Badga

Yes, I am here again, wanting to get rid of my alcohol addiction. Been drinking every day, 8 to 10 units of G&T mainly, every single evening for the past 11 years. Living alone doesn't help, but I have lived alone previously without drinking, so why can I not seem to do it now. Feel like I have exhausted all avenues. Although it helps a lot of people, AA did not help me. Tried counselling with a woman who suggested I give myself 'butterfly hugs'. Went to the GP who first prescribed acamprosate, which did nothing for me, then sent me to the local addiction unit who told me that the city in which I live has plenty of things for me to do and to go out and find something (like I have not already tried that? I now have a house full of life drawing and ceramics); what about exercise?.....yes, I have already had an addiction to that as well thank you. The GP then prescribed nalmafene and an alcohol worker. Halved my consumption, but could not give it up altogether. Plus had side effects. The alcohol worker thought it was just a habit and perhaps try cooking in the evening instead? Fine, except I also have a history of bulimia as well. A habit? A hobby? No, it's a brain addiction and only a drinker truly understands why another drinker drinks. Which is why I am returning here.

Watched a TV programme about George Best the other night. He couldn't stop, 'liked drinking'. Yup, I get that. He at one point had Antabuse injected into him. Stopped for seven months, but returned to drinking. I completely understood him. The addiction to alcohol is truly awful for anyone who experiences it, and there is a difference between those whose brain is not susceptible to the addictive properties of alcohol, and those, like me, who struggle daily to not drink and harm their health.

I just feel so trapped!

Dee74

Hi Badga

for me, after everything I tried, only one thing worked - I stopped drinking.

I don't mean that to sound flippant...I really came to an acceptance that might drinking would kill me, slowly, but only after it took everything dear from me first.

I had no idea what a life without drinking might be like, but I knew it was my only viable alternative.

what do you think keeps you drinking (outside of the obvious 'I'm an alcoholic' answer?)

D

2muchpain

I was wondering about several things regarding your post.
How long did you stick with AA and why do you think it did not help you? What do you think was missing?
As far as going to the gym, I would probably be considered a gym rat. I spend a lot of time there. Yeah, I can see how someone might consider it an addiction, and maybe it is, but the physical and mental workouts I get there has helped me to avoid many relapses. It's not for everyone, but it works great for me. I live alone to, and talking to the people there also helps a lot.
Have you considered a different GP?
Have you had a chance to look into AVERT, Smart Recovery or any other programs that might be a good fit for you?
What about volunteering to help give you something positive to do?
For me, I know my sobriety plan is only limited by the limitations I place on myself. But I know everybody is different and approaches sobriety differently. Hope you find what works for you. John

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Badga!!

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Badga.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you Bagda

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Dee74

how's it going Badga?

D

Badga

Hi Dee

Thank you so much for asking. That means a lot. On the whole, not been good. However, I have decided to make today my quit day.

Badga x

biminiblue

That's good to hear, Badga. You are really not different from any of us who obsessed over alcohol. The fact that we can all quit can give you hope.

Today, don't pick up a drink. Put some clean sheets on the bed and clean the bathroom. Tidy up around the house, do the dishes. Begin some self-care.

I made a lot of changes, and life is so much better and easier and I feel like a completely different person. It started with not picking up a drink day by day and then slowing adding in things that helped me feel better emotionally, spiritually and physically.

FreeOwl

Hiya Badga....

You say you've tried it all and it didn't work?

I say - keep trying it all. This time more deeply.

Yes, I'm aware that may be a frustrating response..... but let's take AA. Well, that didn't work for me either.

The first couple of times.

Counseling? Yeah... marital counseling, individual counseling, group counseling.... those didn't work for me either.

Until they did.

Exercise? Yeah.... I can't even count the number of runs I've ended at the bar. The workouts I chased down with booze 'rewards'. Exercise didn't keep me sober.

But without exercise my sobriety is threatened.

See.... for many of us, maybe even most of us, it is a combination of things amounting to a fundamental shift of life that makes sobriety possible.

It is some sort of face-to-face support from others who understand. It is virtual support - there whenever we need it. It is exercise and healthy choices that support healthy living and reinforce our healthy choice of sobriety. It is reading - the Big Book, posts here, recovery literature; that keeps our head in recovery and keeps us learning. It is therapy that helps us address our inner wounds (butterfly hugs may sound and feel corny.... but your counselor may have been onto something. We often resist that which we most need). It is changing our habits, where we hang out, what we do, how we think, what we focus on.

It is decidedly NOT just "Not Drinking". That is only the one thing that turns the key in the door and opens it enough for us to enter into the REAL work of sobriety.

And if that all sounds a bit daunting, well that's because it IS.

But it is worth it. It is the most worthwhile thing you will ever set about to do for yourself.

least

Glad you're giving sobriety another go.

Bunny211

I was like you. I took a drastic approach and got involved in Big Book Step Study - a sect of AA. Regular AA did not work for me either. I was a broken person when I came to BBSS.

Alcoholic? check
Bulimic? check
Food addiction? check
Addicted to attention? check
Warped thinking? check

Through working the steps I have uncovered a lot of my fears and character flaws and am working on removing those so that I can have a life I don't feel the need to escape from. The day to day is where I live so I need to cultivate a life of joy and peace. I'm doing just that...a little at a time.

I suggest you look up AA Big Book Step Study (Hyannis Method). It worked for me when everything else failed.

Good luck to you!

Soberwolf

You can do this Bagda