How do on go on?

Old 11-20-2015, 10:41 PM
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How do on go on?

My ex is an alcoholic, we were together 5 years, it got so bad as a non drinker I couldn't handle it anymore. He drank and chose alcohol over me. The worst that happened was him trying to stab me. After I bailed him out of jail he left to go live with his mom who allows him to drink all the time. Buys it for him. Now I found out he has met the love of his life, the fun party alcoholic I was not. It's destroyed me.I love him but he says she's the one.?
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Old 11-20-2015, 10:46 PM
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I'm sorry mbaker - it's never nice to hear that...but the thing is - your life sounds much better without him to me?

I had a friend here on SR a wise old lady who used to say 'some loves are not forever'.

Who's to say you won't meet the love of your life one day soon?

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Old 11-21-2015, 01:29 AM
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Yeah -- I've been that 'fun' party alcoholic. I assure you, it's NOT all fun.

To be honest, it sounds like you're well out of that relationship, as he'd obviously rather align himself with people who will enable his drinking than try to stop.

You are no longer with him, but a lot of the pain you are suffering is the same as if you still were. It may be worth going to some Al Anon meetings. They could help with a lot of those feelings so that you can recover from this experience so that you can move on from it and become ready for a new life, and new people, and maybe a new, emotional healthy, loving, respectful and responsible partner one day.

Please try to understand that his sickness, and the decisions he makes to enable it to progress, are in no way reflections on you.
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Old 11-21-2015, 02:17 AM
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Hmmmm.....'fun' party alcoholic ??? Hmmmm..... Usually turns out to be not so much.....hugs and let them have their 'fun'...
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Old 11-21-2015, 03:19 AM
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MB, try to let it go. You can't change him, only he can do that... no matter how much you loved / love him.

I've known life-time party alcoholics. The more that time goes on, the more destructive their lives get, the worse off their health and appearance get, the more they grasp to what they have left... the party. All of a sudden they turn around and realize they weren't living at all, just dying a slow death.

Sorry to hear about your ex, but it sounds like you made the right choice to make him your EX. Alcohol lies to us all, it's lying to him and creating a fake world that he sees as reality. Just be glad you're not a part of that destruction.
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Old 11-21-2015, 04:54 AM
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Welcome Mbaker
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Old 11-21-2015, 05:02 AM
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I can't think of too many good things about two active alcoholics finding one another.

Except that maybe one day it will get awful enough for them both that they finally get sober.

Relationships ending, love lost.... these are heartbreaking human experiences.

I'm glad for you, though, that you are not embroiled in an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with an addict.
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Old 11-21-2015, 11:59 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Mbaker!!
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Old 11-21-2015, 12:10 PM
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This has gotten me through a lot of ended relationships...just wanted to share.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

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Old 11-21-2015, 12:34 PM
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I hope that you find some peace in your life.
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