Voila! Weekend pass and 13 days sober!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Voila! Weekend pass and 13 days sober!
Hi I am just checking in to give those of you who have helped and encouraged me an update. I have earned a "weekend at home with my kids" from the rehab for my exemplary behaviour lol! To be serious . This is my first weekend home for 2 weeks .
How do I feel? About things, rehab, treatment... ? I feel AMAZING. Optimistic, positive, clear head, full of life, this is the longest I have not had a drink for many many years. I have dropped 7kgs in 13 days. YES you read that right, and feel as if I could run a marathon. I have virtually no cravings, I don't have that "I really could do with a drink feeling". I am taking Bacolfene which I feel is helping me but have refused all the other meds such as Xanax etc that I have taken in the past as I did not want to feel lethargic
This weekend will be my first big test of course. But so far so good. Children tucked up in bed. I am chilling out. I go back on Sunday for at least 2 more weeks, hopefully with another pass out next weekend! The agreement is clear, if I drink I tell them. No testing. It's on me to be truthful. I won't drink this weekend I know I won't.
I do still have this kind of vague image of me in the dim and distant future being able to one day enjoy a lovely couple of glasses of wine, and stop at 2 .. on a beautiful summers day on my deck. So, even though the cravings are under control for the moment and I am in control the AV is now saying that if he can't pursuade my to drink now then he will convince me that "one day" I will be able to enjoy a drink like a normal person. I guess that is normal, it is early days, I'll be working in that in rehab. At least for today AV has no power over me. I have learnt that instead of trying to reason or negotiate with AV in a passive conversation in my head that it is better to either ignore him completely when he tries to put in an appearance or to reply to him using my entire body to fuel my conviction and give me strength. So not just saying in my head "no because if I do then tomorrow I will feel this that and the other", I need to really feel and believe what I am saying, and why I am saying it ,with my body, my heart, my head, my senses. Can't explain it really but I have been working on some techniques which are helping me.
I am lucky. I have found a great programme. I nearly checked out on day 2 stupidly believing that the people in there with me are "not my type" and that they were all idiots. Shame in me I am so pleased to have stuck at it. Everyone there is strong and inspirational.
Sorry for the long post. Am feeling high on life instead of high on alcohol and I know which one I prefer. Thanks again for your support. Hope that everyone is doing well out there! Have a great weekend.
How do I feel? About things, rehab, treatment... ? I feel AMAZING. Optimistic, positive, clear head, full of life, this is the longest I have not had a drink for many many years. I have dropped 7kgs in 13 days. YES you read that right, and feel as if I could run a marathon. I have virtually no cravings, I don't have that "I really could do with a drink feeling". I am taking Bacolfene which I feel is helping me but have refused all the other meds such as Xanax etc that I have taken in the past as I did not want to feel lethargic
This weekend will be my first big test of course. But so far so good. Children tucked up in bed. I am chilling out. I go back on Sunday for at least 2 more weeks, hopefully with another pass out next weekend! The agreement is clear, if I drink I tell them. No testing. It's on me to be truthful. I won't drink this weekend I know I won't.
I do still have this kind of vague image of me in the dim and distant future being able to one day enjoy a lovely couple of glasses of wine, and stop at 2 .. on a beautiful summers day on my deck. So, even though the cravings are under control for the moment and I am in control the AV is now saying that if he can't pursuade my to drink now then he will convince me that "one day" I will be able to enjoy a drink like a normal person. I guess that is normal, it is early days, I'll be working in that in rehab. At least for today AV has no power over me. I have learnt that instead of trying to reason or negotiate with AV in a passive conversation in my head that it is better to either ignore him completely when he tries to put in an appearance or to reply to him using my entire body to fuel my conviction and give me strength. So not just saying in my head "no because if I do then tomorrow I will feel this that and the other", I need to really feel and believe what I am saying, and why I am saying it ,with my body, my heart, my head, my senses. Can't explain it really but I have been working on some techniques which are helping me.
I am lucky. I have found a great programme. I nearly checked out on day 2 stupidly believing that the people in there with me are "not my type" and that they were all idiots. Shame in me I am so pleased to have stuck at it. Everyone there is strong and inspirational.
Sorry for the long post. Am feeling high on life instead of high on alcohol and I know which one I prefer. Thanks again for your support. Hope that everyone is doing well out there! Have a great weekend.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Hey fabat, great to hear from you. And you sound like you're doing well. Do work on that AV though. What you're hearing is pretty typical, but dangerous. I know I've fallen for that in the past (hopefully).
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Fabat50 
I have earned a "weekend at home with my kids" from the rehab for my exemplary behaviour lol! To be serious . This is my first weekend home for 2 weeks .
Very exciting !
And it was kind of different for me -- not drinking and all.
Enjoy yourself and you know to stay away from slippery places.
That truly is important.
Some will test the waters -- only to near drown yet again.
MB
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
That sounds great, Fabat :-).
I think this will give you a good base to continue on your sober path. I know that the idea of drinking again in the future is tempting but it's best, IMHO, to think about and commit to the next 24 hours. Thinking in terms of the rest of our lives can feel overwhelming and discouraging.
At the same time, thinking of alcohol like a life-threatening allergy or similar and "simply" taking drinking off the table can be a powerful thought process. You'll find what works for you.
I think this will give you a good base to continue on your sober path. I know that the idea of drinking again in the future is tempting but it's best, IMHO, to think about and commit to the next 24 hours. Thinking in terms of the rest of our lives can feel overwhelming and discouraging.
At the same time, thinking of alcohol like a life-threatening allergy or similar and "simply" taking drinking off the table can be a powerful thought process. You'll find what works for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
What great news! You sound like you are doing amazing, I am so happy for you! Enjoy the weekend with your babies.
A quick question for you, I know you are in France, correct? Is your program in English? I am doing really well but want to have a list of options prepared (such as rehab) should I find myself wavering.
Thanks
A quick question for you, I know you are in France, correct? Is your program in English? I am doing really well but want to have a list of options prepared (such as rehab) should I find myself wavering.
Thanks
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