Sober and growing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Pueblo, Colorado
Posts: 26
Sober and growing
Hello all. I'm Troy and I'm an alcoholic. I am at 45 days sober today. I attend several f2f meetings every week and am working with a sponsor. I came to this site hoping to find a more active virtual group. I've attended several other recovery boards and find that the same 5-10 people are the only ones active. Much wisdom can be found in those few, but I'm always looking for more.
I'm also looking for a more Christian perspective with my recovery. I've not gone back to any church lately and feel that my spiritual growth is lacking from that.
I'm also looking for a more Christian perspective with my recovery. I've not gone back to any church lately and feel that my spiritual growth is lacking from that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 65
I think you'll find this to be a good forum. I hope so. I am 3 days sober now, gonna have to work hard, I know. 1 day at a time.
I am a Christian. One thing that I think truly helps, beyond Church fellowship, is Scripture meditation. When you're feeling really low, craving, open your Bible, New Testament, find passages, any of them, and THINK, PONDER on what it says. Doesn't have to be anything related to sobriety. The FOCUS helps take your mind off things. And I find this is conducive to prayer, where you can unload.
I say this despite being 3 days off the juice because I struggled for a decade to be off opiates. Even though I failed (I'm on maintenance now) it helped me to understand and accept what I am, and know that I am still loved despite my failings.
Good luck to you!
I am a Christian. One thing that I think truly helps, beyond Church fellowship, is Scripture meditation. When you're feeling really low, craving, open your Bible, New Testament, find passages, any of them, and THINK, PONDER on what it says. Doesn't have to be anything related to sobriety. The FOCUS helps take your mind off things. And I find this is conducive to prayer, where you can unload.
I say this despite being 3 days off the juice because I struggled for a decade to be off opiates. Even though I failed (I'm on maintenance now) it helped me to understand and accept what I am, and know that I am still loved despite my failings.
Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome to the site.
I'm a fellow Christian. Long story short, I was a raging, falling down drunk.
After one particularly bad three day binge, I wrote down 'God, please help me'.
The answer I got, was to call AA. The man who called back, asked me to meet me at a diner near me.
He talked to me. He told me how he used to drink. His drinking was similar to mine only he was older than me. He had been sober for four years. I related so much to what he shared with me about alcohol, alcoholism and alcoholics.
He recommended I go to an AA meeting with him.
I declined. I told him I had gotten myself into this mess, and would go to a meeting on my own.
After walking past the building twice and seeing the people going in, I was to afraid to go in.
Finally, I went in. It was a speaker meeting and the people in the room ran the gamut of lifestyles .
They were nice to me even though I didn't speak. I related to them. Looking around the room, it was amazing to me how many people were there with the same objective, to share our common affliction with drink.
We held hands, in a circle, and recited the Our Father at the end of the meeting.
I was changed. I didn't know there were so many others like me.
The man who met me at first stayed together. He was my Angel. I kept going to meetings. I had a few slips, but now everything had changed between booze and me.
I was a bad drunk, and it's been four years eleven months since I felt the need to drink.
The man who first met me never told me what he did for a living. I ran into a friend, and fellow alcoholic, and he knew the man. He was multi-millionaire developer. How humble a man to take the time to talk to this drunken loser.
He saved my life. Prayer. It worked. It's still working. And now I help other alcoholics.
Amazing.
I guess that wasn't short. But it's how I was, what happened and how I am now.
You're doing all the right things, and I appreciate your post.
Thank you, and keep it up.
I'm a fellow Christian. Long story short, I was a raging, falling down drunk.
After one particularly bad three day binge, I wrote down 'God, please help me'.
The answer I got, was to call AA. The man who called back, asked me to meet me at a diner near me.
He talked to me. He told me how he used to drink. His drinking was similar to mine only he was older than me. He had been sober for four years. I related so much to what he shared with me about alcohol, alcoholism and alcoholics.
He recommended I go to an AA meeting with him.
I declined. I told him I had gotten myself into this mess, and would go to a meeting on my own.
After walking past the building twice and seeing the people going in, I was to afraid to go in.
Finally, I went in. It was a speaker meeting and the people in the room ran the gamut of lifestyles .
They were nice to me even though I didn't speak. I related to them. Looking around the room, it was amazing to me how many people were there with the same objective, to share our common affliction with drink.
We held hands, in a circle, and recited the Our Father at the end of the meeting.
I was changed. I didn't know there were so many others like me.
The man who met me at first stayed together. He was my Angel. I kept going to meetings. I had a few slips, but now everything had changed between booze and me.
I was a bad drunk, and it's been four years eleven months since I felt the need to drink.
The man who first met me never told me what he did for a living. I ran into a friend, and fellow alcoholic, and he knew the man. He was multi-millionaire developer. How humble a man to take the time to talk to this drunken loser.
He saved my life. Prayer. It worked. It's still working. And now I help other alcoholics.
Amazing.
I guess that wasn't short. But it's how I was, what happened and how I am now.
You're doing all the right things, and I appreciate your post.
Thank you, and keep it up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Pueblo, Colorado
Posts: 26
Thanksgiving came and went and it seemed like my wife and I spent all of yesterday continuously cleaning the kitchen. Guess that happens when you cook a lot of food.
