joey8262

Hi folks, aint been online for a while-just personal stuff. . . . .REALLY need to speak to someone with knowledge of self harm.

I could say "it's not for me" but I'd be lying. . . .. .NOT suicidal-just lost.

Coldfusion

Hi Joey!

I really don't have any personal experience with direct self-harm, but you may find some good information here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lf-injury.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...982-i-cut.html

Soberwolf

Have you spoken to a Dr about this ? I used to self harm I stopped over 10 years ago scarred for life don't make the same mistake I did

Really positive move reaching out btw

I'm going bed now but if you feel like talking about this drop a pm & il reply in the morning my friend (I'm in the uk its 9pm)

Anna

I'm sorry you're hurting and lost.

I'm sending you a PM.

Cow

I was self harm with cutting, but moreso with self bruising and making scar and burn and stuff. Was always clear to me this was to manifest outside the pain of inside and plus also to gain sympathies, cuz, you know, hey, look at me, I got huge bruise on my arm!!

I not gonna lie, 40 years later since I actively self harm, I still get risky with some of my behaviors. I not actively hurting self, but if I crash dirtbike and big bruise show up, I little bit proud of that. Is something I need to look at.

What going on with you?

Dee74

Not running you off SR by any means, but this is a link to a really good board dedicated to this problem, recommended by others here:

bus ? Index page

Soberwolf

Hi Joey how are you today

joey8262

Hi, I may have been a bit aggressive yesterday-my apologies. . .. .I googled the way I've been and my sypmtoms-my doctor's about as much as a handbrake on a microlight. . . . . . .I've been through quite a lot over the last 5 years-and it's now manifesting itself in some sort of self-hating obsession. . .

WHAT normal person rips their own toe-nails out ? and is happy when they see blood. . . . .nobody else's-just their own.

I'm just wondering what could have turned me into such a weirdo. . . . .I'm OK with other people but I try to be as far away from them as I can. .. .. .it's weird.

Step12

If you're doing something like that you need to seek help right away the doctors help

biminiblue

Self-harming is pretty common, and there is a way out. Keep reading and keep searching. Peace is available.

joey8262

the doctor's help comes in the form of counselling, I'm in the UK and the waiting list for the places that haven't been closed down is ridiculous-I've been through crisis team metting after meeting-only to be told there was no "plan B".

I'm a self hating basket case and it doesn't seem to matter. . . it's just WRONG.

biminiblue

I found forgiving myself and others for less-than-stellar choices is a very healing thing, and it was the only way I was able to move forward without that weight on my back. I don't want to add on any more things to beat myself up about, you know?

Whatever is in your past that you are hating yourself for, I hope you will find a way to forgive it. Keep reading and posting here, there is a lot of collective wisdom.

I did all of my inner work through forums, journaling, reading, and prayer and meditation mixed with exercise, good healthy food and plenty of sleep. It's not always possible to get in to see someone when thoughts of self-harm pop up - so I had to find ways to break the behaviors without professional help. It is possible - so don't wait for a doctor to tell you what to do necessarily. You have the power to heal your own life.

joey8262

still doing it-feel so deflated.

doggonecarl

I think you need the support of people who understand the problem. When I google "Self Harm support groups -- Liverpool, UK" I get a number of hits. Have you tried them? Are those groups not active?

joey8262

do you think I want to admit it ? I'm 43

self harming is for teen emos.

Soberwolf

Joey I used to self harm in my teens and i wasnt a emo i have scars that will be there for life horrible noticiable laceration scars

How bad & often are you doing this have you told a dr and if your losing blood go straight to the A & E

Some ppl think it's a cry for help where for me it was exchanging pain for pain that was how illogical my thinking was

Talk to your Dr about possible counselling & like Carl pointed out
find support

joey8262

well folks, it's 3 years since this post. . . . . .still waiting for counselling although I am on some sort of waiting list having been assessed and stepped up on the list because of the whole toenail thing (still happening).

on the plus side, I went into detox in Liverpool April 2017-and haven't touched a DROP since.

sorry for being "out there" back then-dark places and times.........still not out of the woods but the monkey's gone off my back.

Dee74

I'm really glad to read you're sober - sorry for the ridiculous wait for pdoc help tho Joey.

D