Out session which involved mediation at the Drink & Drugs centre I'm attending and that just sent me right under - really agitated and weird.
After the 5 weeks I had where I was on top of the world thro no drinking & training etc prior to my trip to hell and back I foolishly I guess thought that stopping would bring those feelings back but in reality I'm struggling to get my head together, get thro the rest of the day and hopefully tomorrow will be brighter and better.
I so no where your at! I have turned down 3 offers over the weekend of Xmas parties because there is just no way I will retain my sobriety if I go (so sad)... Like you my mates see me as the life and soul of the party so they can be pretty persuasive and now I just feel totally depressed. My mood swings are ridiculous. One minute (usually in the morning) I'm full of life and energy, so happy I didn't drink the night before, the next (usually evening) I'm climbing the walls to prevent myself from relapsing. My husband seems to be dealing with the abstinence much better than I am. He increased his dose of Nac and I think I'll follow suit from tomorrow. Just wanted to see if I could cope on half the recommended amount. I'll let you know how I get on. Anyways stay strong Andy, you're doing so well. Apparently things start getting much easier between week 20-24... You're not far from there.
Speak soon and take care
Em x
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