I thought I might share a bit of my story and perhaps use this thread as a bit of a recovery journal. I'm not sure I can recall my first taste of beer, but I can recall my first raging drunk when I was 16, It was the end of my freshman year in high school and my class had a wild woodsy party and I puked rum for a day or two. Saturday night drinking became part of what I did all through high school and then in college it escalated to a nearly every day occurrence. I was able to successfully graduate and set about skiing for a year after I graduated. I took my first real job in 1988 and continued on with the drinking. I met my wife in a bar. She drank like a normal person for a few years and then just pretty much quit. I expect she has had maybe 10 drinks over the past 20 years.
I, on the other hand, kept right at it and explored the wonderful world of craft beers for quite a few years. I ended up leaving a couple of jobs before I could get fired because I was spending more time pondering drinking, obsessing over quitting time and planning out my assault on the next 12 pack and less time doing the actual work. I finally was fired from a decent teaching job in a nasty little town in 2012 and focused hard on drinking and getting another teaching job.
We moved to our new town in the summer of 2012 and I soon scoped out all of the liquor stores. My custom at the end of a workday was to drive to a liquor store about 10 miles from our country house and the take a 25 mile gravel road detour and toss back a few beers. This went on for about a year until our second son came home from college for the summer and complained that I always drank ALL the beer in the refrigerator and had turned into more of a mean guy than the dad he knew. So I went to an AA meeting and started trying to get sober.
Steps 1 and 2 seemed pretty easy and the urge to drink seemed to disappear. I spent that summer(2013) and fall and early winter not drinking. Because it seemed so easy, I quit going to meetings and stopped working at all on my spiritual state and along about March of 2014 I decided I likely wasn't an alcoholic and started having a beer or two to relax. It didn't take long for me to fall right back into my old habits of drinking to oblivion almost every day. I realized that I was also getting back to my obsession about drinking and spent my days planning out my next drink and started ignoring work.
My last drunk was on October 9 of this year. I was having a crappy day and ignoring my responsibilities to my family and to my job and started drinking at 12:01 p.m. By 6 p.m. I was heading toward a blackout and when I woke up the next morning, I knew that this had to change. Fortunately, I had to take a group of students to a conference that weekend and would be locked away in a hotel and would not be able to drink. I spent all of my free time while there reading the BB and praying.
I went to a meeting on the next Monday and started back on step work. This time I had a little more idea of what to expect and spent much time in reflection on what I was hearing and reading. I hit many different meetings over the course of the next couple of weeks and met several guys that offered to be available to help when I needed. I guess one of them became my sponsor as we talk on the phone several times per week and have been getting together to read through the BB and truly work on the steps.
A month and a half have flown by pretty quickly and I am starting to feel good again. I'm starting to open up and actually talk before, during and after meetings and am not breathlessly arriving 1 minute prior to the start and rushing out after the last "it works if you work" fades away.
I'm a slow learner, but I finally realized that I am completely powerless over alcohol and that only God can restore my life. He is doing it right now and I sincerely want to stay in fellowship with Him and let Him do with me what He will.
I thought I might share a bit of my story and perhaps use this thread as a bit of a recovery journal. I'm not sure I can recall my first taste of beer, but I can recall my first raging drunk when I was 16, It was the end of my freshman year in high school and my class had a wild woodsy party and I puked rum for a day or two. Saturday night drinking became part of what I did all through high school and then in college it escalated to a nearly every day occurrence. I was able to successfully graduate and set about skiing for a year after I graduated. I took my first real job in 1988 and continued on with the drinking. I met my wife in a bar. She drank like a normal person for a few years and then just pretty much quit. I expect she has had maybe 10 drinks over the past 20 years.
I, on the other hand, kept right at it and explored the wonderful world of craft beers for quite a few years. I ended up leaving a couple of jobs before I could get fired because I was spending more time pondering drinking, obsessing over quitting time and planning out my assault on the next 12 pack and less time doing the actual work. I finally was fired from a decent teaching job in a nasty little town in 2012 and focused hard on drinking and getting another teaching job.
We moved to our new town in the summer of 2012 and I soon scoped out all of the liquor stores. My custom at the end of a workday was to drive to a liquor store about 10 miles from our country house and the take a 25 mile gravel road detour and toss back a few beers. This went on for about a year until our second son came home from college for the summer and complained that I always drank ALL the beer in the refrigerator and had turned into more of a mean guy than the dad he knew. So I went to an AA meeting and started trying to get sober.
Steps 1 and 2 seemed pretty easy and the urge to drink seemed to disappear. I spent that summer(2013) and fall and early winter not drinking. Because it seemed so easy, I quit going to meetings and stopped working at all on my spiritual state and along about March of 2014 I decided I likely wasn't an alcoholic and started having a beer or two to relax. It didn't take long for me to fall right back into my old habits of drinking to oblivion almost every day. I realized that I was also getting back to my obsession about drinking and spent my days planning out my next drink and started ignoring work.
