LivingBetter426

You are soooo right!!!! I definitely want to adapt to that mindset. Because I'm definitely always full of bull.... how long have u been sober? ?

LivingBetter426

This is probably the best advice. Thank you so much

LivingBetter426

Very very very true and such a good way of thinking. I needed this!!

PennyLane76

Please see a physician, they can help you with at home detox! Best to you!

Berrybean

Not that long - since March 5th 2014 (20 months). One month white-knuckling on my own. Then found this place and also started going to AA meetings and it was a bit easier, then got a sponsor and started step work October last year, and that's when things really started to get MUCH better. I can honestly say that I'm happier and less anxious than I have ever been in my life (including childhood).

Can I recommend you read Living Sober. It is an AA publication, but there are tips on adapting to sobriety that anyone (in or out of AA) will benefit from. The other one that really helped me was a little book called Monkey On My Shoulder. Both are available really cheaply from Amazon.

You can also find lots of info on here about devising your own sobriety plan - ways you plan to stay sober and cope with daily life and its challenges without drinking. It's well worth taking a look at those and starting to devise your own plan

I've copied and pasted the following from something I wrote on another thread....
'Basically coming up with a sobriety plan is a bit like working through a risk assessment for your drinking / drugging (or whatever other compulsive behaviours / addictions are messing your life up).

Some things are common to all. These are the HALT triggers: Hunger; Anger; Loneliness; Tiredness. So you would think not only, 'yeah, okay, I'll avoid those things', but think about HOW you'll avoid them, and how you'll know that you haven't avoided them (often in the early days I thought I was doing everything I should and had an almighty craving and then when I looked at my journal I could see that one of those things hadn't been watched carefully enough and maybe I'd started skipping lunch, or not getting as much rest as I should, or allowing myself to dwell on unhealthy resentments, or isolating at the weekends).

The other things to think about are your own risky areas for triggers.

Who are your slippery people? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
Where are your slippery places? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
When are your slippery times? How can you minimize their impact on you - this forum has been invaluable to me when working out strategies for dealing with some occasions that were challenging. (Eg. a hen weekend in Berlin; best mates wedding; Christmas holidays; and many more.)

My personal sobriety plan includes AA meetings and the 12-step recovery program. It did, at one point, include a counsellor (but I wasn't particularly honest with her - or my doctor come to think of it.). Some people include rehab; SMART meetings; Psychological assessments; Doctors appointments; etc.; etc.'

This is a really good thread to explore as well... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Wishing you all the best for your journey to sobriety and recovery.

MelindaFlowers

Welcome. I had many blackouts similar to the one you described. They were horrifying. Are you ready to commit to sobriety and do whatever it takes to stop drinking? We are here to help you.

Meraviglioso

Hi and welcome LivingBetter! It sounds like your life has deteriorated into one, big mess. The great news is there is a way out if you choose it. I am so glad to read your post above but I have to point out to you that getting sober takes more, much more, than just a cheery declaration of "My life changes today" It is a good place to start, absolutely, but now is the time to start working on a solid plan to work that change. What will you do to stop drinking? What will you do when cravings hit (because they will come)? What will you do when you are at work and people are offering to buy you drinks? What will you do when you are stressed?
Posting here is a great tool but if I were you I would start building a solid foundation of tools to help keep sobriety as your #1 goal. Let us know how we can help.
Congratulations again on recognizing your problem and reaching out for help. You can do this!

LivingBetter426

Thank u for this honest response. You're right, I get excited easily. But I definitely need a solid plan. So far ive got 3days sober and no cravings what so ever. BUT i haven't been back to work yet. I go back tomorrow and i plan to work the early morning shift which is a lot more pleasant with a lot less drunks, and not a lot going on. My 2 bestfriends (and only friends) are moving away next month to cali and colorado, so I'll have no drinking buddies down here in fl, which is perfect . My bf doesnt drink, so they're won't be any alcohol in the house. ..what else do I need to ask myself to put together this plan??? How far ahead do I need to think? What else should I consider? I have to succeed at this and I am open to all ideas!!!

LivingBetter426

What's one of the worst things that's happened to you?, if you dont mind me asking** Other people stories are pretty motivating to stay sober as well

LivingBetter426

Congratulations on your 20 months!!!! That is truly amazing !!!!! I definitely want to go deeper into this like you did. How do I find a sponsor ? Do I have to go to an aa meeting? I just moved to a new area, but I will definitely look into this.

Thank you for the references, Im going to look up those books, and continue to stay on this site.
Can I ask you how do you deal with the HALT triggers?


Thank you so much!!

Berrybean

Trying some AA meeting would be a good start - and it'd be a good way to avoid the 'Loneliness' HALT trigger as you'd be meeting other people in your area who don't drink. Once you've met some people and you know who 'has what you want' and you think you could work with on your recovery (not necessarily the same as you'd like them to be your friend - I chose someone who is quite stern and to-the-point who I felt wouldn't give me too much wriggle-room) then you can ask them if they'd consider sponsoring you.

Sometimes it's hard to avoid HALT triggers, but often it's just a bit of forward planning. Making sure you eat well and regularly (which none of us feel like doing in early recovery); avoiding people or activities that are likely to make you angry - dressmaking is fine for me now, but it wouldn't have helped me much at the start as I get easily frustrated when something goes wrong. So plan activities that are soothing or allow you to work out frustration (sports can help here) - it all depends on your situation, an what you can afford time and money wise as well.

One thing that I found with any social situation is that I always felt safer being there and sober if I had an exit strategy - or at least a way of disappearing for half hour. People can be pretty tiring and challenging when we first enter sobriety, and a lot of social situations can be a bit 'slippery' anyway. So, if I couldn't avoid them, I made sure I had an exit strategy, and used it. Maybe popped to the shop for something; or the cash machine - and then had a coffee while I was out. Taking a phone call or similar can ease you our of a wearing conversation and give you time to think of a good change of subject.

None of it's rocket science - it's just stuff that we need to force ourselves to think through at first, while the obsession to drink is strongest, and while we're establishing new habits.

Hope some of that was helpful (it's 5.30 and I'm having breakfast, so not at my sparkiest )

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR