Im depleted
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
When I felt like this Maximus I prayed I have no religion but I have had faith since a child
One of the few keepsakes I kept after my mother died was a small tiny prayer with a coin in it, it was the saint jude prayer I still use it to this day
Make a point of trying to do the prayer every night for a week & if it helps use it all the time
The St Jude Prayer - A Powerful Prayer for Help
One of the few keepsakes I kept after my mother died was a small tiny prayer with a coin in it, it was the saint jude prayer I still use it to this day
Make a point of trying to do the prayer every night for a week & if it helps use it all the time
The St Jude Prayer - A Powerful Prayer for Help
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 28
I'll be thinking about you buddy. You can get through it. I'm still dealing with this too and I've found out it's kinda like a train...it takes a little while to build up that momentum and stay motivated. Just know that once you take the first step you're on the way to building up that momentum.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by maximus97 
Just checking bac and feel very blessed to have the support of all of you. I like the idea of right now and today free owl, ty. And yes Carl, I have to keep trying, I may not be there yet, but Im not a quitter by any means. Thanks to everyone who took time to encourage me, it means so much to me. I will keep moving forward.
and don't forget to log in here again first thing "tomorrow" so that I can remind you that it's once again TODAY... and we can discuss RIGHT NOW.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Yes soberwolf, im a praying person, and I know the novena to
St. Jude well. I do pray all the time, it does bring a measure of comfort. Ty.
Simpleman, thank you for the support. It helps so much to know Im not alone in this. Yes, we can do it!
Freeowl, I will check bac in tomorrow. I like your strategy. Its a done deal then!
Tomorrow's going to be a difficult day. Im having a second vet evaluate my sweet dog, who has already been diagnosed with a torn acl injury. Ive been stressed out about that too, and some other really big changes coming to my life soon. Its all kept me feeling anxious, then depressed. Its just life, and a drink isnt going to fix any of it. So, just for today, no drinking. Then, repeat that tomorrow.
St. Jude well. I do pray all the time, it does bring a measure of comfort. Ty.
Simpleman, thank you for the support. It helps so much to know Im not alone in this. Yes, we can do it!
Freeowl, I will check bac in tomorrow. I like your strategy. Its a done deal then!
Tomorrow's going to be a difficult day. Im having a second vet evaluate my sweet dog, who has already been diagnosed with a torn acl injury. Ive been stressed out about that too, and some other really big changes coming to my life soon. Its all kept me feeling anxious, then depressed. Its just life, and a drink isnt going to fix any of it. So, just for today, no drinking. Then, repeat that tomorrow.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Be strong Maximus. We are in your corner. Just don't drink today... keep it simple. You deserve what comes with being sober, that's why we are all here.
I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit. You do have the strength to make this happen. You've got to remind yourself of exactly why you are trying to be sober, and what you want to get out of your efforts. Each time you think of drinking, remind yourself of these things. I used to keep a list handy and had to read it hourly when my AV started to get the upper hand. Do anything to divert your attention away from these thoughts so you can break this cycle.
Bottom line is be true to yourself, and never give up.
Sorry to hear your dog is having a rough time. My lab tore her ACL about 8 years ago. She is limited, but still gets around pretty well for her age.
We are here whenever you need us!
I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit. You do have the strength to make this happen. You've got to remind yourself of exactly why you are trying to be sober, and what you want to get out of your efforts. Each time you think of drinking, remind yourself of these things. I used to keep a list handy and had to read it hourly when my AV started to get the upper hand. Do anything to divert your attention away from these thoughts so you can break this cycle.
Bottom line is be true to yourself, and never give up.
Sorry to hear your dog is having a rough time. My lab tore her ACL about 8 years ago. She is limited, but still gets around pretty well for her age.
We are here whenever you need us!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Well, the news is grim for my dog. She has torn both acl, and will require surgery on both. The only good thing is I found a vet much more affordable, and will be able to do one surgery soon. Then its 2 months of rehab, followed by another surgery, and two more months rehab. So, its going to be a long, hard, painful and expensive road ahead.
Im very depressed today, more then before, and of course the first thought was go have a drink. It would never be one, and it wont change anything, but the hateful desire is still there. As much as I hate alcohol, thats how my crazy mind still thinks. Thats the insanity of addiction.
So, just checking in, depressed, more then a lil angry, but thats just the way it goes.
Im very depressed today, more then before, and of course the first thought was go have a drink. It would never be one, and it wont change anything, but the hateful desire is still there. As much as I hate alcohol, thats how my crazy mind still thinks. Thats the insanity of addiction.
So, just checking in, depressed, more then a lil angry, but thats just the way it goes.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by maximus97
Well, the news is grim for my dog. She has torn both acl, and will require surgery on both. The only good thing is I found a vet much more affordable, and will be able to do one surgery soon. Then its 2 months of rehab, followed by another surgery, and two more months rehab. So, its going to be a long, hard, painful and expensive road ahead.
Im very depressed today, more then before, and of course the first thought was go have a drink. It would never be one, and it wont change anything, but the hateful desire is still there. As much as I hate alcohol, thats how my crazy mind still thinks. Thats the insanity of addiction.
So, just checking in, depressed, more then a lil angry, but thats just the way it goes.
Im very depressed today, more then before, and of course the first thought was go have a drink. It would never be one, and it wont change anything, but the hateful desire is still there. As much as I hate alcohol, thats how my crazy mind still thinks. Thats the insanity of addiction.
So, just checking in, depressed, more then a lil angry, but thats just the way it goes.
RIGHT NOW - it's OK to feel depressed. It's even OK to be angry.
RIGHT NOW, just let yourself know that it's human and normal and OK.
TODAY - what can you do for yourself, in response to those feelings?
TODAY - how can you support yourself?
TODAY - do some of those things, and DON'T DRINK....
RIGHT NOW - don't drink.
TODAY - right up until the time you fall asleep - don't drink.
You're doin' good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Thanks everyone, its good to have your support and understanding. Yes, Im upset, and worried, but Im not drinking over it today. Yes, she needs me, and Im choosing to be there for her. Im going to watch tv, try to relax, and go to bed early tonight. I will worry about all the rest of the tomorrows, as they come. Im not drinking today.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
oh hey.... having just put my dog down a week ago, losing my best friend of 15 years... I thought of one other thing in your situation that will probably be really good;
RIGHT NOW - cuddle that pup.
TODAY - cuddle that pup some more.
(It'll be fantastic for you both)
RIGHT NOW - cuddle that pup.
TODAY - cuddle that pup some more.
(It'll be fantastic for you both)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Well, here I am again. Day freakin one. After a few days sober here and there. I just can't hardly get a week anymore. Yes, I'm feeling low. Yes, I'm mad at myself. I didn't take things a lil at a time, I got caught up in the lies of the AV, that screamed at me, go ahead and get some relief, you can stop at a few, which is a downright lie. But, I made the choice, so I'm beginning again today. I sound like a stupid broken record, and I feel like one too. I know this is a tough thing to beat, and so far, I haven't been doing so well. But, I'm going to keep on trying, and I just wanted to put those feelings down. Thanks for listening, reading, caring.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: nc
Posts: 765
Hey Max... I've just been reading some of your posts. I know all to well the disappointing feeling of drinking when you feel like your mind is made up so strong against it... One of the things I use for myself and especially when I first started getting sober is... I tell myself.. Sure.. I can have a drink.. I just don't want to right now...... There's no law that says I can't if I really want to. I'm an adult.. I just really don't want one right now... That seems to take the edge off for my... I guess because I've never liked to feel like I can't have something I want.. I know that sounds selfish and I guess it is.. But if I want it.. I want it So by giving myself permission I also give myself permission to not have a drink.. It just some how eases the temptation.. I'm not saying I wont have one if I really want one.. I just don't really want one right this minute.... I hope you are having a good day.. Peace.
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