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Old 11-21-2015, 01:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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76 days and counting...feel like venting


I think my last post was just after I completed IOP treatment. Anyhow I'm still going strong with my sobriety. I haven't done much as far as meetings etc, but I've been doing the one thing that counts. Not drinking! I can say this has been one hell of a year for me. As it begins to wind down to 2016, and everything going on in the world today I'm sure it has been a hell of a year for a lot of people. This being my 76th day I can say I actually don't miss drinking. I went out with my manager and co-workers and they were drinking wine at dinner. I was slightly tempted, but didn't give in. It faded as the night went on to the point I didn't even think about it. So I'm staying strong!

On another note...life of course still has it very shi**y moments. I won't get into it to much, but basically is it me or is it just the way things are when you're already down and the sh*t keeps hitting the fan over and over? Sometimes I just think its me ha. I'm a born pessimist as I never had hope in anything really. I heard the quote "Expectations lead to suffering". Anyone a believer in that? I mean I'd like to believe things will eventually work out, but even being sober and facing problems in life head on isn't fun. Oh well I guess.

enough rambling
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Old 11-21-2015, 02:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
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On another note...life of course still has it very shi**y moments. I won't get into it to much, but basically is it me or is it just the way things are when you're already down and the sh*t keeps hitting the fan over and over? Sometimes I just think its me ha. I'm a born pessimist as I never had hope in anything really. I heard the quote "Expectations lead to suffering". Anyone a believer in that? I mean I'd like to believe things will eventually work out, but even being sober and facing problems in life head on isn't fun. Oh well I guess.

enough rambling
Yes, to the "Expectations lead to suffering" comment - a lot of the time we see what we expect to see. I heard a speaker describe his own pessimistic nature, saying that his hole in the fence was just below the cows tail. It made me giggle, but in an 'ouch' kind of way, knowing that I tended to only see the s**t myself in the past as well.

Being sober and facing problems is such a new thing to most of us in early recovery. No more hiding from problems under a fuzzy alcohol-blanket. For me, that's why meetings and step work and having my sponsor to talk to have been invaluable. Learning to be a grown-up would have been so much more painful without them. This is what the step-work does for us in AA. We keep ourself sober, and the program teaches us how to deal with life without alcohol. Of course, there are other things that can help with that as well - maybe it'd be worth seeking something out. The IOP work is just the start - if we want our recovery to continue it has to involve some seeking and doing.

Congratulations on your continuing sobriety. Over two months now - that's great
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Old 11-21-2015, 02:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My life got a lot better getitright - but it took a while. Hang in there, bud

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Old 11-21-2015, 02:30 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Your doing great GetRight keep up the good work
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Old 11-21-2015, 02:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
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76 days is huge.. almost to 90. You're really doing it getright. Just don't give in to the temptations. I avoided as many of those situations as possible in the first 90 days. Great job on the dinner. Meetings can help if you're facing difficulties.

Yes, learning to just accept life as it is, without expectations, or pessimism, or complaints, is very helpful in life. Good luck to you.
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Old 11-21-2015, 04:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hang in there Getright, you're doing great. I would bet on a level playing field, your life is much better today at day 76 than what it was when you were drinking, pessimism in all.

I don't think we can really change our core personalities, that's just who we are. When life throws s**t at us, most of us probably won't think to ourselves... "well, that's some awesome s**t, I really like how this smells". Life isn't always going to be pretty, we have all had our "down-in-the-dumps" times, I know I have too.

My life got better daily once I completely embraced sobriety and knew that drinking was death for me.

Keep up the good work, you are doing fantastic and congrats on 76!
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Old 11-21-2015, 08:22 AM   #7 (permalink)
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You're doing well, Getright! Life always has curveballs for us but I think we handle them better sober. I haven't found anything yet that is improved by drinking.

As far as pessimism, up to a point we are who we are. However, pessimist that I have always been, I am finally discovering that I feel so much better when I give myself a shove in a positive direction. Being positive can really become a habit, too and it now feels so much better :-)
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Old 11-21-2015, 10:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I am proud of you for dealing with the mess in life but still not giving in to a drink. 76 days is awesome! I hope you enjoyed yourself at your work get-together.
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Old 11-21-2015, 05:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I mean things are better in some area. My wife is no longer taking her anxiety meds since I quit drinking. She trusts me more now than before. Just life in itself has just been sucking. One thing after the next. Stress level couldn't be higher, but it is what it is.

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My life got a lot better getitright - but it took a while. Hang in there, bud

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Old 11-21-2015, 05:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I mean I basically have been taking it one day at a time for sure, but some days are just freaking rough when life decides to have its way. it hasn't brought me to the brink of drinking though. I already know where that gets me...broke, jail, jobless, anxious, dry heaving, and the list goes on. With everything going on in the world today my problems are minor (ISIS, bombings, Paris..etc) but of course when you're the one going through things it feels like the world is on your shoulders.

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Originally Posted by Beccybean View Post
Yes, to the "Expectations lead to suffering" comment - a lot of the time we see what we expect to see. I heard a speaker describe his own pessimistic nature, saying that his hole in the fence was just below the cows tail. It made me giggle, but in an 'ouch' kind of way, knowing that I tended to only see the s**t myself in the past as well.

Being sober and facing problems is such a new thing to most of us in early recovery. No more hiding from problems under a fuzzy alcohol-blanket. For me, that's why meetings and step work and having my sponsor to talk to have been invaluable. Learning to be a grown-up would have been so much more painful without them. This is what the step-work does for us in AA. We keep ourself sober, and the program teaches us how to deal with life without alcohol. Of course, there are other things that can help with that as well - maybe it'd be worth seeking something out. The IOP work is just the start - if we want our recovery to continue it has to involve some seeking and doing.

Congratulations on your continuing sobriety. Over two months now - that's great
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Old 11-21-2015, 05:53 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm sorry that you're going through a stressful time.

I think expectations can often lead to disappointment. I think it's impossible to not have expectations in some situations, but I 'try' to let go of expectations as much as possible.
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