Like many of you, i'm scared.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Like many of you, i'm scared.
A little background on me. I'm almost 28 years old. I didn't even have my first drop of alcohol until I was 23. I would only drink casually on the weekends for 2 years. Then I became unemployed and I spiraled out of control.
I was drinking morning, noon and night. I was adopted, but I kept in contact with my biological mother when I could. I never knew she was an alcoholic. She just died last month from liver failure at the age of 43.
Ever since then and even months before her death I had started to cut back. I would be doing so well, then go on a weekend bender and have to start all over again.
After my mother died I decided to get some bloodwork done. I was 100% sure my liver levels would be high. But they used the words "very high" and said they also wanted to do a hepatitis test and an ultrasound and refer me to a gastroenterologist. That terrified me and made me believe this was much worse than I could have ever imagined. I don't have insurance. I haven't for years. I can't afford it. I don't qualify for medicaid. So now i'm left with all of this fear and so many unanswered questions.
I started obsessively searching online, reading all about the liver. How everyone is different. Some people can drink heavily for 20 years and be fine etc. And that the liver can regenerate. I started feeling some hope. And then I remember reading someone's post on here about you can already have cirrhosis and not even show symptoms.
It makes me feel helpless. Like why even stop drinking if i've already ruined my liver to the point of no return? So I can have 5 extra years of life? 2? Who knows. I know anyone who responds is going to say you can't give medical advice. Believe me if I could afford it I would have been venting to a doctor but now I feel this is the only place I can vent. Thank you to anyone who reads this.
I was drinking morning, noon and night. I was adopted, but I kept in contact with my biological mother when I could. I never knew she was an alcoholic. She just died last month from liver failure at the age of 43.
Ever since then and even months before her death I had started to cut back. I would be doing so well, then go on a weekend bender and have to start all over again.
After my mother died I decided to get some bloodwork done. I was 100% sure my liver levels would be high. But they used the words "very high" and said they also wanted to do a hepatitis test and an ultrasound and refer me to a gastroenterologist. That terrified me and made me believe this was much worse than I could have ever imagined. I don't have insurance. I haven't for years. I can't afford it. I don't qualify for medicaid. So now i'm left with all of this fear and so many unanswered questions.
I started obsessively searching online, reading all about the liver. How everyone is different. Some people can drink heavily for 20 years and be fine etc. And that the liver can regenerate. I started feeling some hope. And then I remember reading someone's post on here about you can already have cirrhosis and not even show symptoms.
It makes me feel helpless. Like why even stop drinking if i've already ruined my liver to the point of no return? So I can have 5 extra years of life? 2? Who knows. I know anyone who responds is going to say you can't give medical advice. Believe me if I could afford it I would have been venting to a doctor but now I feel this is the only place I can vent. Thank you to anyone who reads this.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi relena- welcome 
I don't know if your liver is wrecked or not and, as you suggest,. no one can tell you that anyway over the internet - you need a face to face examination, tests etc with a Dr.
I appreciate the associated cost but there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics - NeedyMeds
Call 2-1-1
What I can share with you is my experience. I was sure I only had months to live, perhaps weeks. but in fact my general health, including my liver, was much better than it had a right to be.
You'll hear that again and again in a lot of stories.
Do find a way to see a Dr...if there is a problem, you're way better off knowing as early as possible...but the odds are that things are nowhere near as bad as you think
D
I don't know if your liver is wrecked or not and, as you suggest,. no one can tell you that anyway over the internet - you need a face to face examination, tests etc with a Dr.
I appreciate the associated cost but there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics - NeedyMeds
The 10377 clinics in this database are free, low cost, low cost with a sliding scale based on income, or offer some type of financial assistance.
2-1-1 provides free and confidential information and referral. Call 2-1-1 for help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more. Learn more about your local 2-1-1 by looking it up here.
You'll hear that again and again in a lot of stories.
Do find a way to see a Dr...if there is a problem, you're way better off knowing as early as possible...but the odds are that things are nowhere near as bad as you think
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi relena- welcome
I don't know if your liver is wrecked or not and, as you suggest,. no one can tell you that anyway over the internet - you need a face to face examination, tests etc with a Dr.
I appreciate the associated cost but there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
What I can share with you is my experience. I was sure I only had months to live, perhaps weeks. but in fact my general health, including my liver, was much better than it had a right to be.
You'll hear that again and again in a lot of stories.
Do find a way to see a Dr...if there is a problem, you're way better off knowing as early as possible...but the odds are that things are nowhere near as bad as you think
D
I don't know if your liver is wrecked or not and, as you suggest,. no one can tell you that anyway over the internet - you need a face to face examination, tests etc with a Dr.
I appreciate the associated cost but there are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
What I can share with you is my experience. I was sure I only had months to live, perhaps weeks. but in fact my general health, including my liver, was much better than it had a right to be.
You'll hear that again and again in a lot of stories.
Do find a way to see a Dr...if there is a problem, you're way better off knowing as early as possible...but the odds are that things are nowhere near as bad as you think
D
Thank you for the info, i'll try calling that number. To my knowledge we only have a hospital in one part of town that is supposed to be for people with no insurance but it's nearly impossible to get into.
And i'm glad your liver was ok in the end. Must have been the biggest weight off your shoulders.
Also thank you badger.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, Relena! I'm glad you found us here. Obviously we're not doctors but never drinking again is going to help you a lot. The body has a remarkable capacity to heal itself, and it starts as soon as we quit poisoning it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,430
Sobriety and taking care of yourself can do absolutely amazing things for your recovery.
Why don't you focus on this, and get another liver panel in three months or so?
I have read many stories on this list of people who actually got "normal" panels after simply quitting and looking after themselves.
I also thought I'd done terrible damage, but got a "normal" screening after a period of sobriety.
We can't give medical advice here, but I do know that Dr. Google will make you fearful and not really offer any answers unique to you.
Worry doesn't help, but abstaining, and working a recovery program, really should
Welcome to SR relena--
Why don't you focus on this, and get another liver panel in three months or so?
I have read many stories on this list of people who actually got "normal" panels after simply quitting and looking after themselves.
I also thought I'd done terrible damage, but got a "normal" screening after a period of sobriety.
We can't give medical advice here, but I do know that Dr. Google will make you fearful and not really offer any answers unique to you.
Worry doesn't help, but abstaining, and working a recovery program, really should
Welcome to SR relena--
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Just my experience. A couple of weeks after stopping drinking my levels were high. A month after they were still high, but dropping. I'm going to go again next week to see where they are. In the mean time I've had the hep tests, a number of other blood tests and a ct scan. All came back clear. This really doesn't mean anything to you since everyone is different. Only your Dr.will be able to tell your for sure. But your young, I'm 30 years older than you, and the liver is an amazing organ that can repair its self. So don't panic yet. Let your dr. tell you what's really up.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
When I quit this time around, I went to my doctor and my liver levels were high as well. I also have fatty liver syndrome which makes things worse. My blood pressure was also "extremely high" to the point that the doctor was very worried. When I went back weeks later, the liver numbers were a little better and my blood pressure was way down. My doctor said it will take at least six months before they can really tell anything so don't panic. The key is to stay away from the drinking. The body (and liver in particular) is very good at healing itself if you give it the right treatment. I'm 32 and didn't start drinking until I was 21 and didn't start heavily drinking until I was 25 just to give some context. Stay away from the evil stuff and I'm confident you will see positive results since you are still so young. Be strong!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I had a liver biopsy. It was done as an outpatient procedure at the hospital. I didn't even have to undress. They don't knock you out. They use a long hollow needle and just poke it into the liver from just under your ribs on the right side in the front. That gets them a big enough sample. Totally non-painful, took about 5 seconds. I left the hospital an hour later. It's no worse than getting a flu shot. They just watch you for an hour to make sure there isn't excessive bleeding. Invasive but not majorly so.
The liver is very good at healing and it's a big organ - I hope you can relax a little bit. There is a good chance everything is fine or will be if you stay away from alcohol.
The liver is very good at healing and it's a big organ - I hope you can relax a little bit. There is a good chance everything is fine or will be if you stay away from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
I don't think this qualifies as medical advice to say that going back to punishing your liver by drinking because you might, possibly, have damaged it already makes no sense whatsoever.
As the saying goes, when you're already in a hole, regardless of how deep it is, step one, stop digging.
As the saying goes, when you're already in a hole, regardless of how deep it is, step one, stop digging.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi relena hugs and prayers.. oh my Dear child.. from so many here.. sorry to hear about your birth mom... DNA is so important.. and what biminiblue has said here is true true true... you are young .. your body is still in the works so to speak and you have not been a drinker for years and years.. please don't do any meds. for that screws up the whole body. and as my hubby is finding it does not fix well... tea do lots of herbal teas. when you need something fun. hot cold with ice. made into ice cubes. I love it. the Forte or Faval have hundreds to pick from that are so good for you.. and can help.. little by little.. right now you are afraid because of the death of this dear lady.... so inhale stand up straight there you go.. you hold tight to this silly silly group of lovely people and you will get better.. promise with my apron on and hands drying on a towel.. love kiddo and so may prayers.. ardy wisconsin
from so many here.. sorry to hear about your birth mom... DNA is so important.. and what biminiblue has said here is true true true... you are young .. your body is still in the works so to speak and you have not been a drinker for years and years.. please don't do any meds. for that screws up the whole body. and as my hubby is finding it does not fix well... tea do lots of herbal teas. when you need something fun. hot cold with ice. made into ice cubes. I love it. the Forte or Faval have hundreds to pick from that are so good for you.. and can help.. little by little.. right now you are afraid because of the death of this dear lady.... so inhale stand up straight there you go.. you hold tight to this silly silly group of lovely people and you will get better.. promise with my apron on and hands drying on a towel.. love kiddo and so may prayers.. ardy wisconsin
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I had a liver biopsy. It was done as an outpatient procedure at the hospital. I didn't even have to undress. They don't knock you out. They use a long hollow needle and just poke it into the liver from just under your ribs on the right side in the front. That gets them a big enough sample. Totally non-painful, took about 5 seconds. I left the hospital an hour later. It's no worse than getting a flu shot. They just watch you for an hour to make sure there isn't excessive bleeding. Invasive but not majorly so.
The liver is very good at healing and it's a big organ - I hope you can relax a little bit. There is a good chance everything is fine or will be if you stay away from alcohol.
The liver is very good at healing and it's a big organ - I hope you can relax a little bit. There is a good chance everything is fine or will be if you stay away from alcohol.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Sobriety and taking care of yourself can do absolutely amazing things for your recovery.
Why don't you focus on this, and get another liver panel in three months or so?
I have read many stories on this list of people who actually got "normal" panels after simply quitting and looking after themselves.
I also thought I'd done terrible damage, but got a "normal" screening after a period of sobriety.
We can't give medical advice here, but I do know that Dr. Google will make you fearful and not really offer any answers unique to you.
Worry doesn't help, but abstaining, and working a recovery program, really should
Welcome to SR relena--
Why don't you focus on this, and get another liver panel in three months or so?
I have read many stories on this list of people who actually got "normal" panels after simply quitting and looking after themselves.
I also thought I'd done terrible damage, but got a "normal" screening after a period of sobriety.
We can't give medical advice here, but I do know that Dr. Google will make you fearful and not really offer any answers unique to you.
Worry doesn't help, but abstaining, and working a recovery program, really should
Welcome to SR relena--
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I had a liver biopsy. It was done as an outpatient procedure at the hospital. I didn't even have to undress. They don't knock you out. They use a long hollow needle and just poke it into the liver from just under your ribs on the right side in the front. That gets them a big enough sample. Totally non-painful, took about 5 seconds. I left the hospital an hour later. It's no worse than getting a flu shot. They just watch you for an hour to make sure there isn't excessive bleeding. Invasive but not majorly so.
The liver is very good at healing and it's a big organ - I hope you can relax a little bit. There is a good chance everything is fine or will be if you stay away from alcohol.
The liver is very good at healing and it's a big organ - I hope you can relax a little bit. There is a good chance everything is fine or will be if you stay away from alcohol.