My last drunk was on October 9 of this year. I was having a crappy day and ignoring my responsibilities to my family and to my job and started drinking at 12:01 p.m. By 6 p.m. I was heading toward a blackout and when I woke up the next morning, I knew that this had to change. Fortunately, I had to take a group of students to a conference that weekend and would be locked away in a hotel and would not be able to drink. I spent all of my free time while there reading the BB and praying.
I went to a meeting on the next Monday and started back on step work. This time I had a little more idea of what to expect and spent much time in reflection on what I was hearing and reading. I hit many different meetings over the course of the next couple of weeks and met several guys that offered to be available to help when I needed. I guess one of them became my sponsor as we talk on the phone several times per week and have been getting together to read through the BB and truly work on the steps.
A month and a half have flown by pretty quickly and I am starting to feel good again. I'm starting to open up and actually talk before, during and after meetings and am not breathlessly arriving 1 minute prior to the start and rushing out after the last "it works if you work" fades away.
I'm a slow learner, but I finally realized that I am completely powerless over alcohol and that only God can restore my life. He is doing it right now and I sincerely want to stay in fellowship with Him and let Him do with me what He will.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 65
Thank you for that testimony. We can all relate in some way or the other. I don't know if your kid(s) are married, or if grandchildren are there, but believe me, when and if they come, it will encourage you tremendously. My granddaughter did. Who wants to be remembered as that "grumpy drunk grandpa who died young?"
Stay strong!
Stay strong!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Pueblo, Colorado
Posts: 26
Updating! I received a 9 month last Saturday. I've been totally willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober and I can finally understand what it means when AA helps people "learn to live a sober life." The 12 steps are bringing about amazing changes in my life. My spiritual life is much richer than it ever has been, my family life is going wonderfully and blessings continue to flow around us. I still have challenges in clearing up the wreckage of my past, but I am becoming more and more capable of handling my problems. I spend time every day in prayer and writing. Still working on that meditation part.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by SLD 
I think you'll find this to be a good forum. I hope so. I am 3 days sober now, gonna have to work hard, I know. 1 day at a time.
I am a Christian. One thing that I think truly helps, beyond Church fellowship, is Scripture meditation. When you're feeling really low, craving, open your Bible, New Testament, find passages, any of them, and THINK, PONDER on what it says. Doesn't have to be anything related to sobriety. The FOCUS helps take your mind off things. And I find this is conducive to prayer, where you can unload.
I say this despite being 3 days off the juice because I struggled for a decade to be off opiates. Even though I failed (I'm on maintenance now) it helped me to understand and accept what I am, and know that I am still loved despite my failings.
Good luck to you!
I am a Christian. One thing that I think truly helps, beyond Church fellowship, is Scripture meditation. When you're feeling really low, craving, open your Bible, New Testament, find passages, any of them, and THINK, PONDER on what it says. Doesn't have to be anything related to sobriety. The FOCUS helps take your mind off things. And I find this is conducive to prayer, where you can unload.
I say this despite being 3 days off the juice because I struggled for a decade to be off opiates. Even though I failed (I'm on maintenance now) it helped me to understand and accept what I am, and know that I am still loved despite my failings.
Good luck to you!
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 148
Welcome Troy and congrats on your sober time 
. I have 6 full days under my belt and also use this site as my personal journal. Everyone is so supportive and we can all relate to each other. Sometimes, I feel like my posts are all about me and feel bad. Then I realize, someone who is reading can benefit and this is a judge- free zone. Keep up the good work and look forward to reading about your journey 
. I have 6 full days under my belt and also use this site as my personal journal. Everyone is so supportive and we can all relate to each other. Sometimes, I feel like my posts are all about me and feel bad. Then I realize, someone who is reading can benefit and this is a judge- free zone. Keep up the good work and look forward to reading about your journey 
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Originally Posted by TroyM
I'm a slow learner, but I finally realized that I am completely powerless over alcohol and that only God can restore my life. He is doing it right now and I sincerely want to stay in fellowship with Him and let Him do with me what He will.
Sounds to me like you are ready to start Step 4. Have you started writing?
Focus on moving forward--the solution, not the problems of the past-- and you will do great.
My sponsor taught me that God is in the present moment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Pueblo, Colorado
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by Centered3
If you focus on this^ and keep moving forward, you will continue to be well on your way to a wonderful journey of recovery. It's all about having a personal relationship with the God of our understanding.
Sounds to me like you are ready to start Step 4. Have you started writing?
Focus on moving forward--the solution, not the problems of the past-- and you will do great.
My sponsor taught me that God is in the present moment.
Sounds to me like you are ready to start Step 4. Have you started writing?
Focus on moving forward--the solution, not the problems of the past-- and you will do great.
My sponsor taught me that God is in the present moment.
I've been working with another man in AA most of the time. We read through the BB together and discuss what is going on. He gives me some advice on things I am doing and writing. We talk occasionally on the phone and get together as needed now. He listened to my 5th step. We rarely go to the same meetings - I'm an early bird and he is a night owl, but we share an interest in guitars and music, so that helps. He asks me for advice on raising teenagers (I'm a father and a high school teacher) and I ask him for advice in regards to sobriety and the steps. We are becoming friends and that is a good thing.
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