Originally Posted by OpenTuning
I don't think this qualifies as medical advice to say that going back to punishing your liver by drinking because you might, possibly, have damaged it already makes no sense whatsoever.
As the saying goes, when you're already in a hole, regardless of how deep it is, step one, stop digging.
As the saying goes, when you're already in a hole, regardless of how deep it is, step one, stop digging.
Originally Posted by Joanne B
Welcome, relena!
There's lots of support here if you want to stop.
There's lots of support here if you want to stop.
JD and Zeldafan thank you as well. I'm not good at figuring out how to quote multiple people yet on here. But i'm also glad that you recovered. And thank you for the support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I hope you will just be kind to yourself. I know I really beat myself up for bad choices, but what's done is done and the best thing is to look forward, not back.
I'm glad you've stopped drinking. That's the main thing.
And, yeah. Dr. Google is a horrible way to get diagnosed. Been there, too.
There's a lot of generalized anxiety in early sobriety. Many of these obsessive, intrusive thoughts will die down in time. Hang with us here, we're a good bunch. I'm glad you found us.
I'm glad you've stopped drinking. That's the main thing.
And, yeah. Dr. Google is a horrible way to get diagnosed. Been there, too.
There's a lot of generalized anxiety in early sobriety. Many of these obsessive, intrusive thoughts will die down in time. Hang with us here, we're a good bunch. I'm glad you found us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by ardy
Hi relena hugs and prayers.. oh my Dear child.. from so many here.. sorry to hear about your birth mom... DNA is so important.. and what biminiblue has said here is true true true... you are young .. your body is still in the works so to speak and you have not been a drinker for years and years.. please don't do any meds. for that screws up the whole body. and as my hubby is finding it does not fix well... tea do lots of herbal teas. when you need something fun. hot cold with ice. made into ice cubes. I love it. the Forte or Faval have hundreds to pick from that are so good for you.. and can help.. little by little.. right now you are afraid because of the death of this dear lady.... so inhale stand up straight there you go.. you hold tight to this silly silly group of lovely people and you will get better.. promise with my apron on and hands drying on a towel.. love kiddo and so may prayers.. ardy wisconsin
from so many here.. sorry to hear about your birth mom... DNA is so important.. and what biminiblue has said here is true true true... you are young .. your body is still in the works so to speak and you have not been a drinker for years and years.. please don't do any meds. for that screws up the whole body. and as my hubby is finding it does not fix well... tea do lots of herbal teas. when you need something fun. hot cold with ice. made into ice cubes. I love it. the Forte or Faval have hundreds to pick from that are so good for you.. and can help.. little by little.. right now you are afraid because of the death of this dear lady.... so inhale stand up straight there you go.. you hold tight to this silly silly group of lovely people and you will get better.. promise with my apron on and hands drying on a towel.. love kiddo and so may prayers.. ardy wisconsinMember
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I hope you will just be kind to yourself. I know I really beat myself up for bad choices, but what's done is done and the best thing is to look forward, not back.
I'm glad you've stopped drinking. That's the main thing.
And, yeah. Dr. Google is a horrible way to get diagnosed. Been there, too.
There's a lot of generalized anxiety in early sobriety. Many of these obsessive, intrusive thoughts will die down in time. Hang with us here, we're a good bunch. I'm glad you found us.
I'm glad you've stopped drinking. That's the main thing.
And, yeah. Dr. Google is a horrible way to get diagnosed. Been there, too.
There's a lot of generalized anxiety in early sobriety. Many of these obsessive, intrusive thoughts will die down in time. Hang with us here, we're a good bunch. I'm glad you found us.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Originally Posted by relena
Yeah it doesn't help i've had anxiety and depression since I was a little girl. It's been hell but i'm finding small ways to cope. I'm looking so forward to being able to sleep again too. And i'm really glad I found you all as well.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by relena
What can I say, i'm self-defeating and pathetic.
Thank you, I already have stopped. I'll hang around if I start to feel weak again.
Thank you, I already have stopped. I'll hang around if I start to feel weak again.
Not for a minute!I hope you continue to hang around, there is so much hope and support offered on this wonderful site! No one is left behind
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